The Real Housewives of Dallas Season 4 reunion is approaching. Andy Cohen and the ladies gathered to relive the major moments from the season in New York City last week. The network hasn’t released one frame of footage, but they did share one super important detail: the seating chart.
We all expected LeeAnne Locken and D’Andra Simmons to be on opposite couches. They have been feuding for two seasons at this point, wearing us all out in the process. However, they did not wind up with the chairs next to Andy this year. My guess is that he was just sparing his ears from the inevitable shouting by sitting next to people who are more soft-spoken. Or maybe, just maybe, another feud eclipses the LeeAnne vs. D’Andra drama as the rest of Season 4 plays out.
You guys LeeAnne Locken is the most exhausting person I have ever encountered! I was literally so drained by her negativity and attention-seeking antics I had to lie down after last night’s episode of Real Housewives Of Dallas.
So everyone is in Thailand and addressing the L’Infinity Dress drama that will never end. Just like tales of woe from LeeAnne’s childhood, this dress and this saga have 1000 different reiterations and incarnations including that when LeeAnne was living at the carnival she was training gorillas. Girrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrllllllllllllllllllll….
How come in Season 1 and 2 LeeAnne was mostly raised by her grandparents after being abandoned by her mother but now she’s wrangling elephants in an RV? Little LeeAnne … literally raised by animals to be a feral child. I think there’s a famous book about that, turned into a couple Disney movies..
It’s been two weeks since the last Real Housewives of Dallas episode. When we left off, D’Andra Simmons and Kary Brittingham taunted LeeAnne Locken over her convertible dress. Brandi Redmond, Kameron Westcott, and Stephanie Hollman came to LeeAnne’s defense. However, LeeAnne offended a lot of people with her “Mexican” comments about Kary.
Let’s be honest: there is no chance in hell that D’Andra bought that dress with any intention other than to mock LeeAnne. However, LeeAnne’s comments about Kary were not OK.
Stop sleeping on The Real Housewives of Dallas. They might not bring in the monster ratings of other cities, but they bring oversize drama. There must be some truth to the adage about everything being bigger in Texas. Throughout the first few seasons most of the drama revolved around LeeAnne Locken & Brandi Redmond’s feud. However, they aren’t the only ones stirring up dirt this season.
Kameron Westcott & Stephanie Hollman CANNOT remain in a good place it seems. There have been so many accusations between the two. Kameron gets annoyed that Stephanie thinks she’s a surface friend. Stephanie doesn’t really care for how judgmental Kameron can be. It’s a mess in Dallas y’all. These women need in intervention to fix their growing issues. We won’t get that, but Kameron is opening up about her issues with Stephanie. OH BOY.
Last night the Real Housewives Of Dallas headed to Thailand where no amount of Buddhism, zen, or Xanax could mellow out their animosity towards each other.
Truthfully by the exemplary behavior of Stephanie Hollman and Kameron Westcott you’d never know they were ‘surface’ friends! On the 20-something hour travel day Kameron did it up right by handing out gold face masks and Xanax. Therefore no one even remembers being transported to the Thai future on Kameron’s magic pills. I really need to see this adventure animated in technicolor interspersed with the Baby Elephant song as sung by Steve Miller, with the Real Housewives Of Dallas as cult-y back-up singers for the chorus. I imagine it like Like Indiana Jones meets Scooby Doo meets Kameron’s Amazing Technicolor Dream Pajamas.
Everyone was on this wonderland trip except for D’Andra Simmons. She got drug-defying hot flashes as penance for mocking Mama Dee‘s age. And also took a flight sans underwear. BAARF.
After eons of travel the Real Housewives Of Dallas arrive in Thailand to help Travis Hollman rescue his father. It’s like Indian Jones. Orrrrrr not!
With Kameron Westcott and Stephanie Hollman scarcely speaking you’d think they’d be barely able to survive the trip without some major issues, but after Kameron reads up on the ground rules for proper decorum in Thailand they decide to just get along to go along. Which is a good thing because D’Andra Simmons has no such plans!
Last night’s Real Housewives Of Dallas was memorable for a couple of things. Like that Rodney Atkins can be rented for $75k and that Stephanie Hollman is so stinkin’ rich it’s totally affordable it to hire a country superstar to play while your friends get wasted in over-the-hill sorostitute Halloween costumes.
However, the most memorable thing that happened was learning that Mama Dee Simmons wears a wig. And not just one wig, but she has over 100 platinum blonde bullet shaped prosthetic hair caps. Are they mating? Does that make Dee’s wig room the biggest wig room on Bravo? Are some of them long-haired? Why is Dee not selling a wig collection on Christian television?
On tonight’s Real Housewives Of Dallas Travis Hollman celebrates his milestone entrance into middle age with two epic 50th birthday parties.
First Stephanie Hollman invites all their close friends and family to Medieval Times to watch Travis be crowned King of … The Over The Hill?