Is it just me, or is Southern Charm not as charming as it once was? The premise was great when these folks were in their twenties, but mid-thirties frat boys just aren’t as entertaining. Don’t get me wrong, I still adore the show, but I’m nostalgic for the good old days of bar hopping and bed-hopping when it was funny…not semi-pathetic. Maybe I’m just in a mood…
The drama of last week’s episode seems all but forgotten (if only that were true!) as the Charmers prepare for their day. Craig Conover’s ADD interferes with cleaning up after his party, and Kathryn Dennis is getting a spray tan that will no doubt look completely natural. Speaking of natural, nothing looks more normal than Patricia Altschul’s butler Michael pulling her Bentley through the Mac Donald’s drive-thru. She’s craving a cheeseburger with no
ketchup tomato. She reveals that her guiltiest pleasures are Mickey D’s, Costco hot dogs, and Taco Bell tacos. In fact, Patricia prefers her fast food to the finest French cuisine. She nibbles on her number one in the backseat with a cloth napkin (not paper!) and glass of Cabernet while Michael toodles her around Charleston. What a life!
After many seasons of loyalty, Southern Charm cast members Kathryn Dennis and Danni Baird are experiencing some tension. They got into it during a girls trip and then again at Craig Conover’s sewing party. They still haven’t made up and now Danni is confiding in Eliza Limehouse, of all people.
On tonight’s Southern Charm episode, Danni reveals that she sent Kathryn a text that said “You just spit on our friendship. I hope it felt good.” She. Is. Not. Playing.
So last night’s episode of Southern Charm began right where last week’s ended…with Kathryn Dennis embroiled in a confrontational conversation with friends Danni Baird, Naomie Olindo, Cameran Eubanks, and Chelsea Meissner at a tree house dinner party in which the only alcohol available to numb the awkwardness is a one not often willingly consumed by folks who didn’t buy it with a fake ID. Good times! Cameran is choking it down though because it’s that kind of tension.
Danni requests a one-on-one with Kathryn by the bonfire. The rest of the group goes a-rootin’ tootin’ back to their respective tree houses, grateful for the reprieve. Danni is a really stellar friend, by the way. She delicately shares that the way Kathryn responds to things that she doesn’t want to hear hurts her feelings. She is unable to have a normal disagreement commonly shared among good friends, and instead, she shuts down completely. Just like she’s doing now when she doesn’t like what Danni has to say. No one knows the extent of Kathryn’s struggles, and no one can have an opinion on how she handles them. She feels embarrassed and betrayed by Danni.
Um, I get that Kathryn has trust issues larger than the loan on her Rolls-Royce, but she wouldn’t recognize someone legitimately caring about her if it smacked her in the face. Her issue with Danni seems less about trust and more about entitlement.
During Austen Kroll’s first season on Southern Charm, he was a golden boy. He was touted as a Shep Rose 2.0, but a better more respectful version. That image is out the window thanks to that threesome video they make sure to play in every episode this season. Last season, his positive image started to disintegrate when ex-girlfriend Chelsea Meissner started to dish on their relationship. Among other things, she revealed that she paid the bill for pretty much everything.
The viewers started to feel a little bad for Austen when his girlfriend Madison LeCroy slid into Danni Baird’s then-boyfriend’s DM’s (via a third party). Then, he fell from grace again when Chelsea told Shep that Austen was talking shit behind her back.
There are many perks that come with being a reality TV star. You get fame, money, sponsored Instagram posts, podcasts, and an ongoing list of benefits. However, there are also plenty of drawbacks. A lot of reality stars bleed out for their shows, sacrificing any semblance of privacy.
Somehow, Cameran Eubanks managed to work out the ideal situation. We see pretty much nothing about her personal life on Southern Charm. Usually, her storyline is providing commentary about other people’s drama. this makes sense since she is the show’s narrator. Here and there, she discusses the difficulties of balancing her new life as a mother. Nevertheless, her life is never on display. The same can’t be said for Shep Rose. We see the good, the bad, and the ugly when it comes to his life. He’s even the victim of some shady editing. During one recent episode, the subtitle “Shep’s girlfriend of the week” actually appeared on the screen. We see a lot of Shep Rose.
Southern Charm is all about hooking up and hanging out. The cast seems to do little else aside from going to restaurants serving up cholesterol-laden food, drink, and gossip. And when the cast is not drinking or gossiping, they are looking for love. Often in all the wrong places. Like in a threesome video ala Austen Kroll. Or with men old enough to be their fathers, like Kathryn Dennis. Or at bar time with the sorority girl of the moment–yes, that would be you, Shep Rose!
Southern Charm star Naomie Olindo, who was finally added as a full-time cast member this season, has also been a Charmer looking for love. She first joined the show as the girlfriend of Craig Conover. As Craig and Naomie were clearly ill-suited for one another, it was no surprise that their relationship imploded after a few years. Since splitting with Craig, Naomie has moved on to a serious relationship with Dr. Metul Shah. Naomie recently shared her thoughts about Metul, their future–and how Craig is reacting to her being in a new relationship.
So far, so good for Craig Conover. This season of Southern Charm is giving us #revisednewcraig. No longer embroiled in a contentious relationship with Naomie Olindo, he is Zen Craig. He got his groove back in the Bahamas and even launched a sewing business.
Look at Shep Rose. It will be a brief look. Shep still dresses like he’s going to a brotastic movie call back. And Shep might be a fan of double standards in relationships. Which leads us to Austen Kroll. Austen is the only one with a girlfriend. He and Madison LeCroy have been the subject of salacious scandals! But they can’t quit the
storyline drama. Zen Craig recently found himself adding to their storyline issues. He said there is a reason why he blew the whistle on Madison.
Last night we were treated to the first half of a tw0-part Southern Charm which answered A LOT of questions I never wanted nor needed to know. At all.
The charmers are getting ready for their day, and Patricia Altschul is concerned that her hairstylist is somewhat distracted. It seems Madison LeCroy has given Ms. Pat an unfortunate Kathryn Dennis-esque type poof. Whatever could be her issue? Only Austen Kroll knows for sure! Chelsea Meissner is the only one working, and some dude drops off a surfboard for Shep Rose prior to the aging frat boy’s haircut appointment.
Craig Conover’s penchant for laziness and lounging hungover in hoodies must be contagious because Austen has been afflicted. Over burritos and beer, Austen laments about the downfall of his relationship with Madison. He’s embarrassed to admit to his friends that he still in love with a girl who tried to slide into his friend’s boyfriend’s DMs. She seems so sweet and innocent given the fact that she’s only had three boyfriends in her lifetime. Craig teases that she probably had so few relationships because the rest of the guys never responded to her on Instagram. Craig has jokes!