Last night's Jersey Shore was a refreshing break from constant partying. I don't care who knows it, I love these kids. It would be a dream come true for me to spend some time hanging out with Pauly and Vinny. They are just too funny!
We begin asDeena Cortese is arrested for dancing in the streets. Sammi "Sweetheart" Giancola is crying that her friend is being taken away, but Ronnie Ortiz-Magro has been through this several times. She'll get a couple hours in the drunk tank, and then she'll be released. He believes that to honor their fallen meatball, they must keep drinking. Shots it is! Meanwhile, Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino, Vinny, Guadagnino and DJ Pauly D Delvecchio go tanning at the tanning salon where Paula works. The Situation has decided he's going to ask her to be his girlfriend. She deserves the title after all of the good sex and chocolate covered strawberries. After, they head to the sporting goods store to find some Sunday Funday activities. They buy out the store, including, but not limited to, a punching dummy, a fishing pole, and a stroller. Mike purchases the stroller for Snooki in hopes that it will help her to forgive him. Pauly knows she'll never accept the gift in a million years, but he thinks it's fun to watch. He's right.
Back at home, Ronnie and Sam tell Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi and Jenni "JWoww" Farley about Deena's predicament. Since they are both wasted and Jenni is on crutches, Snooki is enlisted to drive to the jail to bail out Deena. Snooki is proud of her fellow meatball, but I think she says it best when she says it's a pretty messed up world when she's considered the most responsible. Truer words have never been spoken. When they arrive at the jail, they are greeted by Deena's parents. Rookie mistake, according to Rawn. When you get arrested at the Shore, you call your roommates, not mom and dad. Once her parents pick her up, she is treated to quite the lecture.
Sweet relief! A certain network realized this week that two hour long episodes of the Jersey Shore weren't holding our attention. Thank you, MTV! Do you know what I realized? It's fun to watch the intro that features the gang circa season one given the amount of plastic surgery the girls have had. I almost don't recognize Jenni "J-Woww" Farley when she talks about ripping guys' heads off after sex! Of course, DJ Pauly Delvecchio looks exactly the same.
Last night begins at the tail-end of the Bamboo brawl. Andre 3000's twin is dressed as "Where's Waldo" and his entire purpose seems to be holding back an overly aggressive Vinny Guadagnino. Roger is scrapping with bouncers and pushes Jenni aside. She quickly throws a drink in his face in an effort to get him to chill. Ronnie Magro-Ortiz is the voice of reason. We all know that's never a good sign! The gang vacates Bamboo, with Roger storming ahead, not listening to anyone who tries to reason with him.
Jenni is wearing some God awful hot pink platform heels, and she seems to be limping. Roger yells at her about getting involved in the fight while his friend tries to calm him. Jenni tries to placate Roger, telling him she knows he didn't recognize her, and she's not mad at him for throwing her down because he clearly didn't mean to do it. His reply? "I knew it was you, and you deserved it." Oh alcohol, bringing couples together for centuries! Jenni and Deana Cortese head back to the house, and Deena is devastated by Roger's behavior. Back at the house, Jenni is worried that she has a broken ankle. Ronnie calls Roger to make sure he's okay and not sitting in jail, and Roger starts yelling about Jenni controlling him and playing the victim.
However, this show seems to have run its course. I am not saying I want it to end, and I still love how much these crazy orange kids care for one another, but seriously? Two hours? Something's got to give, MTV. Something has GOT to give.
Last night's episode begins as Snooki is moving into her own apartment right next door. Jenni and Pauly help her pack up her stuff and head over to her cute "granny shack." Jenni is still floored that the girl who hooked up with everyone (and peed on almost everyone), will be responsible for another human life. Rawn comes over as well to check out Snook's new digs.
Mike chats with his sister on the duck phone and reveals he's going to a check-up and may get a shot to block opiates and alcohol. His sister urges him to get the shot, but he doesn't want to be reminded of such a bad place in his life. The Situation feels like his family and friends don't trust him. His sister corrects him…they are just concerned and want the best for him. Mike decides to get the shot.
First up we check in with the two roommates who won't be partying this season. A sober Mike is having one last giant meal with his family after returning from rehab for prescription pills. He claims to be the healthiest he's ever been, and I am happy to see Paula by his side. I think she's good for him. He says they're not quite dating, but they are close. What does that even mean? Meanwhile, a pregnant Snooki is excited to see the old gang, and wouldn't miss out on the experience just because for something as minor as expecting a baby. She's done a total 180 (is that what it's called?) and there won't be any meatball antics with her.
JWoww and Roger are now living together after her quick stint as roommates with Snooki for their spin-off. He isn't thrilled at the prospect of her heading back to the shore to party, but Jenni insists the couple is in a better place than last season. She's just waiting on that much anticipated engagement ring!
Knowing he wasn't really winning any popularity contests last season the Situation has decided he is going to prepare an elaborate Sunday dinner for when his roommates arrive. Snooki calls JWoww, and we learn that she hasn't spoken to Mike since last summer when he accused her (multiple times) of cheating on Jionni with him. She doesn't want any drama. Roger laughs…as if no drama was ever an option with this bunch!