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Conrad Empson

Captain Sandy Yawn Leah Shafer

Fans have watched Captain Sandy Yawn navigate through the rough seas of boat flings with her crew on Below Deck Mediterranean. It was not the epitome of courtship when Hannah Ferrier whined about cigs to Conrad Empson. The same applies to Malia White and her non-Harlequin romance with onion lover Chef Adam Glick and/or the deck crew. Being crammed together like sardines on a yacht often leads to the occasional dalliance, but is rarely a long-lasting event.

But what about the Captain? Extensive traveling and time away from her home base has proven to be a challenge in Sandy’s own personal life.  She has previously discussed the difficulty of maintaining a relationship whilst being in a career where you aren’t just in separate time zones, you can be clear across the world. Well, you can start humming The Love Boat theme song along with me, because things have changed.

Hannah Ferrier Credits Hypnotism For Helping Her Quit Smoking

Hannah Ferrier may or may not watch herself on Below Deck Mediterranean.  Perhaps for the sake of optimism, let’s assume she did view herself last season, took stock of what the rest of us saw, and decided to do something about it.

Maybe Hannah took note of the endless smoke breaks, and the stress it put on her interior team.  Certainly, working her way through a giant carton of cigarettes and owing Conrad Empson 50 Euros seemed to backfire on her.  Hannah badgered Conrad to no end because he asked for that money back.

Captain Sandy Yawn

Below Deck Mediterranean will be back for Season 4.  Bravo revealed the familiar faces in the cast lineup for the next season.  Captain Sandy Yawn is back to navigate the picturesque waters of the Mediterranean.  This time in South of France.

Hannah Ferrier returns as Chief Stew.  That’s to be expected.  She’s been with the show since the beginning.  It doesn’t seem like any of her second or third stews ever have any longevity though.  Brooke Laughton and Kasey Cohen will not be returning.

Instagram Roundup: Reza Farahan, Lisa Vanderpump, Captain Lee, & More!

All eyes are on Lisa Vanderpump these days. If you’re searching for her, don’t look anywhere near the Beverly Hills Housewives. She’s not hanging out with any of them these days, but she does spend time with some beloved animals. Recently, she shared a photo of herself holding a giant bunny.

Flipping Out cast member Jenni Pulos posted a photo of herself and her new puppy named Jax. She did not specify if she named him after Vanderpump Rules star Jax Taylor, but that’s the first “Jax” that popped up in my mind.

Instagram Roundup:

This week was all about family time when it comes to your favorite reality TV stars and of course they posted pictures from their hangouts.

New Jersey Housewives and sisters-in-law Teresa Giudice and Melissa Gorga celebrated their children’s birthdays together.

Below Deck Mediterranean cast member Conrad Empson spent some quality time with his mother.

Below Deck Reunion

Last night was the Below Deck Mediterranean reunion, and Captain Sandy Yawn wants us all to know she wore her boss pants. Joao Franco, on the other hand, wore a diaper.

The set of these WWHL Reunions is so depressing, isn’t it. Like getting married in a Vegas chapel with a liquor store next door. It just doesn’t translate to ‘daytime’ activities. Who wants to bear their soul in front of a rhinestone Snoopy or a photo of Ramona Singer doing Turtle Time in a satin dress? I guess Joao’s nervous breakdowns don’t discriminate?

Below Deck Mediterranean Reunion

Tonight we say farewell to our favorite yacht crew as another season comes to a close. The Below Deck Mediterranean reunion is tonight and we can’t wait to rehash the drama and love triangles of the season!

In the preview clips released, Captain Sandy Yawn gets candid with Conrad Empson, scolding him for his many, many cigarette breaks and his preoccupation with Hannah Ferrier. She even lets him know that she doesn’t see him making it in this line of work. Ouch!

Below Deck Mediterranean season 3 finale

It was the last charter and the season finale episode of Below Deck Mediterranean. I’m pooped of writing about the poop deck dramas of the Motor Yacht Talisman (I am also not too mature for poop jokes!). Everyone is moving on from the pettiness, squabbles, and bad vibes expect for Hannah Ferrier, who is just as ready as ever to make people’s lives miserable. Conrad Empson sure rues the day he ever got clobbered by a cougar!

The finale episode was truly all about playing games with Hannah. From musical chairs, to hide and seek, and finally battleship. The most shocking development though was realizing that Conrad and Hannah had never had sex! Do we believe them? It’s kind of cutely high school…

Anyway, we gotta also talk about Joao Franco admitting to Kasey Cohen that if she’d been the one sitting next to him during Hannah’s birthday, she’d also be the one he’d currently be screwing over instead of Brooke Laughton. Now Joao understands it was fate’s way of looking out for him. Joao mansplains, “When I kissed Brooke it all made sense…,”  but I don’t want to talk to another girl too long, because it might stop making sense in my penile brain, then I might convenience kiss somebody else. Someone else like Kasey. This logic is like watching The Notebook in lieu of getting counseling for co-dependency, and then, even worse, believing this is how mature relationships work. And I am mature, so I should know!