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Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills - Teddi & Dorit

I started this season of Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills planning to keep an open mind, but the plotting is just so sloppy and transparent. And not the plotting Lisa Vanderpump is doing!

Teddi Mellencamp Arroyave has, by now, told about 15 renditions of her involvement/non-involvement in DogGate. In each version, she becomes increasingly naive and played for a fool. Also each time one of her versions doesn’t coincide with the revision, the other women conveniently brush it aside and double-down on the narrative that Teddi is the victim. Or Dorit Kemsley is. Really?

For instance tonight Teddi told her therapist she never spoke directly to Lisa about Doggate (Why are we still talking about this?!), then told Dorit and the other women that she was on a three-way call with Lisa and John Sessa which proves LVP is directly involved. Isn’t the  whole point of Teddi’s argument that LVP isn’t owning her part and wants to frame Teddi? Well, it sounds like Teddi is doing the same exact thing!

Teddi Mellencamp Arroyave On Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills

Tonight the axis of Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills officially shifts when Teddi Mellencamp Arroyave, a turtle of accountability, cements her very misplaced alliance with the rest of the cast against Lisa Vanderpump. All this over Dorit Kemsley (who has a deflated bank account to go with her droopy ethics and very drooping bikini tops) mistreating a dog and a friend.

I mean, when you (Teddi) are basing your rejection of a friendship based on said friend’s (LVP) possible collaboration in exposing a really shitty, contract violating, grifting, lying animal mistreating, a-hole, you probably need to reexamine your priorities in life and your version of morality. Just my opinion! But there goes Teddi throwing accountability to the wolves of Erika Girardi, Lisa Rinna, and Dorit. Girl… have fun with that til they turn back on you. 

Lisa Vanderpump, Kyle Richards, Dorit Kemsley - Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills

On last night’s Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills the dissecting of doggate and what LISA VANDERPUMP knows continued in full-force. I am just so over this storyline and this same old nonsense. Already I am Loosy Loosey Losty Attention for Lucy Lucy Apple Juice!

In other news Kyle Richards, the eight circle of hell, dropped another daughter off at college. Also Denise Richards decided to get married to Aaron Phypers approximately 10 minutes after his divorce from Nicollette Sheridan was finalized. Why is she not on this show?

Lisa Vanderpump

I think we’ve heard from almost everyone on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills regarding #puppygate. At this point, I reckon Lucy Lucy Apple Juice will implore the power of speech and issue a personal statement. The ladies have chosen sides and claim to have receipts in an effort to place blame on Lisa Vanderpump for inciting the saga.

While fingers have been pointing at LVP for outing Dorit Kemsley’s dog drama, Lisa is pointing back. Guess which finger she is using?

Kyle Richards

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills ladies took, what was supposed to be, a relaxing trip to the Bahamas. I think I’ve had more relaxing times in a dentist’s chair. Don’t they know vacation-fighting is so 2014?

There have been some theatrics surrounding Dorit Kemsley and a dog. You might have heard about it. Lines have been drawn and texts have been sent, but who is telling the truth about the origins of #puppygate? Kyle Richards dissects the latest episode and feels honesty is the best policy (stop laughing).

Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills - Denise Richards

When it comes to new Housewives on their freshmen season, we often see them have a really rough first reunion.  Sometimes, we see them come back for the next season, much better prepared. Other times, they just decide to throw in the towel and call it a day on the franchise.

It wouldn’t be easy to sit under the bright lights all day and answer questions from Andy Cohen. It would be even more difficult would to sit there as a brand new housewife getting attacked by some of the veterans.  However, it appears that some new housewives are taking notes! Denise Richards joined the new season of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills and is off to an interesting start thanks to what she thought was a relaxed and casual Bahamas trip. Basically, sipping margaritas on the beach in shorts and your swimsuit, right? Not so fast, Denise.

Dorit Kemsley - Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills

No one on Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills ever learns. Most of the cast never learns that it is simply not possible to take down Lisa Vanderpump. Sorry, I know your hopes are dashed harder than a broken botox needle, but this is the truth you must accept. You are all middle-aged, even if you’ve had six facelifts, and Lisa is not going to be toppled over defending Dorit Kemsley.

Likewise, Lisa Vanderpump never learns. She never learns that she can simply admit that yeah, she was trying to manipulate, and so what? After Lisa rendered them all impotent of storyline, she could toss a baggie of Viagra on the table, and saunter away; the ruffles on Lisa’s shiny satin blouse shaking as she tried to suppress her chuckles. After 7 seasons of the ‘Take Down LVP agenda’ she remains harder to conquer than the Viet Kong, even though the one tactic LVP has never tried is a strategic fake-out. 

Lisa Vanderpump
Lisa Vanderpump’s passions in real life make for good reality TV. She showcases her growing empire of restaurants and bars on Vanderpump Rules. So far on Season 9 of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, it’s Lisa’s passion for four-legged bitches that is putting the two-legged ones in a tizzy.
The season began with Kyle Richards and Teddi Mellencamp Arroyave stopping by Vanderpump Dogs for a quick chat with Lisa.   The visit took a dramatic turn when John Sessa, the executive director of the rescue center, asked Kyle, “Does this dog look familiar?”  This question kicked off #puppygate. Dorit Kemsley adopted Lucy before re-homing her to an unnamed third party. This person dumped Lucy in a shelter. Ultimately, the dog ended up back to Vanderpump Dogs. Lisa’s co-stars think she orchestrated the scene to punish Dorit in the court of public opinion while appearing to remain above the fray. This has caused a major rift between Lisa and the Beverly Hills Housewives.