What a weird Real Housewives Of Orange Countyreunion; filled with a whole lot of nothing with a few juicy bits stuffed in between, hanging out here and there, kind of like the weird smooches of flesh hanging over the cut-outs of Tamra Judge‘s very complicated dress. Seriously – Forever XXII is for 21 year olds!
Overall this has been a very weird season of Real Housewives Of Orange County. It’s almost Old Testament in its Biblical ruthlessness of judgement and excoriating righting of wrongs. It’s an eye-for-an-eye, or in this case a Jesus Barbie for a Jesus Jugs.
Let’s just break down the important doo-dads before we get to Briana Culberson. Who Brooks is also threatening to sue!
Shannon acknowledged that part one of the reunion wasn’t all that juicy, “The bottom line is, there was a lot of ground to cover, so you are going to see the most tame stuff [first]. Parts two and three of the reunion are going to be crazy.” A follower insinuated that Shannon, Heather, Meghan, and Tamra planned to ambush Vicki at the reunion. “There’s no planned ambush,” she insisted. “Everyone went in there saying their truth. When you see the reunion parts two and three you’re going to be blown away. It’s mind blowing.”
Last week, in response to the season finale, Vicki speculated about why we never heard anything else about Tamra’s bout with cervical cancer. (I still find that supremely odd, gotta say!). Responding to Vicki’s accusation, Tamra tweeted, “Shes just deflecting. I never made my health a story line. Kinda like her brain tumor she claims to have.”
Vicki immediately tweeted to explain she actually suffered from a condition called Cholesteatomas. “I never said I had a brain tumor. I had 8 surgeries for cholesteatoma’s that ate thru my scull and ended up in the base of brain.” Vicki did share her story on Real Housewives Of Orange County way back in season 4 or 5.
As far as Real Housewives Of Orange County reunions go this one was very calculated. I’m not saying it wasn’t deserved – BECAUSE IN MANY WAYS IT SO WAS – but it was abundantly clear the ladies conspired to ‘stick together’ and focus all the animosity on Vicki Gunvalson. The ladies definitely leveraged their ‘fake friendship kumbaya’ routine to take-on Vicki as a unified group.
And why do I have an inkling that all these new-found best friendships of the RHOC, centered around ‘Vile Vicki‘, are completely fake and next season will be exploding in everyone’s faces? Meanwhile Tamra Judge and Vicki will become each other’s Friendship Warriors once again.
Andy, sensing the Confusion By Satan creepy calm, quizzes Vicki about how many Xanax she took. Vicki insists, “I don’t have anything in me by water and coffee.” Which equals Vicki being full of shit! Or she’ll be pissing the sofa to mark her territory as OG of The OC. Who knows – maybe she’s scored an endorsement deal for Puppy Pads?
Tonight begins the reputedly epic reunion where Vicki is confronted with details about her relationship to Brooks Ayers and what she knows about his cancer. Andy Cohen described it as a “very adult” reunion, explaining that although there was drama and arguing, there were no tantrums and screaming. Despite, obviously, nothing was resolved between Vicki and the other ladies.