I have to admit, when I saw that tonight’s episode of Shahs of Sunset was titled “A Tale of Two Turkeys” I was worried we would spend the episode rehashing the two different versions of events that Mike Shouhed and Golnesa “GG” Gharachedaghi presented from their fateful cast trip to Turkey a few years ago. I guess I have spent too long following the Shahs but either way, I was relieve to find out that the turkey the title is referring to is just good old fashioned Turkey Day because it’s Thanksgiving on the Sunset. Time to give thanks, right? If by “thanks” I mean gossip, backstabbing and meddling in each other’s business! God, I love the holidays.
We open with Mike and buddy once more Reza Farahan walking their dogs and talking crudely about Mike’s dating life. Who really belongs on the leash here? Anyway, Reza thinks that it’s time that Mike gets back into the dating game and while Mike assures everyone that it’s not for lack of options, he feels like when you have been
cheating with someone for 5 years, it’s hard to get back into dating mode. Plus, he’s not technically divorced yet, although that didn’t seem to stop him from dating when he was actually married. Reza is shocked to hear this news, especially since he took the liberty of circling the divorce finalization date in a red sharpie marker on his calendar, signaling that it’s FINAL. I guess because if Reza uses a red sharpie, then all of the mediation, negotiation and litigation that it takes to finalize a divorce gets trumped by a red marker? I can’t understand why Reza is so shocked to hear this but since he has to turn everything into an ulterior motive, he asks Mike if he’s dragging his feet on the divorce because he’s still emotionally invested. Mike maintains that he’s just not ready and who knows, he probably has a full plate with all the baby shoes he selling (or something).
No pregnancy has caused as much of a stir as Asa Soltan Rahmati’s on this season of Shahs of Sunset. From Mercedes “MJ” Javid taking Asa’s pregnancy announcement as a “sign” that she herself should get pregnant to the entire cast questioning the conception of her then unborn baby, Asa’s pregnancy has provided more story lines than she ever has this whole time.
Obviously, this doesn’t sit well with the self-proclaimed Persian Pop Priestess, and she had some choice words for MJ when she and Destiney Rose were guests on Watch What Happens Live.
Now that we have gotten the whole cast trip/everyone has come together in a moment of bonding out of the way, it’s time for the Shahs of Sunset to tear it all down! If I had to sum up our band of merry Shahs in one word tonight, it would be
cheaters truth warriors. OK, well that’s two words but you get the idea – this gang just cannot stop until the truth,or whatever they happen to think is the truth, comes out. The focus of the truth warriors’ quest for answers is resident fly-under-the-radar-good-guy-to-the-point-of-boredom, Shervin Roohparvar, who is being accused of sleeping around with (GASP!) another Bravolebrity. And if you thought that his friends were going to let him get away with it, your guess is colder than one of Asa Soltan Rahmati’s frozen embryos. What about confronting him with this information in a really inappropriate time and place? Warmer. Then saying you will keep his secret? Warmer. Then inviting his supposed mistress to a party he will be at and confronting him with what he told you in confidence in front of all of his friends while demanding he admit it to everyone? Burning up! Can you guys handle the truth? Read on….
As the Shahs of Sunset continue their
politically incorrect spiritual tour of Israel, tonight’s episode is all about opening up and being honest within their friendships and lives. That’s a pretty tall order, especially for Asa “Did You Know I’m Having a Baby” Soltan Rahmati, who has been dodging questions about her personal life faster than you can say miracle baby. None of this is sitting well with Mercedes “MJ” Javid, who desperately wants to make a baby of her own and thinks the more she tells people, the more likely it is to happen. Everyone click yourselves into your overpriced strollers and hang on, because tonight is going to be a bumpy ride.
We rejoin the Shahs at the Western Wall, where they are all praying for what they want, except Golnesa “GG” Gharachedaghi, who sits there fuming about being out of her element. Dressed in camo pants and an angry look on her face, she minds her own business but claims that an Israeli man harassed her by saying “jihad” to her. I guess the multiple camera pointed at her didn’t catch that part but of course, GG wouldn’t make something up now would she? *Pausing as I list in my head all the things GG has made up over the course of the show*
Last week on Shahs of Sunset, the Israeli experience was all about getting drunk and partying. This week? It’s time for the Shahs to get spiritual. And by spiritual, I mean fight nonstop with each other about religion. How enlightening!
It’s 9 AM – do you know where your MJ is? It’s no surprise that after a night of heavy drinking and trashing her hotel room, Mercedes “MJ” Javid and her dirty feet still aren’t up for the morning. The rest of the gang is getting ready and eating breakfast but no MJ to be found. Worried that maybe she has suffocated under her own boobs, Reza Farahan FaceTimes her and immediately wishes he hadn’t. MJ likes to claim she’s always fresh as a daisy after a night of drinking but time (and alcohol) has not been kind to her. She’s looking more weed wacked than freshly bloomed.
On every Bravo reality show, there comes a crucial point in the filming of the season where it’s time to get the cast up and out of their element, all for the sake of the viewer’s entertainment. Shahs of Sunset fans, I bring you last night’s episode of the cast trip. Why they chose to do it so early in the season is still a bit of a mystery to me but let’s just go along for the ride like we do everything else.
Before vacation commences, Reza Farahan does have some important business to work on at home: humoring husband Adam Neely into thinking he will consider a surrogate to have their children. They meet the doctor, who looks like the villain from every recent James Bond movie I’ve seen, and settle into his office. But while Adam is ready to talk babies, Reza is transfixed with the doctor’s taste in furniture and calculates in his head how much the desk costs and how his surrogacy money would be paying for it.
With a tumultuous and long-standing feud between Reza Farahan and Golnesa “GG” Gharachedaghi finally resolved, the Shahs of Sunset can get back to more important things, like peace in the Middle East. Just how does a Shah go about tackling the task that has eluded generations of people worldwide? By throwing a politically incorrect party, of course!
Reza and Mike Shouhed nurse their hangovers at lunch, while they recover from Shervin Rpoohparvar’s Malibu party the night before. Mike never went to bed and when Mercedes “MJ” Javid shows up, it looks like she hasn’t either….for days. Talk turns from being hungover to how much Mike’s family means to him and that includes family in Israel that he hasn’t seen in over ten years. Hey, wouldn’t it be “the dope-est” if all of the Shahs went to Israel too? Apparently so, according to Reza. He is looking to connect with the Jewish side of his life via a posh vacation with his friends. When they try and get MJ on board, she initially balks, saying she doesn’t want to leave her father while he is sick. But she quickly realizes that she needs a break from her stressful life and I guess another cast trip with this bunch of hooligans is something she might find relaxing. She thrives in chaos after all!
We are only on episode two of the new season of Shahs of Sunset and I’m already tired of hearing the Persian Priestess turned Diamond Water Maker turned Kaftan Peddler Asa Soltan Rahmati go on and on about her unborn vegan baby. I wish someone could give me an epidural for the rest of the season to take the pain away.
Speaking of things we have to endure, Golnesa “GG” Gharachedaghi is back in full effect this episode and she is ready to make amends all over the place. I don’t even know if she understands what she is apologizing for but she plans on throwing those apologies out faster than she can go from belligerent drunk to blackout drunk. GG arrives at Asa’s house to eat some hummus and drink the weird watermelon juice Asa has set out. Note: not diamond water. But Asa is true to her new craft, the overpriced kaftans she wears nonstop, and today is no exception. GG shovels zucchini into her mouth with her talons and tells Asa how skinny she looks, despite Asa’s constant attempts to get GG to notice her baby bump.