Don’t you miss 90 Day Fiance? Each episode is guaranteed to bring something strange, embarrassing, awkward and mind-boggling. And that is just before the first commercial break! Arguably, the couple who brought the most amusing and shocking moments last season were Colt Johnson and Larissa Dos Santos Lima. And fortunately for viewers, we were introduced to Colt’s reality television gold mother, Debbie Johnson!
In a whirlwind season, we saw Colt and Larissa reunited in Las Vegas to marry. And we watched them fight and make up. Again and again. Seemingly disagreeing on everything. Yet, somehow the odd couple managed to make it down the aisle-Larissa in a dress from Goodwill and Colt in, well, something dapper from the Colt Collection. And now, less than a year after these two love birds took their sacred vows, they are finalizing their divorce.
Colt Johnson has been one of the most colorful characters in 90 Day Fiance history. It seems like he will do almost anything to extend his 15 minutes of fame. Lucky us! From allegations of online cheating to having the Las Vegas Police Department on speed dial, Colt and his soon-to-be ex Larissa Dos Santos Lima have subjected us to non-stop, shameless attention seeking.
You might be wondering: What else could Colt do to draw attention to himself? I will admit that thought has crossed my mind. More than once. Well, now we have the answer. Colt has decided that he is going to be a modern-day Cupid who will fulfill all of your wildest romantic fantasies!
Remember when Danielle Mullins’ white binder of evihdunz was the most controversial thing happening on the 90 Day Fiance Tell All stage? Yeah, those days are gone. Because this year’s crew has pretty much topped out TLC’s hit show for deranged behavior, off-screen drama, and unhappily ever after endings. In real time, Colt Johnson has filed for divorce from Larissa Dos Santos Lima after her third (yes, THIRD) arrest for domestic battery. Jonathan Rivera and Fernanda Flores have split. And, it looks as if he fancies himself the next
D-list Bachelor. Poor Ashley Martson was admitted to the hospital this weekend after being found unresponsive in her apartment (sources report she’s doing better now) from complications of Lupus. We don’t know whether she and Jay Smith are even still together. Steven Frend and Olga Koshimbetova are officially “on” since her visa was approved in December. Eric Rosenbrook and Leida Margaretha continue to post troubling videos about Leida being “suicidal” on social media. Kalani Faagata and Asuelu Pulaa are having baby boy number two. And effing EVERYONE has a GoFundMe.
So…good times! But for our last installment of the season six Tell All, we’ll try to suspend disbelief and comment on the lunacy we saw last night. Because there was plenty to go around. Let’s link arms and stumble off the battlefield of this 90 Day Fiance season like the wounded soldiers we are. Viewers of 90 Day Fiance, I salute you! You deserve a medal.
Part 2 of the 90 Day Fiance Tell All for season six airs tonight. The battle between Larissa Dos Santos Lima and Fernanda Flores rages on. Fernanda and Larissa hurl insults at each other. They are backed up by soon-to-be ex-husbands, Colt Johnson and Jonathan Rivera. There are even a few “Housewives” style walk-offs.
At least we’re treated to a full-on traditional Samoan dance by our beloved Asuelu Pulaa at the end. This might wash away .001 percent of the grime we’re covered with after watching all of these couples act like fools for the past fourteen weeks.
Say it isn’t so! In the world of relationship goals that is this season of 90 Day Fiance everyone’s second most loathsome couple Colt Johnson and Larissa Dos Santos Lima have hit more than just a rough patch.
It appears as though Colt-e
and his mother have has had enough of his Brazilian bride and her fiery temper.
Larissa Dos Santos Lima’s airtime on the first part of the 90 Day Fiance Tell All was a situation of quality over quantity. Larissa and husband Colt Johnson definitely vamped up the energy upon their tardy arrival. TLC showed just under four minutes of footage with them onstage, but it was the most memorable time of the hour.
Last night, Shaun Robinson attempted to tame the wild beasts of the Season 6 90 Day Fiance cast. Alas, only Asuelu Pulaa came out unscathed – although we can’t be totally sure about his boohole situation. As the entire motley crew sat down for their traditional Couples Tell All reunion special, one thing was apparent: Eric Rosenbrook and Leida Margaretha are still the absolute worst. No contest.
The reunion started off with intros all around, minus Colt Johnson and Larissa Dos Santos Lima, who decided to get there when they damn well felt like it! At least everyone else decided to show up for their ritual hazing, starting from left to right: Ashley Martson, Jay Smith, Kalani Faagata, Asuelu, Jonathan Rivera,Fernanda Flores, Eric, Leida, Steven Frend, and Olga Koshimbetova via Skype.
The season six Tell All of 90 Day Fiance is almost upon us, and so is a heaping helping of more lies coming from Jay Smith’s mouth. Tonight, it looks like Jay is put on the hot seat pretty much right out of the gate. Host Shaun Robinson asks him just what the eff he was thinking creating that Tinder account?
Ashley Martson argues that Jay never really committed himself to the marriage. Of course, Jay has plenty of excuses. At the top of the list: He just thought Tinder was a place to make “friends!” Aww, poor Jay. He’s just sitting around on the ole’ iPad and…BAM! He’s got twelve side chicks. It could happen to anyone.