Last night on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills the ladies got wild and out in Ojai. I have to say last night was one of the most fun episodes ever and it makes you think if they all got their panties out of a wad, relaxed, and spoke to each other like normal people instead of obsessing over petty drama they'd all get along and be fun. But alas, that would be too easy and far too mature.
Things begin with the girls still in Ojai where Brandi Glanville has just dropped the eff-bomb at Buckingham Palace in front of Queen Elizabeth and her corgis. Oh, wait – no she didn't. She just said it to Adrienne Maloof, but the way these ninnies were acting you'd think this was the most official, classy, elegant prestigious dinner in all the world. I don't know why they were all getting up on their high horses acting like they've never said F-U before when we all know they use it. Right, Splits Richards?
Anyway, Brandi and Kim Richards were doing a big Ojai love-in and pouring their hearts out when Adrienne gets on the intercom with her whiny, donkey voice to announce that someone is crying in Aisle 5 and clean-up is required. Repeat, someone – ahem KIM – is crying!
So Brandi was forced to tell Adrienne to eff off and everyones' heads snapped around like Adrienne just announced that someone was peeing on a Chanel bag. Their mouths dropped, and they glared at Brandi as if she was pee culprit desecrating the holy statue.
First of all let me apologize for this beast being so late, but good things come to those who wait, right? Last night on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, boy did we witness some groveling. It was down in the dirt, on your knees, begging kind of groveling as Queen Lisa Vanderpump barely acknowledged her subject's pleas for redemption.
I should say last night's episode was a study in relationship building and friendship, but also in status. New alliances were drawn, and enemy lines began to be sorted out. Also, the ladies took a trip to Ojai where apparently magic happens. But no amount of magic can make these girls behave in public.
Things begin with two ladies afflicted by a curse of over botoxing and an unfortunate affinity for ugly blouses facing off in a quaint little restaurant. One lady, a benevolent but stern queen, and the other a marginally disgraced princess who is quivering and anxious with anticipation. Yes, Adrienne Maloof has realized she made enemies with the wrong lady, because while Lisa can be sweet as rosé, she will cut a bitch faster than she'll discard a wilting rose.
On a recent episode of Real Housewives of Miami, Joe Francis was heard accusingJoanna Krupa of sleeping with Mohamed. Well now a new report accuses Joanna of being the blame for breaking up Yolanda and Mohamed's marriage!
It's well known that Joanna has quite the past (or at least there are many accusations leading that way), but is she really a homewrecking harlot? I dare say this may be our first case of cross-cities Housewives feuding, but I can't wait until Andy Cohen books these two on an appearance for WWHL together!
Adrienne Maloof and Brandi Glanville have been at each other's throats since last year's reunion. And things are about to explode staring with tonight's Real Housewives of Beverly Hills episode. The former friends (Adrienne reportedly got Brandi cast for the show!) get into an argument over Adrienne's marital problems.
“Adrienne and Brandi get into a HUGE fight about Adrienne and Paul [Nassif]’s marriage,” an insider dishes to NY Daily News.
Apparently the fight began over Adrienne misrepresenting herself to cameras – including behaving as if her marriage was fine while the entire cast knew things were very rocky between Adrienne and Paul!
“Adrienne has been very controlling about what she allows the cameras to film because she wants to project a certain image of having the perfect life,” the insider explains.
Our favorite Real Housewives can’t get enough of the spotlight during their regularly scheduled time slots, so they take to Twitter to share even more of their daily lives with us. And we love them for it! Here’s a roundup of the Real Housewives' Thanksgiving! Enjoy!
Gotta love Brandi Glanville's cut to the chase approach. Since Taylor Armstrong can't stop talking about her "archnemesis" and her alleged slutty behavior, Brandi decided to discuss how she feels about Taylor's behavior.
The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star sat down with Us Weekly where she shared her perspective on this season and discussed why she does not condone Taylor's relationship with her very-married boyfriend, John Bluher. In the very candid interview, Brandi is upfront and direct but not exactly catty.
First up, Brandi talks about how things got so mixed up in her comment to Yolanda Foster about sleeping with everyone in Beverly Hills. Apparently Yolanda, who's Dutch, doesn't always get American humor, particularly sarcasm.
Brandi reveals that she and Yolanda end up "very close BFFs" throughout the show and she classifies Yolanda as "Team Sanity."
Last night on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills we were treated to a feast of crazy. Newbie Yolanda Foster tells us her biggest problem in life is having too many lemons about her house (she has an orchard of lemon trees), and after last night's dinner party I think that very well may be the case. Sometimes friendships go sour, and sometimes sour grapes ruin a friendship before it even begins.
Things begin with Kim Richards getting her youngest daughter Kimberly ready for prom. Kim is breathless with anxiety and is taking out her stress by molesting a vat of chicken salad for 100 while Kimberly gets her hair done. Kim comes out with this bowl that weighs as much as she does and sets it down in the middle of some banquet feast saying she just wants everything to be perfect.
It was literally the chicken salad that ate Kim Richards and she was running her fingers through it, caressing it, just praying on this chicken mess that everything would go perfectly.
Kimberly's boyfriend shows up and he's 20 to her 16. What?! Maybe they should stay home and eat chicken salad. How exactly did this man meet this teenager and who exactly is condoning this? Well, besides Bravo and Kim, obviously. I'll try not to judge… I have to say I cannot get over how gorgeous Kimberly is and how much she looks like a young Kim.
Last night on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills the ladies bored us to death and then got crotchety and bitchy at Portia's fourth birthday party. I don't know about you, but I always aim to get my drunk on and cause some trouble near the ring-around-the-faux-unicorn corral. Don't step in the shit, girls!
Before all that there were Househusbands in heels, some really bizarre timing, and a peace offering tree trunk that landed like deadweight and the fall was heard round the BH. Oh, and stage moms from hell! Weeee!
Watching this show makes me think that the zombie apocalypse will come from fillers and Botox eating the brains of the living and causing us to look like melted wax-faced drones incapable of moving our faces and conveying emotions. Brainless and melty faced, the streets of Beverly Hills will be filled with ladies hobbling around similarly to the way Paul Nassif and Mauricio Umansky did in their heels.
So things begin with Kyle Richards and Adrienne Maloof spending my yearly paycheck on clothes for Portia. Is $300 the standard budget for a birthday present there or is this just price inflation at work because four-year-olds spill a lot and do not need zillion dollar wardrobes (or birthday parties).
Of course the real reason for this shopping trip had absolutely nothing to do with poor scapegoated Portia; the real reason was so Adrienne could talk about her nemesis, Lisa Vanderpump. Apparently Adrienne is ready to put the past behind her but Lisa is unwilling to forgive, that makes Lisa "childish."