Well, it is with great sadness that I announce Real Housewives Of New York season 11 has come to an end. I am so thankful god has granted these women the serenity to accept that they WILL NOT change and will forever remain the lovable, dysfunctional, bizarro world kooks we have come to adore.
For all the drama and insults they inflict upon each Real Housewives Of New York is unlike any other franchise in their ability to brush it off, chalk it up to experience, and come back together as more than friends, but family. After so many years knowing each other on and off Bravo, this show is also unique in that most of the relationships predate the show, and will outlast it too.
Unequivocably the major subject of this reunion (and so many others) has been Luann de Lesseps. No wonder Luann has such a huge ego! It’s impossible for me to comprehend that there was a time when Lu was a ‘Friend of…’ and I’m very curious to see how that will play out with Vicki Gunvalson on Real Housewives Of Orange County (which starts next week. WOOT!)
Tonight season 11 of Real Housewives Of New York concludes with part 3 of the reunion. Unlike most Real Housewives franchises I’m always sad to see RHONY go. Even when Barbara Kavovit takes the stage!
That’s right, tonight Barbara finally gets her moment in the sun and she has the endless tan to prove it. Seriously Barbara shows up on stage looking more orange than a New Jersey housewife headed for the shore for the first time all season!
Barbara is also there to discuss her struggle to get along with the group and her friendship with Luann de Lesseps, who made Barbara feel like a second-class friend. Probably the second the cameras started rolling!
Real Housewives of New York really delivered this season. Bethenny Frankel played an important role in getting Luann de Lesseps back into rehab. In May, Luann violated her probation by drinking, and was taken into custody. She agreed to a new plea deal, and her adventures as a cabaret star continued. The other New York Ladies wished that “Countess Cabaret” would tone it down and stop being so entitled.
We watched Bethenny navigate the death of her on-and-off boyfriend Dennis Shields from a suspected drug overdose. She had a nearly fatal allergic reaction to fish, and was saved by her new boyfriend, Paul Bernon.
Somewhere a satanic cult is using Ramona Singer as their icon. The recap highlighting Ramona’s season full of atrocious behavior and excuses, followed by the flashback of SEASONS worth of Ramona shrugging that she can’t help what comes out of her mouth because that’s the way she is, finally cutting to the present day Real Housewives Of New York reunion stage where, with all the sincerity of a robot, Ramona admits that she‘s horrible… It’s all literally a study of the human brain without emotional intelligence.
I could literally spend this entire recap talking about nothing but Ramona. When have we ever come across a Housewife so comfortably tactless, callous, and clueless that she offered up DEMENTIA as an excuse for being a shitty friend. DEMENTIA people! DE-MEN-TIA. This from a woman who subsequently bragged that it was OK to be obsessed with her appearance because she works “really hard” to remain ageless. Ramona’s attitude (aka the brain of a 14-year-old social media addict) is the most ageless thing of all!
I am going to open this Real Housewives Of New York recap with a controversial confession: I LOVE Feelin’ Jovani! Stone me with sequins and rhinestones; I don’t care I will wear Jovani anywhere — and it feels so right!
How righteous was it for Andy Cohen to play the track during the reunion. While Luann de Lesseps mouthed the words to her own anthem. The other women avoided her eyes out of sheer second-hand embarrassment. I guess you could say they were feelin’ embarrassed, and it felt so wrong.
Anyway, now the outfits! Bethenny Frankel wore a dress that looks like a Tetris game. Which is appropriate considering how many puzzle pieces there are to Bethenny’s life and it’s near impossible to see how all the wonky angles fit together. Luann looked like she was wearing Jovani to her own funeral. Again, apropos.
Can you believe it is already reunion time for the Real Housewives of New York? The season flew by and we will soon be searching Bravo for all-day marathons and RHONY updates. And what a season it was. Cabaret overkill courtesy of Luann de Lesseps. Bethenny Frankel experiencing the tragic loss of Dennis Shields. Tinsley Mortimer’s latest–and maybe final–break up with Scott Kluth.
Plus, the unforgettable drunken antics of Sonja Morgan in Miami. Alcohol friendly Dorinda Medley actually completing a season mostly sober! OG Ramona Singer was rather low key, other than being her usual demanding, crass and frequently rude self. She did have a few disagreements with the other ladies, but one castmate in particular seemed to rub her the wrong way.
Last night was the season finale of Real Housewives Of New York, which was about as bad a news a girl can receive. I should probably just console myself by investing in a Countess Candle. After all, Luann de Lesseps is my personal idol of how not to behave and why.
It’s the day before the infamous Christmas Cabaret and Luann is in rare form, gliding into the Gramercy Theater wearing a fabulous cape – like a true diva. Next Luann will be getting one of those long cigarette holders (please let this happen). Luann’s weary assistant, the Countess Corraller, is stationed outside her dressing room overseeing the vast collection of Luann-centric products: statement necklaces, t-shirts, and of course the candles, but this is a mere rehearsal before the big show.
Dorinda Medley and Sonja Morgan take time out of their busy lives for a little pampering, i.e. Coolsculpting which freezes their fat cells so they can metabolize them, then pee them out. If only I could do this with ice cream! Also Real Housewives science, as departed by a doctor we’re supposed to find sexy is always the best.
Miami is where souls go to die on Real Housewives Of New York. People are arrested. People are swept up in tsunami-like rages. And people pose decadently and cluelessly in front of their cabaret posters in the middle of the street.
Last night gave us the full spectrum of why Real Housewives Of New York are the alpha Housewives. One minute people are shaking with sobs, the next they’re shoving their dogs in a home freezer, then putting on thong leotards for a little 80’s throwback workout.