You guys Lisa Rinna has to talk about something. She reallyreallyreallyreally has to get something off her chest, clear the air, and discuss this reallyreallyreally important thing that’s been weighing heavily on her and like bothering her lately and she just really has to put it out there and like f–king own it. So the ladies of Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills flew across the world to deal with the diarrhea of Lipsa’s giant lips.
But seriously – what the hell was going on last night?! They’re in Dubai, so it’s already another world, but this quickly became Alice falling down the rabbit hole. Except in this case, it’s actually all of us falling down the giant gaping hole of Lipsa’s mouth, which is directly linked her to her giant gaping makes no sense (OMG WHY IS ERIKA GIRARDI‘S BRAID A GIANT CATERPILLAR EATING HER HEAD IN THE DESERT) thought process. I’d blame hookahs, but um… well she brought the crazy with her from California. I hope it isn’t catching. Like Lyme!
Last night’s Dance Moms brought the drama, but Abby Lee Miller managed to stay slightly above the fray. You know that means it’s bad! As the episode begins, Abby is as unhinged as ever as she lectures the mothers on not respecting how busy she is as Ashlee lobbies for a pyramid to prove to the other moms that Brynn is worthy of the ALDC jacket. She’s still fuming that the team refuses to accept her daughter as its newest member, and I’m fuming that I get riled up and forget this a scripted mess.
At the studio, JoJo inquires to the whereabouts of Ashlee’s friends, and Ashlee retorts that she has no friends. Meanwhile, Melissa drives her daughters to practice, and Maddie admits that she love Brynn, but her addition to the team was awkward thanks to the mothers. MacKenzie chimes in to say how sad it was that the moms accused Brynn’s win of being rigged, and Melissa quickly shuts her down. “We don’t say that word.”
The tabloids had a field day when Hank was exposed for cheating on his wife, who was pregnant with the pair’s second child, during a drug fueled affair with a transgender model. After some very public ups and downs, Kendra is determined to stand by her husband and be open about the situation with their two children, six-year-old Hank, IV and two year old daughter Alijah. Wait, what? Yes, you read that correctly. Kendra is explaining all about daddy’s uh ohs and boo-boos to two kids who should be allowed to discover this drama the old fashioned way…by accidentally coming across it while surfing on the Internet at least a decade from now…you know, just like how all other reality stars’ kids learn about their parents’ sordid pasts! But that Kendra, she’s a free spirit, and she wants an open dialogue. Is is just me or should an open dialogue with kids this age be more about the tooth fairy and less about their father’s infidelities. Call me old-fashioned…
The avid baker and reality star explained why she took on this new role. “New Jerseyans are deeply rooted family. I was born here, spent my entire life here and have raised my own children here. My family inspires me in everything I do especially when it comes to my business choices, which is why I’m proud to have partnered with Pala Interactive on PalaBingoUSA.com. They have developed a real, true community built around the fun and excitement of bingo. I’ve always had fond memories of playing bingo with my family and friends; so when Pala approached me with this opportunity, it made sense to work with them on this exciting new online experience.”
Viewers were left hanging… until now… maybe. According to an “insider,” which is always a take it or leave it situation, Bethenny suffered from uterine fibroid tumors. “Bethenny had to have fibroids removed because of concern it wasn’t taken out, she would develop cancer,” the source said. “Surgery was supposed to be very easy, but Bethenny did suffer from excessive bleeding afterward.”
Ariana Madix has had a weird season on Vanderpump Rules and I’m sure she’s glad to put this one behind her and hopefully move on to better one next time. She shared her thoughts on part 2 of the reunion – including her current friendship status with Scheana Marie, why she thinks Stassi Schroeder came back to the show and more.
On why Ariana feels this cast is so toxic, “The poisonous gossip that occurs regularly within this group of people will suck your soul dry if you let it. Gossip and feeding off of other people’s shortcomings is an addictive thing, but it makes me feel horrible about the life I’m living. I’ve been a witness to it, a participant in it, and a victim of it. It feels like an endless cycle of hurting and forgiving each other.”
Words cannot express how excited we are for Real Housewives of Dallas. In less than two weeks, we finally get to meet the new cast, Cary Deuber, Brandi Redmond, Stephanie Hollman, LeeAnne Locken, and Tiffany Hendra, and find out if Bravo will actually deliver the “glamorous galas, scintillating scandals, and enormous egos” they promised us. It can’t be worse than Potomac, right?!
While we wait as patiently as possible, let’s analyze Brandi, Tiffany, LeeAnne, Cary, and Stephanie‘s taglines, which Bravo unveiled yesterday. My personal favorite: “I’m not a trophy wife, I’m a lifetime achievement award.” That belongs to Cary. Look below for all the Real Housewives of Dallas Season 1 taglines.