Christine Brown

Surely these Sister Wives paychecks cannot be enough to justify Meri Brown to stick around and mooch money out of her family to purchase a second home for her mother. She just needs to put her house on the market, file for divorce (oh, wait, done!), and move with her mom to BFE Utah to buy her family’s former homestead. Clearly, her bed and breakfast plans were extremely short lived. And what about Christine’s mom? Unlike Meri’s mom, Christine’s mother was willing to run the house in question as a bed and breakfast. Meri is over the moon that her mom wants to move into the home, and, even better, Meri doesn’t have to learn how to run a business of which she has zero knowledge. It’s a win/win…for Meri. This is a wet bar scenario on a much larger scale!

Once again, Meri summons Kody and the wives to her corner of the cul-de-sac, and once again, Robyn, Janelle, and Christine are unsure as to what to expect. Meri announces that her mother wants to move into the house, and Christine is thrilled. Her mom and Meri’s mom could run the bed and breakfast together. Meri then shares that her mom wants to move in and not run the business. Wait, what? Janelle is confused. Meri expects the family to chip in on the house and not make any profit off of it? Yeah, that makes Meri a tad nervous. It’s an expensive undertaking not to make any money. You think?

Y’all, help a sister out…please tell me why TLC insists on dragging out Sister Wives into two hour episodes? The same content could easily be edited down to an hour without scrapping any valuable lip sync footage. There has to be another plural family that wants to risk persecution by having their own show that can air during the second hour. Or, better yet, bring back the TLC flagship What Not to Wear! Alas, it’s not that I don’t love the extra time with the Janelle, Meri, Robyn, Christine (especially Christine!), and crew, but Kody Brown’s hair is such a treasure, it needs to be shared sparingly with the public.

Last night’s episode begins with Maddie and Caleb in town to celebrate her 21st birthday, but she can’t drink because she’s pregnant with the first Brown grandchild. While Janelle and Kody are privy to this information, the young couple has yet to share the news with the rest of the family. Kody resembles a cartoon villain when he’s tasked with keeping such a big secret. The family comes together to toast Madison’s milestone. Robyn explains that polygamists embrace individual birthdays…probably because being one in twenty-something children makes it easy to get lost in the shuffle the remaining 364 days a year!

Y’all, cheers to a fresh 2018! What better way to kick off the new year than with Kody Brown’s lustrous lion mane and TLC’s gift that keeps on giving…Sister Wives! As the kids age, the family has no shortage of cringe-worthy courting and mama drama to last well into the next decade. How exciting is that?!?! There are so many more children to marry off or alienate. Meri and Janelle have yet to run screaming from the cul-de-sac compound. I still haven’t figured out what concoction of happy pills are in Christine’s medicine cabinet. Endless story lines. Endless.

Christine is fixing a feast as the Browns prepare to meet Tony’s family. Kody and Christine are nervous because Tony’s parents speak very little English. In fact, Christine is in full blown panic mode because she didn’t publicly accept Tony when she first met him. What will Tony’s mother think after Christine initially disapproved of Mykelti’s relationship with her son? Of course, now Christine welcomes Tony with open arms, but still…yikes. Tony admits that his mom is freaking out too. It is nerve racking to meet such a big family! Christine jokes that Tony believes Kody has four wives so he can relax while they do all the work. Wait, are we sure he’s kidding?

Andrea Canning took the reigns once again for the final installment of this season’s Sister Wives Tell All. As one would expect, there was a lot of focus on Meri and Kody Brown’s flailing relationship as well as Mariah’s recent announcement. To be fair, it was one of the more honest tell alls from this crew, but is that really saying much? As always, the older Brown children (and Christine’s newfound euphoria) made the rest of the gang much more bearable.

Kody and Meri discuss the pitfalls in their relationship and how Meri had told Kody to quit coming around her house. However, she still wanted him to be available to help her with household chores (that wet bar isn’t going to stock itself!) and engage in small talk. Andrea questions whether Meri banished Kody with the hopes that he would fight for her, but Kody counters that for months she would tell Kody to leave when he’d come around. Andrea attempts to remind them both of why they fell in love in the first place. Meri found Kody to be handsome (of course, those locks!) and dynamic, and he loved how she looked at him with respect and adoration. Christine reminds Andrea that Kody’s main focus is the family, and sometimes it is hard for the wives when they desire their husband’s undivided attention.

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Where is Tamron Hall?? Last night’s Sister Wives Tell All was mediated by Andrea Canning, and it was, as it always is….lame. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed reliving the highlights from the season given that this season focused mainly on the older children.

With nary an introduction, the crew jumps immediately into Madison and Caleb’s wedding. A Caleb fan club is formed. The parents are beyond proud and the young couple is revered. Kody Brown’s officiating the ceremony but forgetting the rings is recalled. Robyn and Christine tout their newfound sister wife friendship after an issue with Kody that is never fully explained. When pressed about the argument that solidified the bond, Christine throws out phrases like “super mad” while Robyn nods (a lot). Kody jokes that his wives get upset with him for the most minor of infractions. Do I still have a pulse? I hope so, because I have nearly an hour of watching ahead of me!

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Wonderful readers, please accept my sincerest apology for missing last week’s recap…I was discombobulated with the holidays. You missed what would have been a post rehashing eighty minutes of a certain someone whining more about what she swears was an innocent online relationship turned farce, topped off with four minutes of a not so shocking revelation from one of the Brown children. Last night’s Sister Wives episodes dealt with Mariah’s recent announcement, which unlike her sisters Madison and Mykelti before her, had nothing to do with an engagement. After coming out as a lesbian to Kody Brown and her moms, a huge weight seems to have lifted off of Mariah’s shoulders. Good for her! I would guess that some of Mariah’s behavior and attitude of late has been due to keeping such a big secret. Immediately, Janelle starts laughing–she was so worried Mariah was going to say she was ill. Robyn jumps up in tears of joy.

Both Robyn and Janelle embrace Mariah saying that she seems so happy to have found herself. Kody and Meri stay seated, with Meri sulking that Mariah didn’t tell her first. Christine asks how Mariah has come to this revelation. Mariah cries, revealing that she was homophobic because she was so terrified of her own feeling after hearing such negativity about the gay community from others in her religion (but not from her immediate family). As she explains her thought process to her parents, it’s refreshing to see Janelle, Christine, and Robyn with such huge grins on their faces. Janelle and Robyn are bursting with pride for Mariah. Meri is the only one yet to speak, and Mariah praises Robyn for making her feel like being gay is okay. The other wives leave, and Meri offers a hug. Kody envelopes his daughter in an embrace and tells her that he loves her unconditionally and he’s so glad she felt safe enough to come out to her family.

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Last night was the first Brown wedding on Sister Wives…well, the first Brown wedding without Kody Brown as the groom, if you want to get technical. Clearly, it was a two-hour episode, and it begins with the family prepping the venue in Bozeman, Montana. Maddie is stressing over the decorations and timeline while trying not to go batty on her siblings who don’t know the meaning behind a bohemian, sporadic, rustic, free-spirited theme. Kody and Janelle wax poetic about how they saw the spark between Caleb and Maddie when they interacted a few years back at Kody’s brother’s funeral. As you recall, Caleb’s sister is Maddie’s aunt. The wives and Kody think the world of Caleb for how well he took care of his sister after her husband’s passing. Sweetly, Caleb has chosen his nephews as his groomsmen.

The family reminisces over the engagement period, and, not surprisingly, Kody hasn’t even started planning how he will officiate the ceremony. He’s been suffering from insomnia due to the pressure. Maddie isn’t shocked to hear that her dad is so unorganized, and she’s trying her best not to panic. Kody assumed that Caleb’s father, a pastor, would take the reigns, but after recently losing his wife, he wasn’t up to the task. Gracious, could Caleb’s dad be any more precious? Mykelti’s fiancée and his family are going to have some big shoes to fill.

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