Finally we have reached the end of the line with Real Housewives Of Orange County. It has been a long and confusing season of many Housewives I do not particularly like. Tamra Judge, I am looking at you. Furthermore I am so thankful I will no longer have to type Brauwnyn Windham-Burke‘s exhausting name, as exhausting as the woman herself, every week. Ugh.
Among the many revelations from part 3 of the reunion, we learned that skanky behavior has always been a cornerstone of the show’s foundation and Andy Cohen will not have you argue it any other way. Boobs out, girls!
We open with Vicki Gunvalson accusing Braunwyn of violating the show’s moral compass, causing Vicki to lose 2 clients. I’m sorry, so dating cancer scamming Brooks Ayers meets Vici’s clients “moral compass”? Andy reminds Vicki that she has flashed her tits at the dinner table, given fake blow jobs (in addition to plenty of low blows) and participated in the Naked Wasted episode with Gretchen Rossi, so why the revisionist history??
OK, so once again rolling in super tardy with a recap. This time for part 2 of the Real Housewives Of Orange County reunion. Sorry Vicki Gunvalson – I respect Christmas more than I respect you!
Legit question, though: Vicki wasn’t even a ‘Housewife’ this season, yet she is the star of this reunion? There she is, sitting in the supremo spot next to Andy Cohen, and at this point 3/4 of the reunion has been dedicated to dissecting Vicki’s antics and her fights on the show.
Part 2 was all about Vicki’s failed friendship with Kelly Dodd, and once again they promised to bury the hatchet
in each other’s backs. First, though, they rehash the train rumor, the cocaine allegation, the throw mama down the stairs off a train tale, the broken hand in a bar con-woman catfight… You know, all the classics!
Wow – last night’s Real Housewives Of Orange County reunion was vicious on a level I haven’t seen since the heyday of Real Housewives Of New Jersey!
Vicki Gunvalson had a full-fledged meltdown, was stripped bare, and we were left with the skeletal remains of her original face. It continues in Part 2! Vicki’s entire identity is wrapped up in RHOC so when threatened with that loss, her true self came skulking out with a vengeance. Think Golom chasing the golden ring. I gotta say – I sort of love it. Part 1 of this trilogy, it was the Tres Amigas vs Kelly Dodd, with a little bit of Emily and Gina by their side. And it looks like Part 2 goes even darker.
First of all for the outfits, everyone looked awful. I actually thought Vicki and Emily Simpson, in their velvet dresses looked the best, but Emily’s makeup looked like she let Shane apply it as part of some trust therapy session. Emily and Shane are the new David and Shannon Beador. ‘Studying for the bar’ is Shane’s version of an affair, being that he’s Mormon and all. He’s so checked out of that marriage he might as well be in Italy frolicking naked in the forrest with his new girlfriend. Don’t forget the sock!
Last night was the season finale of Real Housewives Of Orange County and with all the chaos, the only thing I could think about was that Gina Kirschenheiter is actually MOVING her word art collection. Like it’s priceless art. Frankly I’m surprised she wasn’t selling it to Sothebys. But seriously you guys, just like her marriage and her ex-man, that stuff is garbage!
Gina decided to reconcile with Matt, and she is glowing like a teenager with a crush as she tells Emily Simpson that he’s truly changed. Gina believes this is a second chance at their marriage. They’ve sold their Coto home and are moving some place new and fresh, and Gina doesn’t even worry about what Matt’s doing in LA.
Well, just like Gina cut the dead ends off her hair, she needs to cut off Matt! Emily knows this, but she tries to be supportive. We can see in others what we can’t see in ourselves, right!
Last week’s episode of Real Housewives of Orange County ended with Vicki Gunvalson’s annual vacation tradition: an ambulance trip. She slipped and fell after a fully-clothed drunken swim. Is it even an RHOC cast trip if Vicki isn’t hospitalized at least once?
Meanwhile, Vicki makes additional moves to secure screen time during tonight’s new episode. She hands out hats with descriptions to each of the girls. Hers says “Engaged AF,” of course. Shannon Beador’s says “Single AF.” Tamra Judge gets a hat that reads “Married AF.” And then Vicki gives Kelly Dodd a hat that says “Krazy AF,” which Vicki didn’t find offensive since she spelled the word “crazy” with a “k” instead of a “c.” Meanwhile, Kelly (and the viewers) see that this is another attempt to rile Kelly up and get her to flip out.
If you crammed any more drama, hijinks, meltdowns, and hysterias (and medical issues!) into this episode of Real Housewives Of Orange County I think it would explode a la Kelly Dodd after 2 cocktails and exposure to a snarky meme. Things would just come flying out, every which way, and the only thing that would be left standing amid the rubble would be Tamra Judge and the two giant inflatable jugs she has strapped to her chest as a bullet-proof vest/getaway life raft.
I literally can’t even begin to dissect all the switching animosities and loyalties, but all I have to say is Tamra is masterful at manipulating these women in a tizzy of stupidity. And Kyle Richards thinks Lisa Vanderpump plays chess…
You guys I’m sorry – I am having Thanksgiving fever and 15 houseguests, and I just cannot get it together with the Real Housewives Of Orange County nonsense today.
Tamra Judge and Kelly Dodd are like your mother and your mother-in-law at the same holiday dinner. They’re not gonna speak or look at each other. But, they are going to viciously jab from all corners until it all comes bubbling to the surface over the way to make gravy or something.
Braunwyn Windham-Burke invited all the women to Miami so they can understand her better. Apparently, we’re now defining our personalities by cities, so Braunwyn is a Miami person. In Miami, she liked having sex with her husband, clubbed constantly, and wore skanky clothes to the grocery store. Whereas in Orange County, Braunwyn has to hide her wild side? I don’t get it… How was Braunwyn doing all this partying in between 52 pregnancies, nursing 19 babies, and also well, ostensibly, parenting? We don’t ever get a clear answer about why they left Miami, just like we don’t get a clear answer about why this is the sad-sack trip RHOC got this season. I blame Tamra because I blame her for everything.
Kelly Dodd has Ramona Singer to thank for introducing her to new fiancé Rick Leventhal. Yes, Ramona the woman who won’t let anyone else on Real Housewives of New York get a modicum male attention is actually a successful matchmaker.
Rick and Kelly started dating after they met in the Hamptons at the end of the summer and their relationship has moved at lightning pace. They got engaged after just a few months together and Rick hasn’t really met Kelly’s daughter Jolie. Yes, they’ve FaceTimed, but that’s it. Wow. At least, Jolie will (obviously) have some role in the wedding festivities, but what about the Housewives? Obviously, Vicki Gunvalson and Tamra Judge are not going to plan a bachelorette party. Vicki did say that Kelly got engaged for a storyline, after all.