Dance Moms Season 7

If you thought Yolanda unleashed some serious crazy on last week’s episode of Dance Moms, she must have been contagious (haha!). Just when I thought we’d found an even keeled replacement for the unhinged Abby Lee Miller things started going south rather quickly!

The moms are beginning to doubt Laurieann Gibson’s magic touch. She doesn’t have the formula for winning like Abby has. Laurieann blames the lack of girls’ stamina, but the mothers are buying it. Ashlee is starting to regret her choice to invite Laurieann to the studio. In Laurieann’s A-list, the minis are on the bottom, or D-list. Yolanda tries to put in her two cents, but she’s quickly shut down. Kendall and Nia are on the C-list for not working hard enough or dancing up to their potential…and Maesie joins them for not dancing at all. Kalani and Camryn comprise the B-list with Brynn on the top.

Last night’s Dance Moms introduced us to a force of crazy the likes of which the ALDC has never seen. Who knew there would be a mother who could make Abby Lee Miller appear sane? Y’all know who I’m talking about, right? Yo-yolanda was in rare form on the latest episode, and that’s saying a lot given her peers. It’s very difficult to out-crazy crazy with these women!

Poor Laurieann Gibson. She’s really got her work cut out for her! After last week’s fourth place finish and dueling mothers, she is finally getting her feet wet. Laurieanne assembles the group for her version of Abby’s pyramid, which she has revamped as the A-list. Brynn is on the bottom with Kendall, but Laurieanne builds them up with positive reinforcement.  Camryn, Maesie “the black sheep”, and Kalani make up the middle of the A, with the minis on the next tier. Nia Frazier tops the A-list, and man, I just adore her. She’s so humble.

As last night’s Dance Moms begins, Abby Lee Miller is no where to be seen. She’s two days away from her sentencing, and traipsing around Europe. Is it my birthday? It’s the greatest gift, for sure.  Ashlee is is thrilled to bring in Laureanne Gibson, a choreographer and life-changer for stars like Lady Gaga, Beyonce, the Jonas Brothers, and Demi Lavato. Google her, y’all. She’s so tickled to get to work with young dancers and take a break from P. Diddy (Puff Daddy?) and Katy Perry to get the ALDC off their cuckoo for cocoa puffs hamster wheel. Laurieanne has won Emmys and MTV awards, she is ready to break down the monotony of the dance competition world. As she spouts off her resume and accolades and star proteges, Kira interrupts to remind her that this group is on a time frame. Laurieanne questions whether Abby has held back any of the dancers, and hands go up all over the room.

Nia tears up remembering how hard Abby was on her when she embarked on her music career. But guess what? Laurieanne is faster, stronger, better. She’s time, people. Like, literally, she said she’s not worried about time because she IS time. While I’m wrapping my head around this admission, I realize I’m just thrilled to be without the pyramid. When she dismisses the mothers, I’m like, Boom. She’s cray, but I love it.