Thank you, reality television, for making my home state look like the classiest and most intelligent place in the country. It started with Myrtle Manor, and then CMT slid thirty minutes down the coast to Murrells Inlet for a little gem called Party Down South. Next week, I'll have the pleasure of recapping Bravo's attempt to ruin the beautiful and historic city I adore with a little train wreck called Southern Charm (it's how the other half live, y'all…and I cannot wait!).
While all of South Carolina is abuzz about the upcoming society-skeeze-fest, those characters up scenic Highway 17 need to make sure they aren't forgotten. Enter the brain trust that is Lyle Boudreaux of Party Down South glory.
Oh, Welcome to Myrtle Manor–you keep making South Carolina proud! The Learning Channel show follows the inhabitants of a Southern trailer park, and the cast is determined to make a name for themselves…maybe not through ratings, but through arrests.
In the last week, three of the cast mates were popped by the po-po with two being arrested over the weekend. Now two of the Myrtle Manor residents are facing DUI charges while another faces allegations of sexual acts with a minor. Oh goodness!
I remember a much simpler time when TLC was all about stories. There was A Makeover Story (fun fact: The Office's Angela Kinsey and her friend from an improv group were once on it before she became famous), A Dating Story, A Wedding Story, and (the only one still left) A Baby Story. Sure, it was a really long time ago, but The Learning Channel didn't used to be all about scary pageant moms, wedding dress salons, and Gypsy Sisters getting kicked out of hot pink stretch limos and tanning with motor oil. The only thing I learn from the network these days is how to make Here Comes Honey Boo Boo's sketti. I must add that my boyfriend Clinton Kelly calls TLC home, so he's bringing the class.
Now TLC is just ninety minutes up the coast from where I reside, in what may be South Carolina's version of the Jersey Shore. That's right! The Learning Channel has landed in Myrtle Beach, or "The Dirtle" as many call it. Don't get me wrong, Myrtle Beach is all kinds of fun and has a little of everything. It's like a tiny Vegas with a Planet Hollywood, a Hard Rock Cafe, and a giant shopping/restaurant/bar/music venue that spans city blocks and includes everything from Medieval Times to a mini Grand Ol' Opry that features singers who look just like actual country stars. Add in the helicopter tours and a shop on every corner that sells over priced beach towels, shark tooth necklaces, and hermit crabs, and you've got a little slice of heaven in the Palmetto State. Don't take my word for it–you can now see for yourself on TLC's new series Welcome to Myrtle Manor. Joking aside, I have friends from Myrtle Beach who are none too thrilled at the idea that this show is potentially mocking their hometown.