Ashley Borders

Southern Charm Savannah, oh how you’ve tried. We’ve almost wrapped the first season with this spin-off, and it wasn’t as well received as I would have anticipated. Don’t get me wrong, I like the crew as a whole, but there’s just not that much to watch. If Ashley Borders wasn’t creating stories in her head, playing the victim, and managing to strip at any given time, we’d just be watching a group of wealthy thirty-somethings with a penchant for partying. Been there, seen that.

Last night’s episode begins with a trip to St. Simons Island. Jealous! Much to Hannah Pearson’s dismay, Louis Oswald is planning the ultimate tailgate at Hannah’s father’s house in St. Simons for the Florida/Georgia game. Being the most clueless boyfriend on the planet, he’s included Ashley on the guest list. Ashley is driving Nelson to the South’s biggest cocktail party while complaining that Hannah has a dress company and didn’t think to consult her about it. The nerve! Hannah feels awkward arriving at her family’s beach house. Since her dad married a woman close to her age, it doesn’t have the same memories as it does now. However, Louis has promised to be the host with the most alongside his potential future father-in-law. So he forgot the oysters–big deal. Louis wonders why this party has to be some reception-grade event on Hannah’s radar. What’s wrong with Natty Lite and some Fritos? When game time rolls around, there are still streamers to be hung and tables to be assembled. Both tasks fall on Hannah and her dad. As Hannah nags Louis about his duties, he is confused as to what is wrong. Napkins taken out of plastic wrap? He’s got it. Ice in coolers? Check. What’s so hard? As Hannah micro-manages Louis, her step-sister-mother and father joke about his demise.