Remember when Danielle Mullins’ white binder of evihdunz was the most controversial thing happening on the 90 Day Fiance Tell All stage? Yeah, those days are gone. Because this year’s crew has pretty much topped out TLC’s hit show for deranged behavior, off-screen drama, and unhappily ever after endings. In real time, Colt Johnson has filed for divorce from Larissa Dos Santos Lima after her third (yes, THIRD) arrest for domestic battery. Jonathan Rivera and Fernanda Flores have split. And, it looks as if he fancies himself the next
D-list Bachelor. Poor Ashley Martson was admitted to the hospital this weekend after being found unresponsive in her apartment (sources report she’s doing better now) from complications of Lupus. We don’t know whether she and Jay Smith are even still together. Steven Frend and Olga Koshimbetova are officially “on” since her visa was approved in December. Eric Rosenbrook and Leida Margaretha continue to post troubling videos about Leida being “suicidal” on social media. Kalani Faagata and Asuelu Pulaa are having baby boy number two. And effing EVERYONE has a GoFundMe.
So…good times! But for our last installment of the season six Tell All, we’ll try to suspend disbelief and comment on the lunacy we saw last night. Because there was plenty to go around. Let’s link arms and stumble off the battlefield of this 90 Day Fiance season like the wounded soldiers we are. Viewers of 90 Day Fiance, I salute you! You deserve a medal.
Part 2 of the 90 Day Fiance Tell All for season six airs tonight. The battle between Larissa Dos Santos Lima and Fernanda Flores rages on. Fernanda and Larissa hurl insults at each other. They are backed up by soon-to-be ex-husbands, Colt Johnson and Jonathan Rivera. There are even a few “Housewives” style walk-offs.
At least we’re treated to a full-on traditional Samoan dance by our beloved Asuelu Pulaa at the end. This might wash away .001 percent of the grime we’re covered with after watching all of these couples act like fools for the past fourteen weeks.
Last night, Shaun Robinson attempted to tame the wild beasts of the Season 6 90 Day Fiance cast. Alas, only Asuelu Pulaa came out unscathed – although we can’t be totally sure about his boohole situation. As the entire motley crew sat down for their traditional Couples Tell All reunion special, one thing was apparent: Eric Rosenbrook and Leida Margaretha are still the absolute worst. No contest.
The reunion started off with intros all around, minus Colt Johnson and Larissa Dos Santos Lima, who decided to get there when they damn well felt like it! At least everyone else decided to show up for their ritual hazing, starting from left to right: Ashley Martson, Jay Smith, Kalani Faagata, Asuelu, Jonathan Rivera,Fernanda Flores, Eric, Leida, Steven Frend, and Olga Koshimbetova via Skype.
The season six Tell All of 90 Day Fiance is almost upon us, and so is a heaping helping of more lies coming from Jay Smith’s mouth. Tonight, it looks like Jay is put on the hot seat pretty much right out of the gate. Host Shaun Robinson asks him just what the eff he was thinking creating that Tinder account?
Ashley Martson argues that Jay never really committed himself to the marriage. Of course, Jay has plenty of excuses. At the top of the list: He just thought Tinder was a place to make “friends!” Aww, poor Jay. He’s just sitting around on the ole’ iPad and…BAM! He’s got twelve side chicks. It could happen to anyone.
Sigh. It seems like only yesterday that these mild-to-highly disturbed folks came into our lives, but alas, ‘tis time to say goodbye! Before the six couples of 90 Day Fiance: Before The 90 Days float on down the rancid river of their bad decisions forever, we at least get one final rumble on a very tiny couch, complete with Angela popping off on Rachel while two grown men physically restrain her. And really, what more could we ask for?
Last night, Shaun Robinson hosted the 90 Day version of a TLC reunion, known as The Couples Tell All, in which the American fiances come together (plus Jesse, who would attend the opening of an envelope if it meant more screen time) to talk to their Skyped-in lovahs. At each Tell All, we are promised updates on the couples’ plans since we’ve seen them last. But what we actually get at these twisted shindigs is OH SO much more.
Even though each and every cast member of 90 Day Fiance: Before The 90 Days could single-handedly bring enough dramatic trash TV to carry an entire season, tonight we’re in for a real treat. Because the Couples Tell All reunion is here!
And you know what that means: The entire cast is about to be crammed on to one tiny couch to claw each other’s eyes out in the name of love and fodderhood. Plus, their partners in crime are all set to Skype in via large screen TV to fight with them through the magic of broadband, with only Shaun Robinson poised betwixt them to control the chaos. Or maybe just gawk at it?
Saturday night, I witnessed Bradley Cooper shine in A Star Is Born, but last night I truly witnessed the best actor in a lead dramatic role when Ricky pretended he was something other than a world class scumbag. Ah, 90 Day Fiance Before The 90 Days, what are we gonna do without ya? Season two has been a rare gift of carefully curated dysfunction, the likes of which we may never see again – until regular 90 Day Fiance (season 6) starts up in two weeks. YAY!
Before we get to Ricky’s hot mess, a hop across the pond is in order. Rachel, Jon, and Lucy are playing “happy family” at their cottage rental as Rachel silently seethes over girlfriends of Jon’s past. It seems she’s moved past her fears (for now) because it’s time to pick out wedding bands. And apparently, it’s also time to tell the unwitting jeweler, “We met on a karaoke app!” It’s also time for Jon to tell Rachel that he doesn’t want to wear a wedding ring! Umm, WHAT?
It’s the end of a long, dramatic journey for the six couples of this season’s 90 Day Fiance: Before The 90 Days, and tonight we’ll see just how much dignity can be scraped off of the floor before they decide to walk away and/or commit themselves to one another for
another paycheck life.
TLC’s previews are keeping tonight’s drama on strict lockdown, but we do see glimpses of what may befall our American-foreign lovebirds. As for the 7th(ish) couple, Marta and Daya, their relationship was basically dead on arrival, so let’s just allow them to RIP.