The Real Housewives Of New York Recap: Bidding On Love

Real Housewives Of New York Recap: Bidding On Love

Well, it’s been over a year and at least one sizable scandal later, but the Real Housewives Of New York are not ready to get off Tom D’Agostino‘s jock just yet! Now, Carole Radziwill has new intel that will fuel speculation about Luann de Lesseps‘ fiance (now husband) for the rest of the season to come. In the mean time, Bethenny Frankel tries to apologize to him at Dorinda Medley‘s charity event. It goes over about as well as a karaoke solo at an office party. In the daytime. Meanwhile, Sonja Morgan continues to bring the hammer down on Tinsley Mortimer‘s life choices – this time in the bedroom!

Dorinda is throwing a charity event for Beauty for Freedom, so she enlists Bethenny’s help – or at least, her commentary – in the effort. They meet out shopping, where Bethenny is more concerned with the “gigantic apartment” in SoHo she’s just purchased, which is 2,000 square feet larger than her current pad. She’s good at flipping properties, she says. And she’d like you to watch her real estate spinoff, please. She’s not good at forgiving Ramona, however, and has no plans of doing so. Though she does vow to be cordial when they’re forced together at social functions.

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Across town, Ramona Singer is shopping with Avery, who plays world weary therapist to Ramona’s psychotic delusions. When Ramona basically bemoans Why doesn’t Bethenny liiiiiiike me? I tried to ask her weird backhanded questions about friendship!?!? Avery’s like, uh – talk like a normal person, maybe? But Ramona just looks confused (and weirdly disheveled). If Avery doesn’t know by now that common sense and rational logic do not compute in Mama Singer’s addled brain, she’s in for a lifetime of struggle.

Ramona.Singer.Store.Sad.RHONY

Luann and Sonja are at lunch also discussing The Ramona Problem. Ramona still doesn’t understand why bringing Bethenny’s daughter into a sneak attack shaming session is an issue. Both women decide the basic assessment is as follows: Ramona has no clue. And I must say, when Sonja Morgan is “getting it” more than you – well, it’s time to take a deep seat and reflect on your insight capabilities. The maven of thong bidet laundering on camera is calling your mental ice brown, dear. And that’s just tragic.

The Real Housewives Of New York Recap: Bidding On Love

Speaking of tragic, Tinsley has decided that going to Beautique with Ramona and Sonja will be good for her social image. Immediately upon sidling up to the bar, Ramona orders three separate drinks for herself – which shall hereby be dubbed boilermaker, troublemaker, and instigator in honor of the three single gals on the prowl. Tinsley is all positive vibes and free love, sidling up to a 23-year old baby-man and taking an instant shine to him. So. Let the sh*tshow begin!

Tinsley.Mortimer.HeadBack.Party.RHONY

Ramona’s role: Love coach, circa 1959, who advises Tinsley to suck from a straw whilst smiling and batting her eyelashes at the young gentlemen. Also, the opening line of “Hey, how’s your life goin?” seems to do the trick, according to Ramona. Sonja’s role: Being a jealous raving lunatic who keeps shouting “He’s not on your LIST!” to discourage Tinsley from snagging her a young buck for the night. (Is Sonja just trying to stop Tinsley from making her signature move? SHE’s the straw that stirs the underage drink!)

Ramona has the good sense to back off of Tinsley’s boy toy once she senses real interest (however misguided), while Sonja inserts herself smack in the middle of it, eventually urging Tinsley to just get in the car and GO! But Tinsley’s not having it. Tonight, she is having Chad – right here in Beautique, it looks like! But not in Sonja’s daughter’s bedroom, at least.

Sonja.Morgan.PinkSweater.Glass.RHONY

The next morning at Morgan Manor is awkward, mostly because Sonja accuses Tinsley of turning her precious heat on, but also because Tinsley came home suspiciously late last night. Sonja knows a girl has to blow off a little steam now and then, but she reminds Tinsley that the list – THE LIST! – is king. Plus, she stands before Tinsley as a living, breathing cautionary tale every damn day. So, take heed girl, or you too may be stealing Equal packets out of plastic diner bins well into your dotage.

Bethenny.Frankel.Dennis.Shields.Kiss.RHONY

Bethenny is attending a Dress For Success annual breakfast as a spokesperson, where she gives us a glimpse of then-boyfriend, Dennis Shields. Bethenny met Dennis years ago as her friend’s boyfriend, then got together with him after he broke up with his wife (though there’s much debate about that timing among this group – and online). Carole shows up – on time – to support her friend, who gives an emotional speech about the charity’s mission for women in crisis. Carole thinks the drama with Bethenny’s ex comes to the surface during times like these, but she’s glad to see Bethenny putting her name to worthwhile causes as a way to move through the pain.

At a local indoor rock climbing joint, Adam and Carole test their courage among Hipsters Who Hike. Adam is one of these hipsters, while Carole seems more concerned about breaking a hip. Screaming the entire way up the wall, Carole counts the moments until Adam moves out. She needs her space!!! But the apartment Adam was looking at is no longer available, so she’s got to make some room on that shredded couch for two. For now.

Carole.Radziwill.RockWall.Scared.RHONY

It looks like Chad of Beautique fame is not a one night wonder after all! Nay, he’s graduated to bowling buddy. But has he graduated college? As Tinsley and Chad knock down the pins – after Chad gets ID’d at the door! LOL! – Tinsley muses that she knows he’s not husband material. He does rock a good high school make out session, though. So, she’s down for the cause. But if she wants to bring Chad home for a grown girl sleepover, she’ll have to sneak him through the hole in Sonja’s drywall.

Meanwhile, Ramona’s on the prowl again, this time with a group of more age appropriate friends than Tinsley. Ramona complains about her “other” friends to the group, who are simply not good wing-women. But when she brings up Tom accidentally-on-purpose, Ramona’s friend Missy (who ALSO dated Tom) brings up some shady vague dirt that is still floating out there. She also confesses that Tom cheated on her WITH LUANN while she was dating Tom, insinuating that a leopard doesn’t change its spots.

I’m not sure whether this news is more disturbing because 1) It adds to Luann’s delusion that Tom is a changed man or 2) Ramona obviously orchestrated this entire scene to throw more shade on Tom. Things that make you go hmmmm…

Luann doesn’t care what anyone thinks though, for she is busy tittering on about her wedding to her daughter, Victoria! As far as she’s concerned, Ramona can take her new face all around town and say whatever she wants. She’ll be Mrs. D’Agostino in a month, come hell or high Pinot!

Dorinda is at her charity event Beauty for Freedom, which supports the fight against human trafficking. She and John greet Carole, who’s helped Dorinda wrangle donation items from all of the ladies and contributed some sweet swag herself. The auction looks great and Dorinda is excited about the money she hopes to raise. But it’s the drama that will take center stage when Bethenny and Tom come face to face – followed by Carole’s brush with a “friend” who has a few choice words about Luann’s man.

Tom.Dagostino.Luann.Delesseps.Bethenny.Frankel.Party.RHONY

As Sonja berates Tinsley for not paying enough attention to her, Bethenny and Carole make small talk with randoms – until Tom and Luann simply cannot be avoided. Ramona, however, can be avoided, and is! Bethenny has no desire to jump on the Ramonacoaster tonight, so she stays firmly planted on the ground.

After Luann thanks Bethenny for sticking up for her against Ramona’s wedding invite rant last week, Bethenny introduces herself to Tom and apologizes for causing him “any drama.” His response is, “So, what are you doing for the holidays?” And just like that, Tom shows how he and Luann are perfect partners in brushing things under the rug. A very tasteful and wildly expensive rug, one would assume.

After Dorinda gets the bidding started, Bethenny and Carole decide to become “charity whores” for the cause, flirting with as many men as possible to get their wallets out for a good cause. But there’s more than charity whoring going on here tonight, for a woman named Barbara has a lot to say about the man, the myth, the legend: Tom.

On a mic off camera (Carole’s), Barbara tells Carole that she’ll be attending Luann’s wedding, but is not very excited about it. Barbara claim Luann “has something to prove” and would “rather go through with it and get divorced” than call off the wedding. She also says there’s a groundswell of current rumors that Tom still slinks around the Regency in dark corners doing dark deeds like this one…

Tom.Dagostino.Cheating.PhonePic.RHONY

When Carole asks if Barbara has told Luann any of this sh*t about the Regency rumors, she says yes, but Luann doesn’t care! “I think she’s making the biggest mistake of her life,” cautions Barbara. It’s worth noting that several news outlets posted stories of Barbara suing to have her comments on this episode suppressed, as she claims she didn’t know she was being recorded. The suit was denied, however. And here we are. Back in the toilet bowl.

Carole thinks Luann is “the great pretender,” and likely doesn’t care what the hell Tom does – as long as she gets to that altar with him. But when Luann sees this footage, one has to wonder how that might change things, as least in the public perception of Tom’s recent redemption tour? For example, a mysterious lawsuit might pop up out of nowhere. Just a thought.

TELL US: WHAT DO YOU THINK OF BARBARA’S COMMENTS? IS LUANN ‘THE GREAT PRETENDER’? IS TINSLEY MAKING UNWISE DATING DECISIONS, OR SHOULD SONJA BACK OFF? 

Photo Credit: Bravo

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