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On last night’s episode of Real Housewives of Atlanta, Kim got ready for Kroy to leave for training camp and the rest of the ladies planned their trip to South Africa! NeNe decided to really stir up the drama by sneak inviting Marlo, and telling nary a soul, but Cynthia. And, oh my, were the ladies surprised, but not thrilled when Marlo joined them at the departure gate!

Things begin at Marlo‘s house, and ok, call me crazy, but I love the decor and the color scheme. NeNe is impressed that Marlo read Kim and Kandi the riot act at Cynthia‘s agency opening and definitely didn’t back down. On the tour, NeNe discovers Marlo has a full security system installed in her house, which she can monitor from her bedroom! Who is she, Drita D’avanzio? Is she mistressed to the mob in secret?

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Last night’s episode of the Real Trainwrecks of Beverly Hills contained a whole lotta drama that belongs on a different show. Lisa opened SUR, Kim had some sort of ongoing cray-cray with Ken, whom she is now leaving, and Taylor begged the ladies to love her in what I’m sure she believes is a good rendition of Sally Fields’ ‘You really like me…’ Oscar speech.

Things start off with Kyle getting ready for the SUR launch party with her eldest daughter Farrah. After chasing Portia around, Kyle lets a bored seeming Farrah know that Taylor has left Russell and that she and Kim are still fighting. Farrah wonders why Kyle hasn’t figured out how to manage her relationship with Kim already. Why is Farrah more mature than Kyle?

Meanwhile Lisa is putting the finishing touches on SUR and running around in a panic micromanaging every detail before ditching Ken to finish the job and blowing out the door without so much as a kiss. Poor Ken will have to wait until next year for a cuddle. Lisa needs to accept her life is on camera and not be embarrassed to show affection to her husband.

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On last night’s episode of Real Housewives of Atlanta it was all about roots. Phaedra decided to plan a cast trip to Africa so the ladies could learn about their ancestry and Kim and NeNe met face to face for the first time in months and decided it should probably be the last.

Things start out with Kim hauling her infant to the gun range. Safety first! Kroy has decided Kim should learn how to shoot and get a gun. I guess she sometimes has to deal with a rampant moose. At first Kim is nervous, but then she gets into being a pistol packin’ mama! Kim gets a pink 9mm and while she doesn’t love having a gun, she’s into getting something pink. Next I am sure she will wrangle a LV gun case.

Cynthia and Peter are meeting Apollo and Phaedra for a double date to work things out following the husband’s altercation at Kim’s babyshower. Phaedra declares it is a “powder in your panties” kinda day, basically a typical hot summer day in the south. God I love southern summers. And friction, what friction? Because everyone is getting along great.

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Last night’s episode of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills was fun except for the KimKyle-nanigans – that’s shenanigans by Kim and Kyle, if you can’t decipher the lingo. Kim, in addition to looking a hot mess and appearing hung over the entire trip also had Kyle taking every opportunity to argue with her; those two again managed to be completely inconsiderate to everyone, but luckily it ruined only Kyle’s good time.

Things start out on a high note with Adrienne and Paul hiking and holding hands. Double take! I love Paul in middle-aged tourist gear. All he needs is a fannypack to go with Adrienne’s “Visit The Palms, I need the money!” visor.

Kim finally arrives in Lanai! As for being late, “Oops” is all she has to say for herself. Kim is so excited to finally be there and unluckily gets placed in a room right next to Kyle. A frantic Kyle hears Kim’s voice and ignores Mauricio and margaritas(!) to eavesdrop on Kim. In the talking head, Kim states: “I chose to not *coke sniff* to talk to Kyle.” Nice.

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On last night’s episode of Real Housewives of Atlanta, new friendships were formed and relationships tested their boundaries as Peter and Cynthia struggled in their marriage and Phaedra and Apollo came together for the purpose of a new family business. Kim spends the whole episode annoyed that she has to parent her teenaged daughter – cause you know she has more important things to worry about like her 65 thousand gaudy-a$$ sofas. Does she feel bad every time she makes her husband move Big Poppa’s crap around?

Things start out in Phaedra’s kitchen where she is talking to her mom about opening her funeral home, Funerals Worth Dying For or Fabulous Funerals by Phaedra. Phaedra wants to leave a legacy for her son and thinks a funeral home is a way to do so. Isn’t she a lawyer – Ayden can’t take over the firm? Anyways, Phaedra is envisioning events, not funerals and her plan is to “throw ‘em in the ground with a bang!” There’s only one problem – Apollo has no interest in the mortuary business. No interest at all. Phaedra decides since he likes driving and is strong he can pick up the bodies and transport them to the mortuary. In fact, he can swap out going to the gym for lifting bodies since it’s such good exercise.

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We’re back in Atlanta tonight after a long hiatus! In the meantime the drama didn’t slow down for the holidays for our southern belles of the Real Housewives of Atlanta.

Keeping herself busy and gainfully employed, singer/songwriter Kandi Burruss has officially added purveyor of self-pleasure to her resume and launched her sex toy line. Also, gleefully branching out from her day job as main drama starter du jour on RHOA is NeNe Leakes whose recent guest spots on Glee have launched her career and her ego.

Speaking to Naughty But Nice Rob of The Huffington Post, Kandi gave him the deets of her newest venture: Bedroom Kandi. Oh, how clever #not. Her most proud accomplishment is the melding of two of her favorite things: music and masturbation with the launch of a music activated vibrator. Off topic — but did I really just use the word “masturbation” at work? Wow.

“They are happiness and joy,” Kandi said of her new line. “We have one button if you choose you can connect it to your stereo or mp3 [player], iPod or whatever and that vibrates to whatever song is playing on the stereo system.”

And just in case you want to make a purchase to spice up your alone time, Kandi advises on how to pick the perfect vibrator. “This is how you tell if it’s a good vibrator or not,” Kandi describes. “You tell how strong it is by the tip of your nose. Most people like them as gifts because it’s different. It’s great and it’s wireless and rechargeable — no batteries needed.” Well good to know, good to know… See the video of Kandi’s appearance on Rob’s show below!

As for Kandi’s spinoff show with Bravo, titled ‘The Kandi FactoryBravo announced over the weekend that it will premiere on March 4! The show follows Kandi as she attempts to turn two music hopefuls into pop stars! Hey, if she can do it with Kim Zolciak, she can do it with anyone!

Moving right along, NeNe is taking her ego to a whole new level! In a new article by the National Enquirer they are claiming the notorious NeNe is giddy about how her career is taking off since guest starring on Glee giving her ultimate bragging rights.

“This is NeNe’s dream come true,” a show insider revealed to the gossip mag. “She can’t wait to become a big star and watch the rest of the housewives in her rear view mirror as she drives off from Atlanta to Hollywood!” Well, check yourself before you wreck yourself, NeNe and don’t let your ego get the best of you.

According to insiders, NeNe feels “vindicated” after landing the guest role particularly in the wake of her castmates’ dislike of her now that she has the opportunity to break out from Housewives. “She told a pal, ‘Whoever said success is the best revenge got it right. I can’t wait to issue a big fat goodbye to all those bitches!’ ”

NeNe is anxiously awaiting the opportunity to rub her latest success in her co-star’s and former friend’s faces — particularly Sheree Whitfield and Kim Zolciak! According to the article Kim was hoping her new marriage and baby storyline would result in a permanent spin off, ala Bethenny Frankel, but Andy Cohen has been vocal in stating the spin off is a one-time event and he wants Kim to remain on RHOA.

“NeNe thinks this Glee role will eclipse the accomplishments of the other Atlanta Housewives combined, and she couldn’t be happier,” the insider continues. “She feels having the last laugh on everyone who ever dissed her.”

Finally, tonight there is an all-new episode of RHOA! On tonight’s episode Phaedra makes moves towards opening her family mortuary business, Kandi branches into the country music scene and NeNe confronts gossip about her alleged affair with Charles Grant! A preview of the new episode is below. Tonight also kicks off the new five-nights a week schedule for Watch What Happens Live where Kandi will be the guest!

Real Housewives of Atlanta airs tonight on Bravo at 9/10c.

THOUGHTS ON KANDI’S NEW SEX TOY LINE – DO YOU THINK IT WILL BE SUCCESSFUL? DO YOU THINK NENE’S GUEST ROLE ON GLEE WILL PROPEL HER INTO BIGGER VENTURES?

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Last night on the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, the power of an email haunts Kyle’s infamous White Party. Aaaahhh… The white party. The party of parties of parties. Known throughout the BH as the fete of the year. It’s dashing, it’s whimsical — it’s a slew of wealthy ladies in sequined bed sheets berating each other! Just another Beverly Hills evening, nothing to see here folks!

Things start out with Adrienne breezing into Paul’s office to regale him with the story of litigious emails. Apparently after Camille outed Taylor’s claims to the world, Taylor raced back home and told Russell that Camille has been spilling lies and Russell dashed off his version of a pleasant email to Camille and threatened to sue her for “false and slanderous remarks that could damage his business.”

Adrienne sums it up thusly: “Friends don’t sue friends. Or threaten to sue friends.” Perhaps this is how you figure out who your real friends are in the ol’ BH. If you don’t get slapped with a lawsuit or a sis and desis you’re besties!

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Last night on Real Housewives of Beverly Buzz Kills it was more of the same: Taylor whining, Kim freaking out, Kyle seeking attention and everyone else trying to act like the reality world isn’t imploding. It was nice to see some fun and fluff with Pandora’s bachelorette party, but that was about the only bright spot in this morose wasteland of the rich, the wannabe rich, and the completely depressing.

Things start out with new Beverly besties Lisa and Taylor meeting for lunch. Lisa just wants to help Taylor. Taylor just wants to ensnare a kind-hearted Lisa in her web of lies and deceit now that Camille is wise to her game. Taylor downplays the disaster at Malibu beach as if she were just a girl who had too many drinks and acted a little cray-cray instead of being one step away from Beverly Mental Hospital. Was anyone else distracted by Taylor’s brows?

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