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A word of advice to every cast member of Vanderpump Rules: Stop with the day drinking, already! As we saw on this week’s installment of VPR, Stassi Schroeder would benefit greatly from a clear head when facing her imaginary rivals at surprise-not-surprise parties far and wide. And, according to Stassi’s commentary on last night’s episode – she agrees!

“Lesson 1: don’t agree to go up to ppl to ‘talk’ after 6 hours of drinking in the sun,” tweeted Stassi last night after witnessing her sloppy behavior on camera, adding, “Lesson 2: be fake so that I get a good edit.” So, which is it: drunk or fake? I’ll put my money on both!

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Stassi even went as far as (maybe?) apologizing for her behavior on screen, tweeting, “Been crying for over an hour. I’m sorry for how this played out tonight.” After being berated all night long on social media, Stassi followed up with a self-pitying cry for help: “Suicidal thanks to you tweeters. Please stop.”

Ah, it was only a matter of time before Stassi turned from contrite apologies to petulant lashing out, heh? That’s the girl we know! After attacking Scheana Marie Shay for playing nice with arch nemesis Lala Kent, Stassi apparently got attacked pretty hard herself on social media. It’s called karma. Google it.

“I thought I was thick skinned & tough. I’m not. I’m having a mental/emotional/everything breakdown. Please everyone stop,” Stassi finally implored early this morning after what can only be assumed as a twitter War Of The Worlds took place all night.

Katie Maloney, however, doesn’t see much – if anything – wrong with her behavior of late! In fact, she cryptically defends that there are “secrets” she can’t share on camera, and that it’s these secrets that she delusionally thinks will vindicate her in the end.

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“Keep hoping my truth will be told buuuttt guess that’s in a trash can somewhere,” tweeted Katie last night after the episode aired. When a fan reached out to Katie to ask her why she couldn’t reveal this “truth” on camera and stop eternally whining, Katie responded, “I can’t actually…. wish I could. But I’m being sacrificed while others are being protected.”

She’s being SACRIFICED, y’all! (To the gods of pre-middle aged delusions of stardom?!) Whatever the case may be, Katie clearly thinks there’s something we should all know – but don’t. Which, in her mind, would make us all totally understand her immature antics this season. But to me, just makes her even more infuriating.

In her classic Go-Suck-A-D-ck! manner, Kristen Doute chimed in on social media too. Her message was a little, um, more direct: “Everyone calm the f–k down. You are watching it on a TV show, you didn’t live it. Stop calling us bullies while you troll on social media,” she tweeted.

Thus, the “mean girls” of this season have spoken! And it seems they are scrambling to defend themselves as best they know how – in 140 characters each.

TELL US: ARE STASSI, KRISTEN, AND KATIE ACTING LIKE MEAN GIRLS? IS THERE A ‘SECRET’ THAT’S FUELING THEIR RAGE AGAINST LALA AND, BY EXTENSION, SCHEANA? 

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