Below Deck Season 7 will conclude tonight… with its last regular episode. They taped a reunion episode for next week and Below Deck Sailing Yacht premieres tonight. Basically, there’s a lot of drama on deck for the fans (pun intended).
Tonight’s episode begins where last week left off: Kevin Dobson made a penis cake for a primary charter guest who went to bed early after turning up quite a bit. Kate Chastain knew that the primary was out for the count, but purposely didn’t tell Kevin and the whole penis cake presentation, with Captain Lee Rosbach sitting there no less, was just so vicariously awkward to watch.
Last night’s Below Deck was certainly stiff with drama, wasn’t it!? Former ESPN host Jemele Hill came on board with a group of her girlfriends to celebrate her bachelorette party. They wanted smiling stewardesses, nonstop drinks, and a penis cake. Well they got everything, but the smiling stewardesses!
But first … le drama! With mere hours left before the new – famous! – charter guest arrives, Captain Lee Rosbach has to put all the naughty slumber-partying kids to bed with the threat of punishment. No dessert for a week! He storms to the aft deck like an enraged mommy woken from her slumber. The only thing he needed was curlers in his hair to complete the look, (pecs are the new curlers).
Kate Chastain slinks to her bed then bursts into sobs. Kate is beyond fed up with being taken advantage of by the men on this boat so good thing she only has 3 days left to go! The next morning the mood is tense and testy as Captain Lee calls the entire crew in for a meeting.
Do male scorpions sting? Or is it females? Or both? On Below Deck everyone is feeling stung, which is maybe why they’re also lashing out.
Rhylee Gerber was doing fairly well after her pep talk from Captain Lee Rosbach saved her from getting fired, but a few crispy scorpions (and dickish deckhands) proved to be her undoing. Poor Rhylee – this is the worst case of gaslighting ever!
But first — sexyThaitimes! Alexis Bellino is still dry-humping her way to heaven. The former Real Housewives Of Orange County star is on board to celebrate her divorce from Jim by begging her new boyfriend to propose. Remember when Jesus Barbie aspired to be nothing more than the perfect Christian wife, toting a blinged-out bible to prayer practice (which obviously took place while simultaneously spinning)? Well Alexis abandoned that in a Coto Mansion. New Alexis is more Eve who ate the apple right off Drew Bohn‘s tree. Sadly we had to witness the whole thing.
Kate Chastain has to be cringing watching these recent Below Deck episodes. During the last episode, she tried to get Tanner Sterback to sleep over in her room after the crew got back from a night out. Then, she drunkenly went into his room and tried to wake him to hook up, but he wasn’t budging.
But, will these two ever get further than that kiss they shared in the van. Last week, Tanner was all over that charter guest, who happened to be a chef, at the club. Before that, he puke and rallied before hooking up with second stew Simone Mashile, who happens to hate Kate.
On last night’s Below Deck there was a blast from the past when former Real Housewives of Orange County star Alexis Bellino was the charter guest. Guess who was nowhere to be found? JimBlob Bellino! Because Alexis was in Thailand to celebrate her divorce with new boyfriend Drew. Jesus Barbie take the wheel.
Also Rhylee Gerber did not get sacked! Despite Ashton Pienaar‘s attempted mutiny to have her fired, Captain Lee Rosbach saw through the BS to realize that Ashton needs to do his job as boson and work with his team.
Sadly for Rhylee not all victors get the spoils. Even though she kept her position the entire deck crew is now barely acknowledging her and keeping it at minimum civil. Plus Rhylee knows they all conspired to try and have her fired so even when they try to joke with her later she isn’t sure if it’s a dig or sincere sarcasm. But it has been well-established that all the men on this boat (except for Captain Lee) are complete and utter asses, and last night definitely reinforced it!
Tonight, Below Deck and Real Housewives of Orange County will merge. Former Orange County Housewife Alexis Bellino is a charter guest on the new episode. She and her new man Andy Bohn decided to charter a boat to celebrate her divorce from Jim Bellino.
Let’s just hope they don’t talk too much trash about Jim. They don’t want to end up in a legal mess like Tamra Judge and Shannon Beador.
This season of Below Deck is toxic in the extreme. Every single episode is like Game Of Thrones — with shammies and champagne. I need Xanax to even get through an episode of trying to figure out who’s the double-agent villain or the actual heroine.
I love Kate Chastain, and I cannot imagine enduring what’s happening on that boat with such a stiff upper lip, let alone rising above it, but I think we can all agree it was out of line for Kate to repeat to Rhylee Gerber that Ashton Pienaar blamed her for the fishing episode. Should Kate have spoken to Captain Lee Rosbach to disavow Ashton’s claims? Absolutely, but sharing it with Rhylee directly, when the situation is already so irascible, smacked of Kate wanting to enact some revenge. Ashton deserved it, but the fall guy (or girl) here is now Rhylee.