Breaking news! Vanderpump Rules star Jax Taylor was spotted wearing a sweater! Kristen Doute and Tom Sandoval are in a healthy, thriving relationship! Okay, so maybe one of those statements is true, but really, how shocking is it to see Jax sporting a chunky cardigan?
Stassi Schroeder's ex is doing his best to move on while his former (I'm guessing from the previews of next week's episode) friend and his lady are bucking everyone's advice and opinions by staying in a co-dependent, tension filled relationship built on lies and distrust. Good times at SUR, right?
Let's jump right in and get the absolute worst of it out of the way. Andy insisted on rehashing the stripper drama. Of course. We saw it all play out on TV – a penis (not Eddie's) in Tamra's ear and a boob (not Tamra's) in Eddie's mouth – and my eyeballs will never be the same.
Andy begged for all the tacky(Tamra's specialty) details.
Eddie said he was "blown away" over the penis to his wife-to-be's ear. Tamra shrugged it off, saying she certainly didn't enjoy it, unlike Eddie in Vegas. I refuse to talk about Eddie's boner again. Let's just say that Tamra's opinion of the incident definitely has not changed.
Danielle Staub stopped by the Watch What Happens Live clubhouse tonight to dish with Andy Cohen and it was almost as good as if Kim Granatell was on! Danielle shared her love for Teresa Giudice, her loathing of the other housewives, including sharing just how Melissa Gorga landed a spot on the show! Danielle also shared that she's shooting a new reality show!
Andy kicked off the show irritating Danielle by mentioning Kim G. Trust us, we know how much she despises Kim G. Danielle blocked us on Twitter for just for saying we wished that Danielle and Kim G would be on a show together. We meant it to be fun but she wasn't having it.
Her thoughts on Teresa's federal indictment charges: "I feel bad for them. They're people, they're family and you know things that are very bad are happening to them, so it would be really wrong of anyone to enjoy that."
Melissa Gorga hasn't commented onTeresa Giudice's indictment situation, but tonight on WWHL she declared that she's got Teresa's back and that the kids are the #1 priority. Melissa also claimed that no one believes the cheating allegations Jan is accusing her of next week, so she doesn't want to give it attention.
Melissa on the Real Housewives of New Jersey family retreat: "It was so stressful. we went from rock bottom to hugging it out to drinking. I was so relieved that it was better. I feel like we are better together and I fee like everyone likes to see us together anyway. It's just more fun. It's better, it's easy. We have a lot in common, as much as we don't have in common, we have stuff in common as well. We just have a good time together."
While I was excited to tune in to last night's season premiere, it's been evident from the promos that Josh Altman's story line is going to revolve around getting engaged to girlfriend and Madison Hildebrand defector Heather Bilyeu. She's now Mauricio's right hand girl…I wonder how Splits feels about that! That said, it came as no shock to find out that Josh did finally get down on one knee (metaphorically speaking, I assume…he'd never want to get his pants dirty).
Caroline made it clear that since the case isn't the typical silly drama of Real Housewives of New Jersey, she's not dishing on it. She told AndyCohen, "I texted her the day of the indictment. I just sent a message that I'll keep to myself and she did respond back and I'm going to keep that to myself as well.".
You know, I have mad respect for how hard the ladies of the housewives' franchise work. When they aren't filming drama-licious episodes, they are on a constant media tour, touting their products, and giving a whirlwind of interviews. Of course, we all know that no housewife is on her game more than Real Housewives of New Jersey'sTeresa Giudice, and you have to give her mad respect for that!
Speaking to Out In Jersey, Tre dishes on everything from her favorite dishes (what a segue!) to her family dramz. Of her latest cookbook Fabulicious On The Grill, Teresa opines, "It's really refreshing right?! This book is all about eating clean, and exercising of course. You are what you eat, people need to get that by now," adding, "I've been exercising for the past two seasons and it's been great, they really go hand in hand. I cook the way you see in the book, simple and easy, and always with fresh ingredients. That's really what people need to understand, it doesn't have to be fancy. You can make a great meal with fresh and simple ingredients."
Teresa also reveals that she's always had a passion for cooking, and she hopes that her girls will share her love of all things culinary. She says, "I'm first generation Italian, it's definitely what I love to do. The cooking, the cleaning, all of the traditional things like that, like the old days. I really think that the new generation loses that, and it's really important. Those are the things that were instilled in me, like keeping a good house and having old school values. I want my daughters to do these things for their families, which is what really inspired me to do the books. It's a memoir for my daughters to have for the future."
Tamra Barney (the reality star now known as Tamra Judge) stopped by the clubhouse on Watch What Happens Live and while she was hanging out she cleared up the Malibu Country misunderstandings, talked about having babies with Eddie Judge and more.
Andy started the show off rolling some of the tape from Gretchen Rossi's lunch with Alexis and asked Tamra if Gretchen has been overdoing the Botox because her face was so frozen. Tamra added, "It was like no emotion at all and this used to be her best friend. I kinda felt bad for Alexis."
They dove right in to address the Malibu Country role (again!) Tamra attempted to clear it up. "I think the whole story wasn't told. I think that Gretchen did get a call for a part that was not the part that Heather got, clearly. And I think there were some Beverly Hills housewives, Alexis was called. It was a role as an extra. So what happened was as soon as Heather got a main role, that extra role was canceled. But the thing is is that Gretchen kept up with "I got the role, I got the role" when there was no role to get. The role got shut down. Heather shut it down. So then Gretchen lied about it and said she got it."