Oh dear! We're on Real Housewives War, Vol 2 million. Last week comedian Chelsea Handler had a rather lackluster and brutal appearance on Watch What Happens Live. She openly told Andy Cohen that his brainchild, The Real Housewives franchise, was awful.
"I think that franchise is kind of a terrible thing," Chelsea remarked to Andy. "Women shouldn't be making money off of the fact that they have fake books, fake vaginas, fake whatever. I actually don't support that."
When Andy reminded her that she'd had some Housewives as guests, Chelsea quickly clarified she had "one," Bethenny Frankel. "Not even Brandi Glanville," Chelsea pointed out.
"I love the Housewives," Chelsea quipped sarcastically. Ironically for someone complaining about how fake the Housewives are, Chelsea dear has had a whole lotta botox. Dang girl – surprised you can move that mouth slapped into the middle of a too-tight shiny face.
Apparently a television personality is going to start showing the Kardashians some love…although it's more about getting talk show guests than actually wanting to play nice. Chelsea Handler is turning over a new leaf, and she's not going to be bashing the fame hungry family. That's right. She and Kris Jenner have called a truce on their public, two-year feud.
Just to maintain order in the universe, whenever someone backs the Kardashians, another person must bash them. If we don't maintain this balance, who knows what could happen to the planet? In other Kardashian news, some long lost relatives of Kris Humphries are breaking the family's silence on his never ending divorce from Kim Kardashian. His aunt and uncle are opening up on what they think of the 72 day union, as well as Kris' motives for wanting it annulled.
Ok, Ok… my cynical heart has slightly thawed because this is the most hilariously fabulous thing I've ever seen. LuAnn de Lesseps has some serious competition in the outrageously ridiculous Housewives music video department in the form of Kenya Moore!
Taylor appeared on Watch What Happens Live last night where she got down and dirty – and the little wino that is did not hold back.
“Adrienne’s a liar, and I’m tired of the lies,” Taylor informed Andy Cohen. “I would like for her to admit that there’s either a letter or there’s not. I'm tired of having to live with an elephant in the room when we're all trying to have a good time." From one liar to another, a little piece of advice…
"I think there's a physical letter," Taylor slurred. "I think it’s either true, or not, and Brandi [Glanville] has the letter!” Interesting how quickly things can change.
Last week was huge forNeNe Leakes. It's no wonder she's been slack on writing her Bravo blog…she's been rubbing elbows with major movie stars and acting on an award-winning sitcom. I mean, seriously, let's all go back to season one when NeNe was drunk and singing in that limo. Did you ever think she would become this much of a legitimate and hard-working success? WIG! Her most recent blog post is definitely assalicious, as she weighs in on the Donkey Booty battle betweenPhaedra ParksandKenya Moore.
Kenya is also making a name for herself, as most housewives do, by recording a new song. I'm sure you watched it in all of it's glory onWatch What Happens Live, but if not, please, immediately click here. It's oh so worth it. She discusses her debut in a recent interview, and she chats about watching herself on Real Housewives of Atlanta.
"You can't fake emotions," Kenya maintains. "If he was playing games, I wasn't playing games." Uh huh – I think actresses can and do fake emotions all the time, and doesn't Kenya fancy herself an actress?
And after she did that talking bit that we all don't care about, Kenya did the for real important thing and that was to perform LIVE! Yes, LIVE! her new song "Gone With The Wind Fabulous." Is anyone else failing to see what exactly is so fabulous about GWTW? Has Kenya seen the movie? Read the book?
Really? Really? I think I just had a horrible nightmare. Oh it was so bad. There were tone-deaf desperate middle aged women twirling around in too tight clothes, screaming about their butts and security and sperm donors and Gone With The Wind. They were looking for a broken pageant crown. And worst of all… THEY WERE SINGING! They swore people thought they were Beyoncé. More like Beyon-fake.
Then I woke up and realized I was just watching Watch What Happens Live where it was announced that Kenya Moore is releasing a song based on the catchphrase she thinks is going to happen. Yes, below you can listen to the Gone With The Wind Fabulous audio. It sounds like an 80's workout video and the Real Housewives of Atlanta star was erroneously mislead into believing her "rap" is cute.