Love & Hip Hop Hollywood Recap: As Long As There’s No Sex…

love and hip hop hollywood nikki

I will never understand the thought processes of the women on Love & Hip Hop Hollywood. What do they see in these men? Do they hear the words coming out of their mouths? Last night’s episode begins as Mally Mall is trying to make-up with Nikki with grand romantic gestures. Over a rose petal strewn lunch, he gifts her with an empty box. It’s a metaphor as to how he felt when the two were apart. Mall then gives Nikki keys to his house because he wants to move in together. Should I add that it’s the house that Masika picked out for him? Mally promises over and over that he never did anything with Masika, but this one time he did let her bleep his bleep. Oh, and he told her he loves her, but “only as a person.” I can’t believe Nikki is even entertaining this! She agrees to move in if she can watch Mall confront Masika and tell her she is delusional for ever thinking the two were an item. This should be good!

Going behind Hazel’s back, Teairra Mari plans to work on her music with Yung Berg. The two have a bit of a tainted past because Berg revealed to the world that Teairra and Ray-J were an item during a radio interview. He’s hoping the two can move past that situation and make some money together. When Berg asks about Teairra’s relationship with Hazel, Teairra admits that they are no longer friends, and business is business. Berg knows that Hazel will be furious, but she’s certainly not the boss of him. The two decide to make music–and money–by working together on some new songs. 

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Hazel and Masika are commiserating about how horrible men are. After Berg’s stunt at the ASCAP awards, Hazel is feeling defeated. After all, they just had a conversation about how they needed to explore their relationship since they keep coming back to one another, and Berg was totally on board. Wait, is she actually in the same conversations we’re watching? She knows that all she needs to do is ignore him for a few days and he’ll totally coming running back. Masika agrees that Mall will likely be chasing her as well, as he’s about to the heave-ho. She then recaps her tiff with Nikki at Morgan’s massage party. Both women complain that Teairra doesn’t ever seem to have their backs. 

love and hip hop hollywood hazel

Nikki and Teairra are having a spa day to rehash the same event. Nikki reminds Teairra that Mally is her man and he’s promised her up and down that he didn’t sleep with Masika, she just bleeped his bleep. I love how casually those words roll off Nikki’s tongue when she’s talking about her boyfriend and another woman, as if bleeping his bleep was the same as shaking his hand. Teairra thinks it was pretty shady of Masika to diss Nikki’s plastic surgery, and Nikki wonders how she even know about all her enhancements in the first place. She’s kidding, right? The woman is a walking silicone statute. Teairra takes the opportunity to throw shade at Morgan for sharing pre-surgery pics of Nikki with her and Masika. Nikki can’t wait to confront Morgan when she takes some girls to dance in Ray-J’s video.

Apryl is planning to have a midwife, and she and Omarion are meeting with a midwife. She then goes off on Omarion for not defending her against her mom at her baby shower. He can’t control his mother’s mouth, so he just sat back. Omarion is growing impatient of Apryl’s pregnancy induced aggression. Seriously? He should have stepped up to the plate and put his mother in her place! Across town, Nikki is “delivering” some of her hottest girls for Ray-J’s video. I feel like I”m watching a bad human trafficking episode of SVU. Nikki then confronts Morgan. When things get heated, Ray-J has to intervene and ask Morgan to be a professional. He’s even more upset to hear that Morgan has been seeing Teairra behind his back.

love and hip hop hollywood moniece

Moniece, Hazel and Masika are taking a dance class and gossiping about Berg. Masika and Moneice are hoping they can turn Hazel off from messy Berg. Hazel knows that Berg loves her, and she’s willing to put up with his behavior as long as she’s getting what she needs. Masika then drops the bomb about Teairra’s collaboration with Berg. Hazel is not happy with this news at all. Moniece just rolls her eyes and tries to remind Hazel that Berg is never going to change. She’s a gorgeous girl, and I feel like she looks like someone famous…as in someone more famous than this reality show. Any suggestions? 

In an attempt to “be more professional,” Morgan is trying to get more exposure for Ray-J by having him co-host a big radio event with Yesi. She shares her struggles with her relationship with Ray and her family issues which cause him to mean so much to her. Yesi encourages her to share her feelings with Ray and also to stop out of his shadow and live in her own light. Meanwhile, Hazel decides to confront Berg, and he thinks she’s crazy for trying to tell him who to work with in the industry. She isn’t his girlfriend or his manager. Berg thinks she needs to focus more on her music and less on his feelings for her. 

Omarion is finally meeting with his mom about the way she’s been treating Apryl. Leslie isn’t listening to word her son says. She finds Apryl to be materialistic and selfish. Sound familiar? When Omarion tells his mother that she won’t be present at the birth, she loses it. He’s trying to break a family tradition. After all, Omarion was delivered by his grandmother. She can’t believe she’s being banned…and it makes her dislike Apryl even more. Taking Yesi’s advice, Morgan tries to explain her feelings to Ray-J, but he continues to question her professionalism. She’s his assistant first and her friend second.

love and hip hop hollywood nikki 2

At Mally’s request, Masika comes to his house. She wants to know why he’s such a dirty liar and cheat. Masika makes some pretty valid points, and Mally looks like a giant d-bag. This is only accentuated when he announces that his real girlfriend Nikki has arrived. When Nikki reminds Masika that she never had sex with Mall, she just bleeped his bleep, Masika laughs at Mally’s lie. Not able to look anyone in the eye, he keeps repeating over and over that he never had sex with Masika. Trying to (sort of?) take the high road, Masika can’t be a part of the madness any longer (did Nikki just offer lessons on how to better bleep his bleep?), and she wishes them both luck. Nikki follows her out and tries to push her out the door. Not the smartest idea. These women are fools. 

TELL US-WHAT DID YOU THINK OF LAST NIGHT’S EPISODE? DO ANY OF THESE LADIES HAVE ANY SELF-RESPECT??

[Photo Credit: VH1]

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