I’m not saying that Real Housewives of New Jersey is recycling old storylines and creating manufactured drama, but I’m not NOT going to say that. I guess it’s the curse of all of the long-running franchises, but sheesh! Joe Gorga, spend time with your dad. It will appease your sister Teresa Giudice. And she’ll go easier on your wife Melissa Gorga. However, what will become of your wife’s storyline if this happens? Also, newbies, stop trying so hard to be relevant. The pot stirring, the Chanel obsession, the article writing! Jackie Goldschneider and Jennifer Aydin are overachievers in this department. I guess they learned from watching the likes of Dolores Catania and Danielle Staub (except for the writing part). Exhausted, party of one here!
Back from Bimini, the women are easing back into their daily Jersey routines which includes coffee for Margaret Josephs and lots of screaming kids for the others. Dolores is still harping on ex-husband and roommate Frank Catania for omitting his whole “I got disbarred” conversation from their narrative. Across town, Jackie is lunching with Melissa who is stressing over the party she’s throwing for her son Joey’s first communion. Haven’t the Gorgas learned to keep their drama out of the church, especially where Joey is concerned? Jackie questions the status of Melissa and Tre’s relationship. Then, Melissa shares they two reconciled in Bimini. Jackie reveals that she’s sought the counsel of Dolores, but she’s not yet willing to extend the olive branch. Melissa hopes that Jackie will make her life easier by being the bigger person. Obviously, she knows she can’t count on Teresa for that!
On last night’s Real Housewives of New Jersey Danielle Staub finally got her happily ever after…at least for a few months. The ladies wake up to the beauty of Bimini, and Teresa Giudice and brother Joe Gorga are finally getting along and bonding over some dumbbells. How appropriate! Margaret Josephs and husband Joe Benigno are also in tropical bliss. Melissa Gorga has foregone the weights for tanning oil to prep for Danielle’s bride squad photo shoot. Everyone is still reeling from Danielle’s comments about soon-to-be husband’s Marty Cafferty’s children. Margaret warns Joe to tread lightly if the guys take Marty out for some pre-ceremony bro shenanigans. Teresa calls Dolores Catania who isn’t the least bit sad she’s not included in nemesis Danielle’s big day. After hearing the previous evening’s dinner drama, she wonders if Danielle will even make it down the aisle.
Danielle is micromanaging her photo shoot, and I feel terrible for her beautiful daughters. The former housewife is disappointed that her tribe of bridesmaids isn’t constantly at her beck and call. Marge is concerned about being a girl that loves cheese in a group of skinny Minnies, and Danielle is peeved when Margaret refuses to take off her lacy pants. Thankfully she’s distracted by her desire to have a Baywatch strut photo and begins screaming out orders for that.
Did Real Housewives of New Jersey’s cameras ruin the loving (and oh so brief) marriage between Danielle Staub and her ex, Marty Caffrey? Well, that is what Marty believes.
In case you blinked and missed it, Danielle and Marty married in May in the Bahamas. In August, the couple filed for, and eventually dropped, restraining orders against each other, and Danielle filed for divorce. Isn’t love grand?
Last night we received a small reprieve from all the Gorga in-fighting on Real Housewives of New Jersey While Teresa Giudice still carries resentment for her sister-in-law Melissa Gorga, she has honed on Melissa’s volunteer mouthpiece Jackie Goldschneider. In case you didn’t hear her the first fifteen times she said it, Jackie isn’t scared of Tre. Teresa isn’t without her own henchmen thanks to loyal Dolores Catania and Danielle Staub, whose diva demands are finally making the show watchable, IMHO. Margaret Josephs “can’t even” with the bridezilla, which sucks for her since she’s the Matron of Honor. I am digging on Marge, Junior this season, for sure!
Margaret is hosting a brunch on her Studio 54 set in hopes of bringing back those positive vibes from last season…or two seasons ago…or five…wait, she just wants croissants. Melissa and Jackie are stewing over Tre’s ridiculous claims that wives should control their husbands about all things non-penitentiary related. Tensions are running high as Teresa arrives. Dolores has her friend’s back, but she’s hoping for a drama-free event as she’s really enjoying Melissa these days. The women joke about Danielle’s stripper fueled journey to monogamy, and Dolores cringes over being in the same room with her nemesis.
It’s been a long time since anyone on Real Housewives of New Jersey really went head to head with Teresa Giudice. For the most part, the new Housewives have been afraid to take on the table-flipping OG cast member. Jackie Goldschneider is not one of them.
She is making her name on this show, calling Teresa out, and sharing her honest opinions. Teresa was all namaste post “camp,” but will the hothead we met during the early Real Housewives of New Jersey seasons return for tonight’s episode? It sure seems like it.