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Last night’s episode of Real Housewives of Atlanta left NeNe Leakes and myself completely speechless. I dare say that was the oddest, craziest and most bizarre fight in Housewives history! Poor South Africa didn’t deserve this. Also, for self-proclaimed etiquette expert Marlo it’s a long way to the top if you want to be a socialite!

Arriving in South Africa the ladies brought the wild to the safari. Chalk it up to jet lag if you will. Lord the one liners in this episode are PRICELESS! After some super annoying Blair Witch Project footage of the women flying coach with no make up, they land in the airport, where much drama with the luggage ensues.

Apparently no one with the title “Housewives of Atlanta” can go on a ten-day trip with less than ten bags, so everyone is pushing these ENORMOUS luggage carts around the airport. Louis Vuitton is probably issuing a cease and desist letter right about now – either that or filing a defamation of character suit after this episode.

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Oh good gracious! Those ladies of Atlanta are at it yet again. This time Real Housewives of Atlanta’s Mama Kim Zolciak is telling cast mate Cynthia Bailey’s husband what’s what.

Now I am rarely Team Kim, except when singing “The Ring Didn’t Mean a Thing” in my car and wishing I had a few luscious wigs to sport, but I think that in this case, she has a reason to be angry. And not just regular mad… Twitter mad. We all know it’s the tweets that bring the heat.

Kim took to Twitter, the rich man’s crap talking mecca, to remind Cynthia’s husband Peter Thomas that she has more important things to do than traipse off to South Africa… and those things have nothing to do with racism. Peter went as far as to insinuate that Kim’s absence on the ladies’ RHOA trip had more to do with the fact she had issues with other races and less to do with the fact she had two daughters and a newborn son at home. With her new husband Kroy Biermann away at training camp, shouldn’t Kim have figured out a way to go on the trip so as not to offend Peter, a househusband notorious for stirring up drama? Maybe Sweetie could have baby-sat. Is the man serious?

Apparently, Peter believed that the fact the women’s destination was South Africa was a major hang up for Kim. He alluded that had the trip been to some European destination, Kim would have bent over backwards to find child care. Oh no he di-int!

Not one to take these accusations lying down (although she probably was, because Kim rivals me in the ‘lounging’ department #imnotlazyimtired) Kim blasted her co-star’s husband on the Twitterverse saying, “Peter is so ignorant!! Kj was 7 weeks old, I was breastfeeding and Kroy was gone at football camp! Sooo Peter can kiss my ass!!!”

No word yet on whether Peter is sticking to his guns or if he’ll back pedal with the best of them. The man is infamous (on this Bravo franchise, at least) for speaking first and thinking second — if at all, so who knows if Kim will get an apology or another round of haterade from the outspoken restauranteur.

Not that Kim has time to worry about such trivial things, especially with her spin-off debut Don’t Be Tardy for the Wedding right around the corner. Do you have spring fever or are you just itching to see the wig-a-licious wedding spectacular? I have both, but I’m leaning more towards the latter.

Taking to that trusty Twitter account yet again, Kim tweeted a curious fan that “Don’t be Tardy for the Wedding airs on Bravo in April!!!” While Bravo is remaining mum on when the world will get to see the Zolciak-Biermann nuptials, if anyone has an inside track to when the train wreck fabulousness that occurred on 11.11.11 will be premiering, it’s everyone’s favorite auto-tuned bride.

Perhaps the Bravo machine wants to declare the news for all to hear via Andy Cohen on Watch What Happens Live. Mr. and Mrs. Big Poppa Biermann will be joining Andy in the clubhouse in January 29. Jokes aside, I do think Kim has reigned it in this season and I for one am excited to see her so happy.

Meanwhile, another Atlanta housewife is ready to make a bigger name for herself. In an interview with Sister2Sister, Kandi Burruss discusses her own spin-off Kandi Factory and why the show’s format is near and dear to the musician’s heart.

Kandi is excited to show the world what she really does for a living on her new show Kandi Factory which premieres (where else?) on Bravo March 4. The series will follow the Grammy winning adult toy purveyor as she works to make two unknown singers into the next great talent. As someone who has worked with the likes of Usher, TLC and Alicia Keys, Kandi certainly knows what she’s doing.

She tells the site, “Bravo is giving me the opportunity to do what I do, on television. I’m very excited about that.” She continues, “Musically, that’s near and dear to my heart. That’s what I do. I love being creative.”

Not only does Kandi have a slew of number one hits under her belt, but she also did what many would have deemed impossible if they hadn’t witnessed it themselves. She wrote and produced two songs for cast mate Kim Zolciak and made her into an iTunes sensation. If you’ve heard Kim sing, you know that is no small feat! Given her knowledge of the industry as well as her ability to work magic on the vocally challenged, it’s no wonder she’s secured her own spin-off.

Kandi reveals, “Ever since I did the situation with Kim, people come up to me on the street every day. Now, I actually have an opportunity to do it for normal people for real. We’re going to pick two for the episode and one may be a diamond in the rough and one may not be able to sing hardly at all. We’re going to show you what we do. We have our whole team. It’s not just me.”

“I will put together the team to transform this person into someone hot. Can I do it?” asks Kandi. “I made the statement on one of the episodes that I can make anybody hot, and in my mind, I really do believe that. But whether it’s true or not is going to be left for you to decide.”

And decide I’m sure we will. I know I’ll be tuning in on March 4 for the new series!

I will also be tuning in tonight at 9ET as the ladies head to South Africa. On the 12th episode this season titled “South Africa: Just Like Home,” the ladies arrive in Cape Town, where a relaxing yacht ride turns ugly when Marlo confronts Sheree about not inviting her to a party. In Atlanta, Kim finds it difficult to adjust to Kroy’s absence and taking care of her brood on her own. A preview clip is below.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF KIM’S TWEETS TO PETER? SHOULD SHE HAVE GONE ON THE TRIP? WILL YOU BE WATCHING DON’T BE TARDY FOR THE WEDDING? KANDI FACTORY?

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Last night’s season finale episode of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills brought us back to the show we know and love with an over-the-top wedding featuring all the trimmings those of us in the real world could never afford. It was beautiful, it was captivating, it was pink, and most importantly, it was drama free! I think it was a perfect season finale — until the last fifteen minutes, which I’ll pretend never happened.

It’s the day before Pandora’s pinksplosion fantasy wedding. As planned, the Vanderfabulous-Todds have converted part of their tennis court into the wedding site complete with a massive white tent that ensconces every surface in dangling crystals. While everything is carrying on as scheduled, Kevin Lee is apparently out of town! Kevin’s assistant is there in his absence and while she lacks Kevin’s bling, bling, she seems far more efficient.

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On last night’s episode of Real Housewives of Atlanta, Kim got ready for Kroy to leave for training camp and the rest of the ladies planned their trip to South Africa! NeNe decided to really stir up the drama by sneak inviting Marlo, and telling nary a soul, but Cynthia. And, oh my, were the ladies surprised, but not thrilled when Marlo joined them at the departure gate!

Things begin at Marlo‘s house, and ok, call me crazy, but I love the decor and the color scheme. NeNe is impressed that Marlo read Kim and Kandi the riot act at Cynthia‘s agency opening and definitely didn’t back down. On the tour, NeNe discovers Marlo has a full security system installed in her house, which she can monitor from her bedroom! Who is she, Drita D’avanzio? Is she mistressed to the mob in secret?

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Last night’s episode of the Real Trainwrecks of Beverly Hills contained a whole lotta drama that belongs on a different show. Lisa opened SUR, Kim had some sort of ongoing cray-cray with Ken, whom she is now leaving, and Taylor begged the ladies to love her in what I’m sure she believes is a good rendition of Sally Fields’ ‘You really like me…’ Oscar speech.

Things start off with Kyle getting ready for the SUR launch party with her eldest daughter Farrah. After chasing Portia around, Kyle lets a bored seeming Farrah know that Taylor has left Russell and that she and Kim are still fighting. Farrah wonders why Kyle hasn’t figured out how to manage her relationship with Kim already. Why is Farrah more mature than Kyle?

Meanwhile Lisa is putting the finishing touches on SUR and running around in a panic micromanaging every detail before ditching Ken to finish the job and blowing out the door without so much as a kiss. Poor Ken will have to wait until next year for a cuddle. Lisa needs to accept her life is on camera and not be embarrassed to show affection to her husband.

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On last night’s episode of Real Housewives of Atlanta it was all about roots. Phaedra decided to plan a cast trip to Africa so the ladies could learn about their ancestry and Kim and NeNe met face to face for the first time in months and decided it should probably be the last.

Things start out with Kim hauling her infant to the gun range. Safety first! Kroy has decided Kim should learn how to shoot and get a gun. I guess she sometimes has to deal with a rampant moose. At first Kim is nervous, but then she gets into being a pistol packin’ mama! Kim gets a pink 9mm and while she doesn’t love having a gun, she’s into getting something pink. Next I am sure she will wrangle a LV gun case.

Cynthia and Peter are meeting Apollo and Phaedra for a double date to work things out following the husband’s altercation at Kim’s babyshower. Phaedra declares it is a “powder in your panties” kinda day, basically a typical hot summer day in the south. God I love southern summers. And friction, what friction? Because everyone is getting along great.

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Last night’s episode of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills was fun except for the KimKyle-nanigans – that’s shenanigans by Kim and Kyle, if you can’t decipher the lingo. Kim, in addition to looking a hot mess and appearing hung over the entire trip also had Kyle taking every opportunity to argue with her; those two again managed to be completely inconsiderate to everyone, but luckily it ruined only Kyle’s good time.

Things start out on a high note with Adrienne and Paul hiking and holding hands. Double take! I love Paul in middle-aged tourist gear. All he needs is a fannypack to go with Adrienne’s “Visit The Palms, I need the money!” visor.

Kim finally arrives in Lanai! As for being late, “Oops” is all she has to say for herself. Kim is so excited to finally be there and unluckily gets placed in a room right next to Kyle. A frantic Kyle hears Kim’s voice and ignores Mauricio and margaritas(!) to eavesdrop on Kim. In the talking head, Kim states: “I chose to not *coke sniff* to talk to Kyle.” Nice.

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On last night’s episode of Real Housewives of Atlanta, new friendships were formed and relationships tested their boundaries as Peter and Cynthia struggled in their marriage and Phaedra and Apollo came together for the purpose of a new family business. Kim spends the whole episode annoyed that she has to parent her teenaged daughter – cause you know she has more important things to worry about like her 65 thousand gaudy-a$$ sofas. Does she feel bad every time she makes her husband move Big Poppa’s crap around?

Things start out in Phaedra’s kitchen where she is talking to her mom about opening her funeral home, Funerals Worth Dying For or Fabulous Funerals by Phaedra. Phaedra wants to leave a legacy for her son and thinks a funeral home is a way to do so. Isn’t she a lawyer – Ayden can’t take over the firm? Anyways, Phaedra is envisioning events, not funerals and her plan is to “throw ‘em in the ground with a bang!” There’s only one problem – Apollo has no interest in the mortuary business. No interest at all. Phaedra decides since he likes driving and is strong he can pick up the bodies and transport them to the mortuary. In fact, he can swap out going to the gym for lifting bodies since it’s such good exercise.

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