The Real Housewives of Bevelry Hills cast takes a little trip tonight to Santa Barbara, California. The weird drama with Kyle Richards and Teddi Mellencamp vs. everyone else seems like it’s going to continue. During last week’s episode, Dorit Kemsley and Erika Jayne were over Kyle and Teddi’s clingy relationship. They even called them out for going to therapy sessions together.
On tonight’s episode, Teddi says to Dorit, “You just really dislike me and want to keep putting me down. Have your issues with me. Don’t have your issues with me and Kyle.” Oh, Teddi. Even when she’s in such distress, the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills still have trouble rooting for her.
There is a curious thing happening on Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills – The gaslighting of Kyle Richards. Also what is up with Teddi Mellencamp? Did fear of Lisa Rinna get her tongue?
First though I cannot even stop laughing at the ridiculousness of Dorit Kemsley with her Buca di Beppo dining room remodel and Dorit behaving as if she was asked to re-do Buckingham Palace.
It’s the best karma ever delivered to see Dorit and PeeeeKaaaay coming across like the grifting fools they are; all wide-eye and shining, believing Dorit is going to leverage a strip-mall dining room remodel into a career as the new Nick Alain. Of course they mentioned that Lisa Vanderpump would be threatened by them infringing on her territory by entering the restaurant business. Robert Earl, the owner of this erstwhile chain of phony Italian restaurants with their inflated prices and pretend ‘old country’ memorabilia, snarks that he’s sure the Vanderpump-Todds will wish them well.
Whew, you guys so much to discuss from last night’s Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills but unequivocally my favorite thing ever in this whole world is Denise Richards‘ “I’d like to talk to the manager…” face. Denise may be laid back and getting laid on the daily, but we saw what happens when you try to come for her.
If Kyle Richards believes bringing on Brandi Glanville to destroy Denise’s life (which is just SO GROSS on premise) will work, she’s wrong. I’m totally Team Fucking Denise Richards, and I think most viewers are too.
Also Kyle’s hair this season is just straight up karma! She looks like a matronly old bat from the 80’s attempting sex appeal. Whomever talked her into these messy topknots with teased bangs might be my hero. Reveal yourself – you deserve our praise!
Did Kyle Richards get herself into a Scheana situation by pissing off an editor? This season of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills is not a good look for her so far. And, no, I’m not just talking about the bangs. The comments that she’s made about Denise Richards‘ personal appearance were out of line. The glam-related fight with Dorit Kemsley is just a waste of time. This is not your season, girl.
Now, she’s calling out Denise on Twitter after Denise said her kids were asking questions about the threesome conversation they overheard at her party. Denise even discussed it with her daughter at lunch during last night’s episode. Truthfully, I’m surprised that someone with Denise and Charlie Sheen as parents is surprised to hear some (relatively tame) threesome chatter. I’m sure she’s heard way racier content at home.
I’m starting to think maybe Denise Richards doesn’t have the best taste in men. Don’t get me wrong, I love her, I really do. But after seeing her current husband, Aaron Phypers bonkers lecture on the latest episode of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, I’m starting to really wonder. In case you missed it, Aaron gave a very questionable speech on atoms and cancer at Kyle Richards‘ dinner party. As if that wasn’t strange enough, he then said people were following them as Denise tried (unsuccessfully) to shush him for their “safety”. Oof. If you haven’t watched, I highly recommend so you know what you’re dealing with this season. At the very least, read the recap.
But it’s not just Aaron that is out there. Remember Denise’s ex is none other than Charlie Sheen. And her ongoing drama with him was featured on the first episode of RHOBH this season. While out for drinks before Kyle’s fashion show, Teddi Mellencamp decided to alert Denise to something she saw in the press. That something in question was Charlie saying he couldn’t afford to pay for child support, despite Denise’s instance that he doesn’t anyway. The women, including Erika Jayne, tried in vain to convince Denise to take this to court. But despite Teddi telling Denise that Charlie said she was “behaving like a coward”, Denise wouldn’t budge. According to Denise, “I’ve been called worse by him. Actually, that’s tame.” I love how unflappable Denise is.
On last night’s Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills Teddi Mellencamp hosted an All In retreat which no one wanted to go to at all, so they went all in on Kyle Richards instead.
Despite being invited, told it didn’t matter if she attended, and then ultimately being uninvited there is Sutton Stracke, riding in a car with Kyle and Erika Jayne to Teddi’s retreat.
Sutton, displaying her good southern manners, listens to Kyle prattle on about how busy she is. Being Kyle is an exhausting, nonstop, all-consuming, ever-involved endeavor of Kyle-ness. Like Kaftans Through the kloset karosel, these are the days of Kyle’s life. Sutton is actually only half-paying attention because she’s consumed with her own worries about dealing with Teddi. Even though Sutton apologized and received a reluctant OK to attend the retreat she’s still nervous about what to expect.
On last night’s Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills Kyle Richards decided to throw a party to celebrate the many months she’s spent away on a movie set, far from her family and friends, even though she was coming home every weekend in between. Anyway this party was a disaster. Aren’t they all!
Everyone is still trying to make a storyline out of Teddi Mellencamp‘s weird All In retreat. Did Teddi invite them, did she not? Does she want them there? Does she not? Does anyone actually care? No of course not!
The problem remains on Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills that everyone is always trying to control the storylines and the narrative. Now it’s all about whether or not Teddi actually expects them to attend a 2 day exercise class where she preaches the exalted power of self-sacrifice through starvation. Teddi really isn’t interesting enough to be a cult leader – even in Southern California to emaciated hippies calling it wellness.
The whole situation has Sutton Stracke confused and Lisa Rinna salivating.
Everyone on Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills is trying waywayway too hard to make things interesting after last season. They are working hard for that money, but they need a salary reduction anyway. They’re still lying and boring!
It’s apparent that production demanded Dorit Kemsley discuss her financial woes. Dorit is still not being honest. It’s also apparent that they put the smackdown on Erika Jayne Snore-ardi and told her to show more range than one of Aaron Phyper‘s weird oxygenic bioderminator ozzzzzcilation machines. Sutton Stracke is so much more interesting! And they hate her for it.
The other problem is the constant strategic alliances. These women are coming for the weakest links: pregnant Teddi Mellencamp and ill, clueless Denise Richards. They probably figured Denise has been through it all dealing with Charlie Sheen so what’s the difference.