Dance Moms: Miami is still living up to its initial hype, for me at least. I love the Victor/Angel good cop/bad cop dynamic, and once again, the dancers prove that they are way more capable of maturity, class, and kindness than their bat poo crazy mothers.
We resume with the ever ominous list. Even though the group out-performed everyone, it’s not enough for Victor and Angel. Despite a second place finish, Lucas is on top. A proud Kimmy takes the second spot for remembering choreography, and, more importantly, having the least crazy mother. Even though Sammy placed first in the solo performance, she’s in the third position. A smug Sammy is confused. Jessi’s mother is already crying knowing her daughter’s near the bottom. Victor reminds her that a reputation takes a second to destroy and months to rebuild. Remember that, poor sport! Debi is upset that Hannah had her best dance yet but still ends up at the bottom.
The crew is heading back to California. How do I become the child of a Dance Mom? I would like to traipse around the country each week, despite my fear of flying. Lucas and Kimmy are granted solos. Sammy is given a solo by Victor, accompanied by harsh words from Angel. Neither Jessi nor Hannah will be dancing solos. The group dance is a deep, contemporary number based in each dancers’ insecurities.
Angel is shocked at how nice the moms are being towards one another. He cites that there must have been a special on booze at the liquor store. Man, I love him. Of course, by nice, he means the mothers are passive aggressively complimenting their counterparts…make that their counterparts’ children. Victor and Angel tap into the crews’ insecurities. Are they licensed therapists? The kids are crying about how small and ugly and imperfect they feel, and it pretty much all goes straight back to how their moms behave. The moms are proud…yet Susan thinks that Sammy isn’t quite deserving a three-run solo. Even the normally calm Bridgette calls out Abby on her cockiness surrounding her daughter. So basically, the insecurity exercise works on the kids, yet it ignites the moms. The moms, sans Abby, go to on a group bathroom outing, which all girls know is code for major gossip time.
The troupe practices purging their insecurities through dance. After Debi was excited to see Abby finally treated as the outsider, she is perturbed to see Bridgette approaching Abby to apologize. Bridgette is convinced that Debi manipulated the women to find fault with Abby, mother to Sammy, who, may I remind you, is a child and also Debi’s nemesis—not Debi’s daughter’s nemesis, but Debi’s nemesis. The only issue Hannah and Sammy seem to have is that their mothers want them to hate each other.
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