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Captain Lee

Rhylee Gerber Below deck

Ugh – The reign of Ryhlee Gerber has returned on Below Deck, and this is one kind of tyranny I’m not here for. It’s bad enough that the primary, Michael, was literally the creepiest grossest Lifetime Movie lecher of a charter guest there ever was.

Michael kept asking Simone Mashile to go shark hunting (was that some sort of double entendre I’m not getting?) but he should have asked our fishing boat captain Ryhlee. She could speared him and presented him to chef Kevin Dobson on a paleo platter.

Honestly bringing Rhylee back was just so hopelessly insincere. We all know Captain Lee Rosbach would never rehire someone who doesn’t respect her superiors or the chain of command, and the deflated way he defended his decision is all we need to know of his true feelings. With a heavy heart Ashton Pienaar accepts his burden to try and tame Rhylee from an attention-seeking lunatic to a competent deckhand. I mean I’m 100% positive they can find someone hard working (and hot) mid-season, but that person may not ruthlessly destroy a happy team of otherwise deckhands.

Rhylee Gerber

Ugh – I’m already tied of Rhylee Gerber and she hasn’t even been in one episode of this season’s Below Deck, but sadly for us all that is about to change! Literally even the preview has me drained of her drama.

As Brian de Saint Pern is dealing with his knee injury Captain Lee Rosbach calls Rhylee in just in time. Instead of rescuing the deckhands Rhylee proves to be an immediately toxic presence that pushes Ashton Pienaar almost to his breaking point.

Below Deck Captain Lee Rosbach

Simone Mashile lurked in the laundry room for most of the season on Below Deck.  Clearly, her service experience leaves much to be desired and Third Stew Courtney Skippon picked up the slack.  Since expressing a desire to better her skills, Chief Stew Kate Chastain gave Simone more services opportunities.

It’s not clear what inspired Simone to metaphorically leave the laundry room.  Perhaps it was the sexual allure of a certain deckhand named Tanner Sterback.  Maybe Simone is really thinking big picture about her career, though it’s clear that she is not ready to put in the work.

Kate Chastain Below Deck

It was party like it’s 1999 on last night’s Below Deck. 1999 being the year the charter guests graduated from Florida State’s School of Beerlegience. Aaahhh… reliving the glory days. Gross.

I don’t know why one would pay tens of thousands of dollars to charter a yacht in Thailand with the sole purpose of getting trashed, but then not have the decency to learn how to say “Let’s get lit!” in Thai. So gauche. And seriously these people yelled that approximately every 15 seconds. The mating call of over-the-hill frat boys everywhere!

The other problem is Smashton, aka the alter ego of Ashton Pienaar, the idea for which he stole from Joao Franco. And honestly, you never want to take any ideas from Joao. Smashton shoved his tongue down Kate Chastain‘s throat and that make Kate angry. And you won’t like Kate when she’s angry. 

Below Deck Deckhands

If we thought previous Below Deck guests came ready to party we haven’t seen anything until tonight’s Florida State University alums get on board Valor! Drunk and disorderly seem to be putting it nicely.

While Kate Chastain struggles to retain control of an unruly charter, she’s further challenged by Simone Mashile being distracted by a crush on Tanner Sterback. Simone already feels in over her head with service, and then is forced to handle an overly flirtatious attentions from a guest. 

Below Deck Captain Lee Rosbach

Watching Ashton Pienaar partying and flirting last season on Below Deck was significantly more entertaining than it is on Season 7.  Mainly because he had some willing participants to his answer his mating call. But, also, Ashton was not in a management position.  So if a crew member turned him down, it was still a level playing field.

As Bosun, Ashton made the inappropriate decision to try and hook up with deckhand Abbi Murphy initially.  Then Abbi left to marry her, “Greek f–k buddy,” Ashton has moved on to unwilling Second Stew Courtney Skippon mere hours after she went on a date with Brian de Saint Pern.  And the result could be described as sloppy at best.

Abbi Murphy Below Deck

Abbi Murphy didn’t fancy herself to be cut out for yachting life on Below Deck.  Maybe it was the amount of work required of the job.  Clearly, the uniform changes were an issue.  She seemed to be doing ok except for a few hiccups, but Abbi really psyched herself out and quit before things deteriorated further within the deck crew.

The truly amusing aspect of her departure, though, was Abbi’s anxiety about being asked to leave the boat.  Was she expecting to stay?  Where should she go?  What should she do?  Chief Stew Kate Chastain suggested getting to the airport, which seemed reasonable.  But Abbi continued feeling insecure about her literal next moves after Captain Lee Rosbach asked her to leave.

Abbi Murphy Leaves Below Deck

On last night’s Below Deck hair-brained deckhand Abbi Murphy up and left to sail off into her future. Actually it was more like she got dropped off at a random dock somewhere outside of Phuket with a “good luck” from Captain Lee Rosbach. Don’t double-cross this guy!

Mid-Charter Abbi starts having some sort of breakdown over the slide. Which has destroyed the soul of many a deckhand. At that moment, as if her massive red hair parted to reveal a message of clarity: it was time to leave Valor.

Ashton Pienaar is shocked, but probably also relieved. Babysitting Abbi all day was interfering with his ability to manage the rest of his team, but alas, they’ll be down a deckhand on a massive boat. Captain Lee is about the only one who seems upset, mainly because he envisions himself some sort of high seas professional development coach who can whip anyone and everyone into a yachtie.