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The second part of the Bad Girls Club reunion only made me slightly want to move into a cabin in the woods and check out of society, but it was still more of the same. A few of you commented about why I preferred Mimi to Camilla, and I stick to my story. Fighting and acting like a sped-up psychopath isn’t fun, but watching chicks do shots and get into trouble: way more up my alley.
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The Bad Girls Club reunion last night made me embarrassed to be a member of the human race.
Hosted by the most famous Bad Girl alum, Tanisha Thomas, we didn’t learn anything new or accomplish anything on this reunion. Or, if anything got said, it was totally lost because the girls could not stop fighting. Real Housewives reunions at least have a debriefing feel to them, especially as Andy Cohen plays back well-produced montages of the season. In contrast, this reunion only served to provoke the girls to fight more, about shit that was totally meaningless. To make matters worse, it’s filmed in front of a snickering studio audience. And one thing all the bad girls have is an overwhelming insecurity.
They brought out all of the girls from this season, including Jenna and Christine, two cast members I’d completely forgotten about. They also brought out the sponge bob twins, Gabi and Dani, who hilariously called themselves the “stars” of this season since they participated in the “biggest bad girls club fight in history.” There’s something to take off your bucket list! Participated in violent, televised fight before expressing deep yearning for a Chipotle burrito!
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Oh, this show. Why are these ladies so angry? They live in a mansion and get paid to party and spend eight hours a day doing their makeup. And yet, everything makes them so upset. On last night’s Bad Girls Club, the reactions to Spongebob Twin replacements Camilla and Christine covered a whole range of emotions until it culminated into yet another pointless physical attack. When will they realize psychological torture is far more effective?
In any case, you can’t feel too bad for the new girls. At eight seasons, they–like Top Chef contestants who cry at the mention of having to make a pound cake–should know what to expect. Both girls predictably acted confident and cocky in their intro talking heads, and appear to get along when they first meet each other for a drink, but that solidarity ends up being very short lived. Both girls walk into the house, cheery and excited, Christine clutching a bottle of whatever cheap champagne was on sale that day, and the rest of the girls remain firmly planted in bed.
It becomes obvious that Christine will be the odd bad girl out. She’s too drunk, too enthusiastic, and too eager to please. Now, the producers probably told the new girls to act that way to provoke the remaining tired, bitchy cast members, but Christine really took it to the next level. She really shows herself when, upon hearing Erica is from “Atlanta New York,” she says “I didn’t know there was an Atlanta in New York.” Erica huffily responds that she is from New York, but lives in Atlanta like we are all supposed to decode her ginger language, which apparently doesn’t use complete sentences.
The two new girls head out to the Blue Martini–this show’s version of Jersey Shore’s Karma–and Christine keeps drinking. This is where Camilla realizes that Christine can’t hold her booze and will probably not be a good ally in the house. The first test the bad girls have set up for the new girls is what they will do about the bed situation. There is only one bed left, previously shared by Gabi and Dani, and Erica says they are watching them to see if they will fight over the bed or if they will just share. And of course, they share. They get home from the bar and Camilla dumps Christine’s falling over drunk ass.
The next day, Christine, still dressed in her tight dress from the night before, calls home and announces she’s ready to leave. Well, that didn’t take long. She’s convinced to stay one more day and finds comfort with Amy, who tells her not to let anyone else in the house see her cry.
Over on the B-plot, Gia notices her special friend DJ Matt is being, in her words, a “Twitter ho.” Unlike a lot of these kinds of reality shows, they do let the girls use email, and apparently, read social media, but as Gia said, they just can’t use them while they are in the house. Interesting! Anyway, she decides she’s over Matt and wants some a new toy. She, Erica, and Amy go out to eat at some product-placed burger chain in a strip mall, and just so happen to run into producer, Jazz Lazer, who just happens to know Gia’s name! That’s such a coincidence.
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When we were last at the Home For Wayward Girls aka the Bad Girls Club, the Spongebob Twins, Gabi and Dani were hiding out in some garage talking to a show producer. He ended up taking them to a hotel for the night. We open up last night’s episode with the girls returning from their night away.
At this point, the talking heads are all so repetitive: the twins hate everyone and the rest of the girls hate them. While talking to the twins, Elease forgets she is on a low-budget trashy reality show and tries to tell the twins that the others wouldn’t hate them if they weren’t so awful. Gabi tells her that this is the bad girls club and that she will call everyone else out as “fake” if she wants to. Elease immediately calls her sister Shneal, who encourages Elease to jump them, and the two begin laughing hysterically as they yell out suggestions like using pepper spray. I didn’t realize Bad Girls Club was code for Girls Who Like To Assault People.
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Last night’s episode of Bad Girls Club may have ruined Mexico-U.S. relations forever. Someone get Ms. Hillary Clinton on the phone because we may need her to mediate. It wasn’t enough that the people of Havasu, Arizona had to endure the “bad girls,” but why involve Mexico? Have they not been through enough?
Before the girls got to go on vacation, the first half of the episode focuses on another barrage of petty fights about nothing. We open with the twins at the makeup table complaining that someone took their makeup. They even claim to have done “inventory” like either of them know what that word means. Dani (or Gabi? who can tell) stomps off into Erica‘s room and recovers the missing Mac eyeshadow – since apparently she had purchased the only one available in the world.
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It’s time for the most intellectually stimulating show on television, Bad Girls Club! First, I want to say that the editing on this show is so annoying, all kinds of things are shown out-of-order. Do the editors think I can’t notice, especially when they are either in pajamas or in full makeup and club gear?
We open last night with Erica trying to leave the house alone to go to the mall. She’s over the twins and throws a fit when they try to crash her solo shopping trip. And who can blame her, if those two were driving me to the emergency room, I would wait for an ambulance to take me instead, that’s how horrible and whiny they are.
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