Oh Teen Mom 2, whatever are we going to do without you? Last night we bid a ninety minute farewell to Leah Messer
Sims Calvert, Jenelle Evans, Kailyn Lowry, and Chelsea Houska, and MTV has yet to confirm whether they'll be back for more (please, no). While we'll be able to keep up with Jenelle thanks to her constant arrests and rehab stints, how will keep tabs on our other favorite whiny and entitled reality stars? What will become of Corey's camo hat? Will Kieffer Delp be successful in his pipe selling endeavors? So many unanswered questions–I can't bear the thought of it…
Of course, I jest. Last night, I cried when Corey cried, and I felt such pain for Barbara as she struggled with losing her daughter to heroin. I'm excited that Chelsea seems to be maturing–here's hoping she keeps up the good work. These girls need to stay out of the limelight, and I really need for Jenelle to get her life in order before she ends up dead. I can't imagine the only memories that Jace has of his mom being the same we've seen on the series.
The episode begins as Leah and Jeremy discuss Ali's big doctor's appointment over date night. Jeremy has taken time off from work so he can be with his wife as she deals with the stress of facing Ali's potential diagnosis.
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Have you noticed that Kailyn can't mention getting married to Javi without mentioning how awesome the military benefits will be for her and Isaac? She's planned a civil ceremony at the courthouse the following day, and Javi reveals that he could leave for basic training in as early as a week. Perfect timing, according to Kailyn! Javi is excited about this turn of events, and he insists that Kailyn help him pick out the perfect outfit for a casual groom.
Well, I need to be eating my words right about now. Chelsea is heading back to beauty school! She's chatting with her friend about returning to class the following day. Her hair is all one color and she's wearing the entire Wet-n-Wild eye make up line at once, but she doesn't seem to care that A-D-A-M is being extra douchey. Chelsea is making some major strides. I'll take it!
A pouty Jenelle is upset with her mom and Mike for barging into her house and confronting her and Kieffer about their drug use. She makes me want to scream. At Barbara's house, Mike and Barbara blame Jenelle's downward spiral on Kieffer. Neither can believe that she's now using heroin. Barbara wants to try to get Jenelle committed, citing that she's a danger to herself and others. She doesn't care if her daughter never speaks to her again–she just wants to save her life.
Could Ali be any more adorable? Leah, Jeremy, and Leah's mom take the trek with Ali to Ohio for her three day doctor's visit. Corey will be meeting them at the hospital the following day while his step-mom watches Aleeah. Leah admits that she's scared of the outcome, but she promises to be brave for her daughter. Ali will be fine…as long as she has her lip gloss.
It's wedding day for Javi and Kailyn, and Isaac is dressed to the nines for the big event. Javi's mom and friend will be joining the couple at the courthouse to serve as witnesses. Twenty minutes later, it's official! At one point, Javi's friend attempts to take a picture of the happy couple with Kailyn's iPhone only to be interrupted by a phone call from Jo. Awkward!
MTV should be ashamed of itself. A very high Kieffer and Jenelle are bitching about the "home invasion" that occurred when Barbara and Mike broke into their house and stole their heroin needles. Kieffer wishes he'd smashed Mike's face in, and he plans on pressing charges against Jenelle's mom and boyfriend. Oh please. Jenelle is resigned to the fact that she probably won't get to see Jace until the next time she goes to court, and a slurring Kieffer reminds her that he's never forced her to do drugs.
Maybe I spoke to soon about Chelsea. She oversleeps and won't be making it to class. She makes Aubree call her father to tell him the news because she knows he won't be able to get mad at her when faced with the cuteness that is his granddaughter. She's right! Chelsea promises her dad that she'll be back in school the following day.
Corey and his father arrive at the hospital, and he and Leah meet with the doctor to learn more about Ali's testing. Corey's eyes are already starting to tear up at the thought of his daughter being poked and prodded. There is an issue with Ali's nerves and muscles, but the doctor will be able to give them more information the next day. Corey's dad calls Aleeah on the phone, and the twins have a precious conversation. My heart is melting.
The newlyweds head out on the town to celebrate their wedding with Javi's brother and girlfriend. Kailyn reveals that she hasn't told Jo she's moving, although he does know they are thinking about marriage. She may not have mentioned that they'd already purchased the rings and would be hitched the next time they spoke. Semantics, right? Javi explains his potential training schedule, and his brother couldn't be more proud of his life choices.
Barbara heads to the detention center in hopes of getting an order to commit Jenelle. She calls Mike to tell him that the sheriff will be picking up Jenelle later in the day to take her to the hospital for drug testing and evaluation.
Back in Ohio, Corey and Leah learn that Ali will require a muscle biopsy, but they feel relieved to know that they are closer to learning her diagnosis.
Poor Chelsea can't catch a break. As she's getting ready for class, Aubree locks her out of her bedroom and goes back to sleep. Chelsea should never become a locksmith, that's for sure. She doesn't seem too concerned with the fact that her toddler is locked in a room as much as she is worried about being late for class. In fact, she seems to find the whole situation hilarious.
After missing a counseling session, Jo and Kailyn meet for dinner to continue to discuss their issues. Jo eloquently states that he's had a problem separating Kailyn from being his ex to being just another person in his life. Kailyn admits that she doesn't want to Javi in an uncomfortable position by being alone with Jo. Once she drops Javi's name, she breaks the news about her recent wedding. Jo handles the news like a champ, wishing her well. Kailyn brings up those pesky benefits again, and she seems extremely peeved that Jo doesn't seem to be upset by her bombshell.
After spending three hours being evaluated, Jenelle is released from the hospital. Not surprisingly, she is livid with Barbara, and Kieffer is all about pressing charges against his girlfriend's mom. She recaps her nightmarish time in the hospital. They took away her phone for almost three hours! The nerve! At least she was able to watch television for the duration. Gahhhh!
Over breakfast, Corey and Leah share the doctor's diagnosis with their parents and Jeremy. While they are glad that they may have an answer soon, Leah urges her loved ones not to google the disorder she may potentially have. Jeremy's dad plays cheerleader, and I'm so glad the twins have such a great support system.
Could it be that Chelsea is finally on her way to beauty school? She's dropping Aubree off at daycare, and she gets a call from the director of the school who is worried she isn't coming back. Oh. My. God. Like, she's totally, like, on her way, it's just that, ohmigod, Aubree locked her out of her bedroom to, like, go back to sleep. Curazee!
Javi learns that he will be shipping out to Texas for basic training in a matter of days. He will be gone for several months, and Kailyn kindly reminds him that he'll be missing Christmas, her birthday, and Isaac's birthday. She'll survive though…as long as she's got those military benefits!
Jenelle is driving her drugged out boyfriend to the Magistrate's office to press charges against Barbara. While she knows that it will likely keep her from seeing Jace for even longer, she agrees that Kieffer can't let her mom get away with her asinine behavior. Seriously, MTV? Shouldn't you be keeping a clearly effed up Jenelle from getting behind the wheel instead of perpetuating this ridiculous storyline? And, while we're at it, what's up with you, Oak Island detention center? I can smell the weed on Kieffer through my TV, and you just let him waltz in and press trespassing charges against Barbara and Mike? For shame.
Jo brings Isaac back home as Javi is packing for basic training. Javi is sad that Isaac is sleeping, and he cries as he puts his stepson to bed. Kailyn soothes Javi by telling him that Isaac will get to see him in the morning, and she prompts him to keep packing. She promises she'll cry too when he leaves.
Corey is trying to fight back his tears before Ali's muscle biopsy. He doesn't want his daughter to see how scared he is about her final test. Leah will be joining Ali in the operating room until she goes under, and Corey and Ali laugh at the get-up she has to wear. Once Ali is asleep, all the nervous parents can do is wait and cry. And I'm crying right with them. Damn you, MTV!
Chelsea and Aubree are baking a pie when her dad drops in to make sure she went back to school. He admits that he had his doubts, although he's very proud of his daughter's recent accomplishments. Chelsea knows she's doing so much better without A-D-A-M, and for the first time I believe her when she says she can't imagine ever getting back with him. Her father is ecstatic to hear this news.
Mike and Barbara are in shock that Kieffer is pressing charges against them. Barbara shares that the sheriff burst out laughing when he learned that Kieffer claims she was trespassing on property that isn't even his. Barbara breaks down to Mike (who looks like he may cry too). She can't believe that her daughter would allow Kieffer to do this when she works so hard to take care of Jace for Jenelle. Barbara now knows that she must wash her hands of Jenelle for Jace's sake, but she's devastated to think of what could happen to her. Back at Jenelle's house, she and Kieffer are stumbling and bumbling around trying to find some misplaced pain pills. Once Jenelle locates the Xanax, Kieffer tries to make out with her, although neither of them are lucid enough to form a complete sentence. It's sad and sick to watch.
Ali is doing well after her biopsy, and her parents are anxious to learn the results. Poor Ali is still groggy from the procedure, but she manages to high five the hospital staff on her way out to the car. Precious.
Isaac is tearing at Javi's heartstrings, and I'm getting even sadder watching Javi say good-bye to his family. He sobs as he hugs Kailyn and Isaac. What the hell, Teen Mom 2? This is what I've been reduced to…a blotchy faced, swollen eyed blogger thanks to these girls? The final moments show an incoherent Kieffer and Jenelle against a montage of Barbara playing with Jace. We see a happy and confident Chelsea enjoying her time with Aubree, and Leah and Jeremy arriving home.
Next week, Jenelle cries to Dr. Drew about her many hospital visits while Kailyn storms off when she doesn't like what he has to say.
TELL US-WHAT DID YOU THINK OF LAST NIGHT'S FINALE? WAS IT HARD FOR YOU TO WATCH?
[Photo Credit: MTV]