On last night’s Real Housewives Of New York, the women traveled upstate – like way upstate – to have another intervention with Luann de Lesseps. This time about how her cabaret has become unmanageable and out of control.
Sonja Morgan rides to Luann’s Catskills home in the equivalent of a private jet on wheels. Basically, a camper van repurposed into a luxury hotel room. It still has more amenities than the townhouse, though, because it features a working toilet!
Tonight the Real Housewives Of New York travel to Kingston, NY to visit Luann de Lesseps‘ “round house,” you know cause round things don’t have sharp edges, but they do have CABARET STARS. Which is worse: rooming with dead fish or feathers?
I am really hoping Round & Round & Round We Go Cottage is going to become The Berkshires Round 2! At the very least I’m excited to check out the subject of Luann’s lawsuit!
Mercedes “MJ” Javid has been making up for lost time. The Shahs of Sunset star finally settled down and married Tommy Feight last year. Then they quickly got moving and tried to get pregnant through IVF. Didn’t they want to enjoy the honeymoon phase just for a bit?
Luckily for MJ, she was able to get pregnant. Unfortunately, it wasn’t without several complications along the way. Such as a miscarriage scare and several bouts of bed rest. Then when MJ gave birth to her son, she almost had a near death experience! However, this isn’t stopping MJ from already wanting to expand her brood.
Do you ever watch reality TV and feel like the cast members are friends in your head? How about the parents? Do you ever watch and wonder what it would be like to have them as a mom? Just me? Alright, then.
I cannot help being fascinated by the relationships between reality TV stars and their mothers. Not all moms are created equal and not everyone is meant to be a reality TV star. Some of them are just hilarious. They steal every scene and deserve to star in shows of their own. It gets to a point with some of these cast members that it seems like their moms are the reason they’re still on TV. I don’t want to call anyone out, but when your mom gets her own on-camera interviews on your show, she’s definitely stealing your shine. Whether she’s trying to or not.
Real Housewives Of New York is like being in city traffic and hearing a loud bang and not knowing where it came from and whether or not it’s a gun going off, a car backfiring, or Ramona Singer exploding in your face.
Luann de Lesseps is in full hoity-toity mode. Cabaret Star has replaced Countess as Luann’s new schtick, and she invited all the girls to a Halloween party where she’s performing. The theme is insane asylum – perfect for this group! Luann is dressed as a sexy nurse, but Bethenny Frankel comes as a slutty guardian angel, aka Luann’s savior. Was that shady or unintentional?
Luann’s performance is supposed to start at 11, but of course, the Countess is late, girls! After waiting around for 2 hours, when Luann couldn’t even come down to say hello, or invite them backstage to her dressing room, Bethenny leaves explaining that her babysitter is expecting her.
Real Housewives of New York Season 11 has had a lot of Tinsley Mortimer-focused storylines. No one saw that coming. However, Tinsley’s mom Dale Mercer is doing whatever she can to be on this season be there for her daughter. Dale has come up to New York City to “get her hair done” several times season.
She even has her own on-camera interviews. No one else’s relatives get that kind of shine on this show. At this point, it’s safe to expect a Dale appearance during the reunion. However, things just got very heavy during the last episode of RHONY. Dale shaded Tinsley whenever possible. To add insult to injury, she complimented Sonja Morgan a million times over. It all culminated in a tear-filled conversation at the end of the episode when Tinsley cried about her breakup with Scott Kluth. Meanwhile, Dale was less than warm in response.
Last night the Real Housewives Of New York went to the Big Apple Circus where Sonja Morgan lifted a random baby from the lap of the mother who was sitting behind her, and held it in her own lap so the child could get a better look at the action. That baby sat there stoically and dry-eyed as the adult women around her sloshed popcorn-essenced cocktails in her face and probably assumed the wetness on their dress was because the baby pooped herself. You know this child was forever changed, and all-knowing from this experience, and someday, many moons from now will be gracing some future Bravo network as a Real Housealien Of Spaceship Villa Uranus in the year 2075.
Especially because just as randomly this baby’s honorary temporary godmother Sonja Morgan, of the Sexy J performing acrobatics troupe, passed her back to her mother, and hiked up her sequined mini dress before vaulting over the dividing wall right into the center ring to join the clowns. It’s as if Sonja was born for this moment, and never has she felt more at home. To somersault in heels, pantomime, and ad-lib, and if Luann de Lesseps doesn’t incorporate The Sexy J random circus into her cabaret halftime show (sponsored by Dale Mercer, of course) than she’s a bigger fool than even I thought possible.
The Real Housewives Of New York never fail to disappoint! They cycle through emotions faster than teenage girls, even though they’re all, for the most part, menopausal women.
We open in the Berkshires where Sonja Morgan is having a meltdown over Dorinda Medley touching the sacred MOOOOOORGAN LETTERS, which really should be under plexiglass like the Guggenheim Bible and the first thong Sonja ever washed in her bidet. “She didn’t desecrate them!” Ramona Singer yells in an attempt to calm Sonja down, but Bethenny Frankel is the expert in psychotic breaks.
Bethenny has a lifetime of experience, after all, so she ushers Sonja out of the room, grabs her face, and performs an exorcism. I also think Bethenny must have hypnotized Sonja with one the 32 diamond rings she’s wearing, because from that moment forward Sonja became obsessed with The B. Back at the table, Sonja is ready to resume partying. Everything’s fine!
