Bethenny Frankel and Luann de Lesseps can never stay on the same page for too long. They’re on good terms for a while, and something goes horribly wrong. Neither ever want to be wrong so that could factor into how frequently they butt heads. However, The Real Housewives of New York City wouldn’t be the same without them.
As soon as the season started, everyone was VERY over Luann and her cabaret. For Bethenny, life is not and never will be a cabaret. For Luann though, it’s everything. It was only a matter of time before frustrations boiled over, and boy did they ever. THAT Miami dinner will go down as one of the craziest moments in Real Housewives history.
Life may not be a cabaret, but this season of Real Housewives of New York basically was. Luann de Lesseps’ Countess and Friends show was the talk of the season. She was very proud of her ever-expanding act, but the other ladies were just tired of hearing about it.
During one episode, they joked about drinking every time the word “cabaret” was uttered. That is a dangerous idea, especially since every single one of them mentioned it many times over. The cabaret madness all came to a head during Bethenny Frankel’s diatribe in Miami. Just like the rest of us, Lu has been watching the season. And, believe it or not, she knows exactly how she comes across. Luann broke down the fourth wall during an exclusive interview with Reality Tea.
Last night was the season finale of Real Housewives Of New York, which was about as bad a news a girl can receive. I should probably just console myself by investing in a Countess Candle. After all, Luann de Lesseps is my personal idol of how not to behave and why.
It’s the day before the infamous Christmas Cabaret and Luann is in rare form, gliding into the Gramercy Theater wearing a fabulous cape – like a true diva. Next Luann will be getting one of those long cigarette holders (please let this happen). Luann’s weary assistant, the Countess Corraller, is stationed outside her dressing room overseeing the vast collection of Luann-centric products: statement necklaces, t-shirts, and of course the candles, but this is a mere rehearsal before the big show.
Dorinda Medley and Sonja Morgan take time out of their busy lives for a little pampering, i.e. Coolsculpting which freezes their fat cells so they can metabolize them, then pee them out. If only I could do this with ice cream! Also Real Housewives science, as departed by a doctor we’re supposed to find sexy is always the best.
Miami is where souls go to die on Real Housewives Of New York. People are arrested. People are swept up in tsunami-like rages. And people pose decadently and cluelessly in front of their cabaret posters in the middle of the street.
Last night gave us the full spectrum of why Real Housewives Of New York are the alpha Housewives. One minute people are shaking with sobs, the next they’re shoving their dogs in a home freezer, then putting on thong leotards for a little 80’s throwback workout.
It’s that time again – time for Luann de Lesseps to head back to the studio to record another Real Housewives Of New York anthem!
Fresh from her massive fallout with Bethenny Frankel in Miami, Luann struggles with how to react and almost turns back to drinking, but resilient as ever The Countess channels her anguish into her art with a sobriety-inspired song! Meanwhile Tinsley Mortimer is tired of being the butt of everyone’s jokes about what a prude she is and tries to prove her adventurous side with a racy moment.
*sigh* So many thoughts about last night’s episode of Real Housewives Of New York. SO. MANY. THOUGHTS. And even more questions!
Does Luann de Lesseps deserve the wrath of hungover Housewives? Does air conditioner make Sonja Morgan poof or poop? Does Bethenny Frankel see Luann as her human sounding board – the one person resilient enough to take all the tantrums Bethenny’s mother ignored as she headed out to the clubs or on a date; giving Bethenny free-reign to project all of her childhood emotions.
Also, it occurs to me, that Bethenny probably married her mother and her father in Jason Hoppy, who seems diabolical, but also really disinterested in her melodrama, and Bethenny needs someone to give validity to her hysteria or else she thinks they don’t ‘hear’ her.
The Real Housewives Of New York don’t even have to leave their luxury beach house to have insane, intense, authentic drama. The Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills can travel halfway around the world, be in insanely luxe settings, and still can’t make anything interesting occur.
Tonight the Real Housewives Of New York are still terrorizing Miami and if you can believe it they’ve only been there two days real time! After Sonja Morgan got so drunk she needed paramedics, Bethenny Frankel, Ramona Singer, and Luann de Lesseps sit her down to warn her about the perils of alcoholism. Not all alkies wind up being a cabaret star, you know!
Since Katie Maloney and Tom Schwartz’s joint bachelor/bachelorette party went so well, the Vanderpump Rules cast decided to apply the same concept in honor of Jax Taylor and Brittany Cartwright’s big day. In case you didn’t detect my sarcasm, or if you’re a new viewer, Tom and Katie’s party was a complete and total shit show.
Yes, in a fun way, but also in a cringe-worthy way, i.e. the arguments. It was rough to see Tom and Katie arguing just before they tied the knot. Who could ever forget Tom Sandoval dressed in drag yelling about how Schwartz is a “battered wife”? Let’s hope that Jax and Brittany’s joint party was not reminiscent of Tom and Katie’s trip.