I am going to open this Real Housewives Of New York recap with a controversial confession: I LOVE Feelin’ Jovani! Stone me with sequins and rhinestones; I don’t care I will wear Jovani anywhere — and it feels so right!
How righteous was it for Andy Cohen to play the track during the reunion. While Luann de Lesseps mouthed the words to her own anthem. The other women avoided her eyes out of sheer second-hand embarrassment. I guess you could say they were feelin’ embarrassed, and it felt so wrong.
Anyway, now the outfits! Bethenny Frankel wore a dress that looks like a Tetris game. Which is appropriate considering how many puzzle pieces there are to Bethenny’s life and it’s near impossible to see how all the wonky angles fit together. Luann looked like she was wearing Jovani to her own funeral. Again, apropos.
Can you believe it is already reunion time for the Real Housewives of New York? The season flew by and we will soon be searching Bravo for all-day marathons and RHONY updates. And what a season it was. Cabaret overkill courtesy of Luann de Lesseps. Bethenny Frankel experiencing the tragic loss of Dennis Shields. Tinsley Mortimer’s latest–and maybe final–break up with Scott Kluth.
Plus, the unforgettable drunken antics of Sonja Morgan in Miami. Alcohol friendly Dorinda Medley actually completing a season mostly sober! OG Ramona Singer was rather low key, other than being her usual demanding, crass and frequently rude self. She did have a few disagreements with the other ladies, but one castmate in particular seemed to rub her the wrong way.
Last night was the season finale of Real Housewives Of New York, which was about as bad a news a girl can receive. I should probably just console myself by investing in a Countess Candle. After all, Luann de Lesseps is my personal idol of how not to behave and why.
It’s the day before the infamous Christmas Cabaret and Luann is in rare form, gliding into the Gramercy Theater wearing a fabulous cape – like a true diva. Next Luann will be getting one of those long cigarette holders (please let this happen). Luann’s weary assistant, the Countess Corraller, is stationed outside her dressing room overseeing the vast collection of Luann-centric products: statement necklaces, t-shirts, and of course the candles, but this is a mere rehearsal before the big show.
Dorinda Medley and Sonja Morgan take time out of their busy lives for a little pampering, i.e. Coolsculpting which freezes their fat cells so they can metabolize them, then pee them out. If only I could do this with ice cream! Also Real Housewives science, as departed by a doctor we’re supposed to find sexy is always the best.
Miami is where souls go to die on Real Housewives Of New York. People are arrested. People are swept up in tsunami-like rages. And people pose decadently and cluelessly in front of their cabaret posters in the middle of the street.
Last night gave us the full spectrum of why Real Housewives Of New York are the alpha Housewives. One minute people are shaking with sobs, the next they’re shoving their dogs in a home freezer, then putting on thong leotards for a little 80’s throwback workout.
*sigh* So many thoughts about last night’s episode of Real Housewives Of New York. SO. MANY. THOUGHTS. And even more questions!
Does Luann de Lesseps deserve the wrath of hungover Housewives? Does air conditioner make Sonja Morgan poof or poop? Does Bethenny Frankel see Luann as her human sounding board – the one person resilient enough to take all the tantrums Bethenny’s mother ignored as she headed out to the clubs or on a date; giving Bethenny free-reign to project all of her childhood emotions.
Also, it occurs to me, that Bethenny probably married her mother and her father in Jason Hoppy, who seems diabolical, but also really disinterested in her melodrama, and Bethenny needs someone to give validity to her hysteria or else she thinks they don’t ‘hear’ her.
Ramona Singer has had an interesting season on Real Housewives of New York. She has not really had much of a storyline, but Ramona has been making her presence known on each episode by being, well, Ramona. Following her split from Mario Singer, Ramona seemed a little nicer, a little more humble. Dare I say, even a little bit likable?
This season, however, Ramona has been back to her old self-centered, thoughtless ways. Sonja Morgan thinks Ramona is very much into herself. Ramona has been called out for rude comments she made about Dennis Shields after his death. She also chose not to invite her co-stars to her birthday party–but made sure they knew all about her fabulous celebration! And she has treated newbie Barbara Kavovit like an evil stepsister. Now, Ramona has put her foot in her mouth regarding one of her co-stars–Season 11 lightning rod Luann de Lesseps.
No one’s personal life is off limits when it comes to Real Housewives of New York. Significant others can become a storyline whether they are on camera or not. Like that unfortunate business of Tinsley Mortimer and Scott Kluth. The car he sent over from Chicago spent more time onscreen than its owner. Yet Scott’s name was on everybody’s lips for quite a while.
Dive back far enough into the show’s history and you might stumble upon speculations that Luann de Lesseps had an open marriage with the Count. Bethenny’s Frankel’s relationships may have had gray areas and some castmates were quick to pass judgment.
In what must be one of the ugliest divorces and custody disputes of all time, Real Housewives of New York star Bethenny Frankel and her ex-husband Jason Hoppy continue to spar over custody of their only child, Bryn Hoppy. The couple’s toxic marriage finally came to an end in July of 2016. The drama did not.
In August 2018, Bethenny suffered a major loss when her boyfriend (and possible fiancé) Dennis Shields was found dead of a suspected opioid overdose. RHONY viewers saw how Bethenny handled her grief. Eventually, she decided to move on with a new man, Paul Bernon. She even met with a grief counselor on the show.