Brandi Redmond doesn’t seem to want to take the high road in her feud with LeeAnne Locken. The dueling divas from Real Housewives of Dallas took center stage at Cary Dueber’s Copenhagen caravan as well as Stephanie Hollman’s college mixer.
With D’Andra Simmons as her new ride or die, Brandi takes great offense to Kameron Westcott’s blind loyalty to LeeAnne. RHOD is one of my favorite Housewives franchises (don’t judge me!), but I prefer Brandi and Stephanie’s fun antics and disregard for Dallas society’s rules. This beef with LeeAnne isn’t a good look on Brandi. She’s doing a good job of making her nemesis look far less crazed than seasons past!
If the Real Housewives of New Jersey haven’t been banned from the fly-over states, it’s a corn shucking miracle! Poor Oklahoma is still dealing with the weaves and wackiness from last week’s episode as the ladies head off to a tense dinner. Margaret Josephs is happy to hear that Teresa Giudice and Melissa Gorga seemed to have smoothed over their argument…although Tre is unaware of how riled up Joe Gorga is after hearing Melissa’s rehash of the nasty breakfast. At the restaurant, Jennifer Aydin is talking about her ginormous house. She has to have an extra “wife” to cook and clean her seven bedroom house. She even has cameras in every room and she does random bag checks before the nanny heads out for the evening. Jackie Goldschneider finds it frighteningly hilarious that Jennifer trusts the nanny with her children but not with her collection of Chanel.
To change the subject, Margaret enlists the ladies in a game of two truths and a lie. Her statements: she used to fool around with her high school gym teacher, she’s only done cocaine once, and her ex-husband used to lock her in a closet when she made him angry. The women are surprised to hear her lie was the gym teacher. They can’t imagine feisty Margaret putting up with that in her marriage. No one believes Dolores Catania when she states she had sex with her ex-husband/roommate Frank Catania last week. Jennifer goes for shock value with tales of playing the submissive to her bestie’s dominatrix, getting a butt lift, and pooping herself in traffic. She was lying about the butt lift. Jennifer was wild before she met her ultra-conservative husband.
Today I am thankful for witnessing the most awkward, fish-out-of-water weekend getaway in the history of Bravo. I was hoping for a Real Housewives of New Jersey crossover with Sweet Home. All I got was the preemptive simmer of a Teresa Giudice/Melissa Gorga meltdown. However, I am so grateful for last night’s RHONJ episode, and all the wind that wound their weaves. Happy Thanksgiving, y’all!
The ladies are prepping for their southern safari with the requisite amount of leopard print and rhinestones. Margaret Josephs is thrilled to work on her Hospital Heroes children’s hospital gown line with her longtime friend Polly. Teresa calls her brother Joe Gorga asks him to spend time with the amazing Giacinto Gorga, aka Nonno, while she and Melissa are out of town. Joe is frustrated with his sister’s directives. He’s far too busy with work. He urges a reluctant Melissa to go stand up to Tre in his absence. She doesn’t want to get in between the siblings. She’s been there, done that, bought the t-shirt, and has the stripper rumors to boot!
After the drama in the Med, I am more than ready for the Stud of the Sea. Captain Lee Rosbach can do no wrong, and he’s returning with the queen of RBF, Kate Chastain. The phenomenal oceanic duo is joined by a crew of newbies, and the sexual tension on the new season of Below Deck is off the charts. If tonight’s premiere is any indication, it’s going to be a raunchy romp. Perhaps the charter guests should bring a black light…
Moral compasses aside, the ladies are making their best efforts to get along on tonight’s Real Housewives of Orange County. In the wake of Gina Kirschenheiter’s divorce announcement, Vicki Gunvalson is still spewing her “stay married” advice. However, this time it’s poor Steve Lodge who is the captive audience. She really tries to work marriage into about every conversation with this man, doesn’t she? The best part of this story is that her holier than thou conversation happens at a biker bar after an afternoon of riding a motorcycle with her man. Talk about a fish out of water!
Meanwhile in the OC, Emily Simpson admits that she loves living so close to her in-laws. Not only does her pocket MIL provide wonderful insight, but she’s a damn good babysitter, too! Speaking of babies, Emily has a tragic past with pregnancies which is what ultimately led her sister to be a surrogate for her and Shane. With nine viable embryos still on ice with her doctor, she is eager to give her own daughter a sister close in age. The only snag in her plan? Shane isn’t on board for another child…yet.
When I’m wrong, I say I’m wrong (kudos to anyone who remembers who said that movie quote!), and I was wrong. At the beginning of this season of Real Housewives of Orange County, I didn’t have time to invest in the new cast members. The OGs (and then some) have enough drama. Why did Bravo bring in new ladies to interact with the hypocritical harpies who need an orthopedic boot to fit into their mean girls group?
That said, I’m reformed. I now enjoy Emily Simpson and Gina Kirschenheiter. They are a refreshing backdrop to Shannon Beador’s insecurities, Kelly Dodd’s tantrums, Vicki Gunvalson’s delusions, and Tamra Judge’s judginess (that’s not technically a word, but work with me). Could this group of many-times divorced ladies relate to or show an ounce of concern for Gina as she navigates a path that most of these broads could walk in the pitch black dark? Why do they want her to stay married when they didn’t? Should she be made to share her soul’s secrets with women who are trying their hardest to force nature’s hand with injections when they are likely the age of her mother? I don’t think so. You know who agrees with me? Newbie Emily. **
I know folks are torn as to whether the Real Housewives of Dallas lives up to the rest of the franchise. I’m here to tell you that it does. The most pure and ridiculous friendship ever lived out on Bravo belongs to Brandi Redmond and Stephanie Hollman. Cary Deuber’s look changes so often, she may as well be a chameleon. Kameron Wescott is the real life version of a nice(r) Regina George if Regina George was friends with Cher on Clueless. And LeeAnne Locken. The carnival. Enough said. To say I’m enjoying this season so far would be an understatement.
And speaking of Clueless, this past episode had me thinking of one iconic quote. “My plastic surgeon doesn’t want me doing any activity where balls fly at my nose…” “Well, there goes your social life!” Ladies and gents, the RHOD girls were super stressed about fake testicles, and it caused all kinds of drama.
After last Monday’s holiday hiatus, the Real Housewives of Orange County are back tonight with a vengeance. The PGA of drama ends with a hole in one of obscenities thanks to a fretful Shannon Beador, and the craziness bleeds over into a party hosted by Tamra Judge to celebrate husband Eddie’s birthday. Vicki Gunvalson sees first hand the daily grind facing Gina Kirschenheiter due to her absentee husband, and, speaking of husbands, Tamra annoys the boredom out of normally even keeled Steve when pushing for a Vicki proposal.
Emily Simpson’s husband Shane is once again at the center of the controversy over that casino night situation with Gina Kirschenheiter that happened what seems like eons ago. However, it’s not Gina who takes issue with the poker pooper. Instead, she is crying on Emily’s shoulder about her own marriage woes while Kelly Dodd’s cougar claws come out to take aim at Shane. I swear, we can’t take these ladies anywhere!