This may sound a bit odd, but I've taken to thinking of Teen Mom 2 (actually the entire franchise) as MTV's personal Truman Show. It's not true, it's just the network's way of punking everyone everywhere. In fact, it's getting to be the only way I can rationalize these girls and their unapologetically abhorrent behavior (that includes you, Farrah Abraham!). It has to be some sort of joke or satirical take on modern society, right?
In my head, Jenelle Evans is using this as her doctoral thesis, and Leah Messer Sims Calvert is planning to use her footage to create a poignant yet ironic documentary on the importance of self-esteem and the teenage girl. Kailyn Lowry is working undercover to fix glitches in the family court that allow one parent to abuse the legal system just to get back at the ex who scorned them…she's good at her job, by the way. Finally, Chelsea Houska is having the last laugh, as she's actually fluent in eight languages (whining is the ninth!), and she's testing a scientific theory regarding how high pitched and nasally a voice must be before viewers press the mute button. Well played, ladies. Well played. Too bad my alternate Teen Mom universe is just one blogger's sad delusions. 🙂
So, let's get to last night's episode, shall we? Jenelle is recovering from her boob job, and she can't wait until she's fully recovered so she can spend some time with Jace. Sadly, that won't happen until the poor child is at least eighteen. Gary is taking good care of her, and Jenelle wants to talk about three things: 1) Kieffer; 2) what Gary thinks of her new ta-tas; and 3) Kieffer. Oh, wait… Kieffer has been texting Jenelle, and Gary isn't willing to lose his "career" to fight with such a loser if he decides to come visit. He'd rather get back to checking out Jenelle's new rack.
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