Sister Wives Recap: Meri’s Not So Merry Christmas

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What do you call Kody Brown making eighteen thousand walk-throughs of his new cul-de-sac compound?  Why last night's episode of Sister Wives of course!  Janelle, Christine, and Robyn are all set to move in, but poor Meri just can't seem to catch a break with the loan underwriters.  Shucks!

It's another walk through, and the homes are finally landscaped.  Christine gushes about her new kitchen, and Robyn teases that it sounds like Christine is describing the love of her life when waxing poetic about her appliances.  Sounds about right.  I'd prefer granite countertops to a flaxen haired polygamist wearing head-to-toe denim.  Christine is stressing about packing, and apparently she thinks her children will be motivated by copious amounts of baby talk.

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Robyn is especially excited about the move because she has never lived in the same vicinity as her sister wives and Kody.  She is hoping to legally change her last name to Brown so she can acquire her house in the name of Robyn Brown.  Robyn then plans to give Kody a copy of the deed in that name for Christmas.  Oh, Robyn.  You're putting the cart before the horse, hon.  You haven't even been approved for financing!

At Janelle's house, we learn that she and Kody have been sleeping on twin beds that are pushed together under a queen fitted sheet.  The couple decides that they will buy a new bedroom suite for Christmas.  Kody admits sometimes getting romantic with Janelle is "awkward."  Thanks for that.  They head to the furniture super store, and Kody calls the entire shopping situation "intimate" and "heartwarming."  Thanks again.  Apparently, he is not awkward getting romantic with Robyn, as on another walk-through, he's practically making out with her in front of the realtor and contractor.

In a family meeting, Christine is spearheading a movement to create a family mission statement.  This is a major cluster of chaos.  Janelle isn't a fan of all the input, and Kody says he's ready to stop being a fireman (he feels like he's constantly putting out fires with his wives and umpteen children) and wants to become an architect (building a solid family foundation).  While it's a wise little witticism, I can't help but think that if he were a fireman or an architect, at least he'd have a job.  What is it he does again?

On a yet another walk through with Meri, who is apparently both an architect and a contractor, Kody is getting annoyed at all of Meri's nit-picking.  One light fixture is hanging an eighteenth of an inch lower than another.  Her mantle isn't level…well, I mean, it is to the naked eye, but Meri is some kind of super human fault finder.  She learns from the realtor that she won't be in her home by Christmas as she just sent in her mortgage paperwork.  I wonder who Meri will blame for this bad news?  It certainly won't be her fault!

The realtor calls a meeting with Kody and his wives.  I bet this poor lady had no clue what she was getting into when she started working with this crew.  She reminds Meri that nothing has changed with her situation.  Janelle's documents are ready to sign immediately, so she will be in for Christmas.  Robyn's closing will happen the following day.  Christine is clear to close, but it may not happen before Christmas.  Meri begins sobbing uncontrollably, and she seems to be getting more comfort from Robyn than the Kode-ster.

Kody is excited about his walk through with Janelle because she's no where near as picky as Meri.   Janelle is extremely excited for their kids, as their son Hunter is thrilled to move in after being originally so opposed to the Las Vegas move.  The contractor then drops his knowledge on the whole "interesting" experience, and he couldn't be more correct.  He says Kody acts differently with each wife.  With Janelle, he's serious; with Christine, he's joking; with Meri, he's accommodating (and it doesn't seem that he often agrees with her), and with Robyn, he's still in the honeymoon phase.  Mr. Contractor, you nailed it!  Get it?  Nailed it?  He's a contractor, so he uses a hammer and nails?  Anyone?  Crickets…

The following day, Kody and Janelle get their keys, and they plan to spend their first night in the home.  They plan to celebrate with a family celebrating the birthday of the founder of their church with a big dinner.  Kody has some extra cash on hand so he's able to pick up the bed frame along with the mattress for he and Janelle.  He hopes she'll be happy with the surprise.  The whole family is helping Janelle move in the basics, and the bitter apple doesn't fall far from the tree as far as Meri and daughter Mariah are concerned.  Mariah wants to slap the mortgage underwriters in the face for not having her mom's paperwork approved.

I'll be honest, it's sweet to see how excited the kids are at the thought of the new homes.  Kody surprises Janelle with the new bed, and he's overjoyed at her reaction.  He can't wait to spend their first night in their new home…in their new bed.   You can stop right there, Kody.  Downstairs, Christine surprises all of the children with some heartfelt craftiness regarding each child's name.

Meri is frustrated about being in limbo, but she's oh so super happy for her fellow sister wives.  Yeah, I believe her.  Robyn is also peeved because she is trying to pack her kids so they can go visit their dad for the holidays.  However, Robyn perks up at the news that she will be getting her keys before she and Kody head out on the sixteen hour drive to drop off her children.  The kids get to see their home for the first time before trekking to Montana.  The realtor also shares that Christine has also gotten her keys, so Kody has to stick around a bit to celebrate with his other wife.  Kody is appreciative of Robyn for allowing him to support his other wives equally.  Awww.  More brownie points for Robyn!

TELL US-WHAT DID YOU THINK OF LAST NIGHT'S EPISODE?  ARE YOU GLAD THEY ARE FINALLY IN THEIR NEW HOMES?

[Photo Credit: TLC]

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