When Vanderpump Rules first catapulted into the Bravo lexicon the appeal was that was its off the cuff and unpredictable cast members whose earnestly dysfunctional relationships anchored the show, and served as a highlight to all the other nonsense.
There was a magic in its untested authenticity that was like the early seasons of Real World or Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills. Before these people realized they were going to become a phenomenon just for showing up. But alas it is now not the case. Lisa Vanderpump has now assumed the role of part Svengali/part David Copperfield; trying to make magic out of thin air and airheads.
It’s not working.
The bachelor/bachelorette party “fun” continues tonight on Vanderpump Rules; i.e. the cast will continue to get drunk and argue in Miami.
The guys dress up as old men because, well, Tom Sandoval coordinated this party and it’s hilarious.
You guys… I’m losing my patience with Vanderpump Rules. I know, I know – it’s only like the 4th episode, but it’s the 8th (EIGHTH) season of the same drama, with the same cast members largely forced together for the sake of the show.
Would Ariana Madix and Stassi Schroeder have spoken to each other in the last 5 years, let alone still have something to argue about, if it weren’t for this show? Nope, not at all. In fact Stassi likely would’ve moved somewhere else, save for being on TV. Would Kristen Doute still be lurking around, carrying her cloud of dingy destruction, after sleeping with Stassi’s then-boyfriend Jax Taylor, then sleeping with Jax’s now fiancé, Brittany Cartwright? No, absolutely not.
Would Scheana Marie still be working as a waitress at SUR, sexually harassing post-adolescent boys, if it weren’t for Vanderpump Rules? Well, yeah probably. Would Tom 2 and Katie Maloney have gotten married? Not likely. But here we are celebrating the momentous occassion of Jax having been on reality TV for so long that he’s run out of storylines and the only sensational thing that remains is getting married. It’s a sad way to fizzle into obscurity for the man who kept up a lie about sleeping with his girlfriend’s best friend with a woman who happened to be the girlfriend of his best friend, and doing this on the sofa while the boyfriend/bestie was in the next room, passed out. Twice.
With Charli Burnett around, I assume that Scheana Marie looks in the mirror at lot less, since she has a “mini me” around all the time to side with her, listen to her complain about boys, and trash talk Dayna Kathan.
However, Charli is doing a lot more than that. She has become the second cast member to make their mark on this show thanks to pasta. James Kennedy is the first, of course. During the last Vanderpump Rules episode, Charli told Dayna that she’s never had pasta. In her entire life. How is that even possible? She also shared her “theory” that pasta makes people gain weight, well, duh. That’s not a theory. That’s a fact. And, well, Jax Taylor called her out and Lala Kent jumped in on the fun.
I felt some major secondhand embarrassment when Scheana Marie crashed boys night to talk with Max Boyens during the last Vanderpump Rules episode. First, she showed up at the restaurant to nonchalantly talk to Max while he was working at the bar. However, he wasn’t even there, and Scheana’s intention to casually talk to him didn’t not pan out.
Then, she texted him about her desire to clear the air after he referred to Scheana as “boy crazy” during the season premiere episode. Max read her texts out loud to the guys to seem cool. Production even showed some screenshots from the conversation to just twist that knife in a little bit further (they didn’t show any of Max’s responses). Moreover, that’s not the whole story. Scheana did not actually crash the gathering. Max invited her… and then acted like he didn’t. Wow. I would feel so bad for her if she wasn’t hazing Dayna Kathan at SUR because of Dayna’s hookups with Max (no matter how much Scheana denies the reasoning, we all can make that connection).
On last night’s Vanderpump Rules Tom Sandoval got bit by the itsy-crazy spider and lost his head. That spider was the black widow of man-sanity!
Charli Burnett and Dayna Kathan are both finishing their training at SUR. While Charli is feeling right at home in the bosom of Scheana Marie‘s attentions, Dayna is feeling ostracized. Being called a mini Scheana Marie is definitely NOT a compliment, and considering that Charli claims she’s never eaten pasta she is not gong to fit in well here because it is literally ALL about the pasta!
Scheana is trying to play mind games with Dayna by pretending the still has her acrylic claws into Max Boyens. Scheana shows up at SUR to pick up a uniform and announces that she’s going to crash boys night to confront Max for calling her “boy crazy.” Because nothing says ‘I’m completely sane and not at all desperate’ like wearing an ill-fitting, cleavage baring dress and interrupting a bro-down to discuss about relationship boundaries with a person you’ve never had a relationship with outside of sending him a stalking device FOR THANKSGIVING.
Vanderpump Rules is back tonight for a brand new episode. After years of tension without an obvious cause, Stassi Schroeder and Tom Sandoval get into an explosive fight during tonight’s episode. Tom pulls a Katie Maloney and sends out some rage texts after he’s excluded from planning Stassi’s book signing at TomTom.
In other news, Tom Sandoval and Jax Taylor are still at odds. This leaves their best friend Tom Schwartz stuck in the middle. Schwartz tries his best to mend the problems between his two best friends before the cast Miami trip, but I feel like his efforts aren’t going to work. At least in the long-run.
If you thought Dayna Kathan looked familiar when Vanderpump Rules Season 8 started, it’s probably because she has been on the show before. “Coincidentally,” she and some other women were present for a guys’ staycation at a local hotel during a previous season. She also disappeared into the bathroom with Vanderpump Rules OG Peter Madrigal.
During the Season 8 premiere, Peter said that he hoped it wasn’t going to be awkward with her working at SUR after they hooked up. Dayna denied the hookup and said she was just peeing. Excuse me, who brings a stranger into a hotel bathroom to pee? Especially with a reality TV crew in the wings. During he confessional, she continued to poke fun at Peter, saying that she would remember “hooking up with a pirate.” Roll back, some unaired footage. Is she trying to discredit Peter? Or is Peter exaggerating their hookup? Jax Taylor jumped in to defend his friend in a series of tweets.