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June Foster

When June Foster joined the cast of Below Deck Mediterranean this season, the only person who was at-all excited about it was Colin Macy-O’Toole. He was elated to have another American on the Sirocco and he hoped she wasn’t into the dirty sex talk like his coworkers.

Who was the least excited about June joining the crew? It has to be a tie between Chief Stew Hannah Ferrier and June herself. Hannah was miffed to lose Anastasia Surmava, who was the only competent Third Stew Hannah ever worked with on this show. June just didn’t seem enthusiastic in general. About anything. What was going on there? Was she high during charter?

Below Deck Mediterranean Johnny Damon

Oh Below Deck Mediterranean – sailing through some of the most beautiful scenery in the world with some of the most hideous peopleJohnny Damon‘s wife needs to literally take several seats. Preferably on a yacht she actually owns.

I don’t know what is going on with this boat, but the constantly twisted up anchor seems to be a metaphor for the crew as well. Anastasia Surmava is now officially WAAAAY too big for her britches, but her britches are probably a thong bikini bottoms, so…  Last week Anastasia was panicking over a unicorn cake. Now, she’s marching into the Michelin Star Service Station – without her chef’s coat! – to announce that she’s here to pick up her stars. Everything Anastasia served last night was a disappointment and the guests – bless their grimy, probably sexually unsatisfied hearts – were right to complain to Captain Sandy Yawn.

Chefs of the Below Deck: If we can make it at home using a Pinterest recipe we do not want to eat it on a yacht!! 

Below Deck Mediterranean Mid-Season Trailer Released

The Below Deck Mediterranean season thus-far has given us unprecedented reality TV moments. Mila Kolomeitseva served Taco Bell-style food on a luxury  Jack Stirrup spit into Aesha Scott’s belly button.  He’ll soon be sucking her toes too, as evidenced by the footage in the mid-season trailer.

Whatever your thoughts about the quirky courtship of Jack and Aesha, that’s just the tip of the iceberg.  The trailer is a great teaser of hookups, tears, and drunken antics.  But the most exciting moment comes at the very end when a very familiar voice is says, “hello lovelies.”

Joao Franco - Below Deck Mediterranean

On last night’s Below Deck Mediterranean the cracks started to show with an overworked crew and an under qualified chef!

The episode opened with June Foster literally fleeing the dinner table to puke in a trashcan. I thought Bravo was setting us up for some enormous reveal. June is pregnant! Hannah Ferrier fed her a bad oyster! Jackie Seigel‘s ring had poison in it (and who tried to poison Jackie!?)! June had an allergic reaction to spray tan! The thought of dating Colin Macy-O’Toole made June gag.

But re: June and Colin getting together. Have you ever seen two such American smiles? They both have a full set of gator chompers. Teeth so white and straight and perfectly stylized by precision American orthodonistry that a full set of false teeth would just pop out of June’s uterus. 

June Foster - Below Deck Mediterranean

I can’t figure out who is crazier on Below Deck Mediterranean: new third stew June Foster or billionaire charter guest Jackie Siegel. These two are two urchins in a reef who live in their own worlds – it’s probably better that they stay there instead of permeating ours.

The trek to picnic at Eze continues. Up a mountain, down a mountain, up a mountain, down a mountain, up an inflatable slide, down an inflatable… Oh wait, haha! That’s only for half the crew! The rest of the crew is on a particularly odious Amazing Race challenge featuring deck chairs and how many can be carried at once without a leg being broken (the chair’s or the human’s – doesn’t matter!).

Joao Franco and the rest of the team at Eze finally get everything to the top (with Jackie is whining for food like a petulant child) that there’s no cutlery and no one is answering the radio because Captain Sandy Yawn has them all frolicking in the water under the auspice of crew training. Or producers just wanted another opportunity to showcase Anastasia Surmava in a thong bikini.

Hannah Ferrier & Jackie Siegel on Below Deck Mediterranean

Last night’s Below Deck Mediterranean was a delight, let me tell you! When the Queen of Versailles comes on board everything must be top notch. Let the commoners eat leftover cake. Literally.

Sirocco is a ship of change and fools. The number one fool being Joao Franco who could only keep his dark side hidden for so long. All those tears he cried to Captain Sandy Yawn about being a changed man were swiftly undone by a few errant shots of vodka. Jezabob returns and comes out swinging! YUCK.

First Joao starts with Anastasia Surmava. In Joao’s esteemed opinion beacuse Anastasia is not a 7-star chef she had no business accepting the promotion. OK, exactly what is a 7-star chef and what type of professional of this caliber would be working on a reality TV charter yacht for people like Jackie Siegel? [Crickets] 

June Foster joins Below Deck Mediterranean

Lots of exciting happenings tonight on Below Deck Mediterranean – from the infamous charter guests to a new stewardess joining the crew of the Sirocco!

With Anastasia Surmava promoted to chef Captain Sandy Yawn has scoured the world (or Monster.com) for a new third stew who’s available to start mid-season. Sandy hires June Foster sight unseen – and lets hope the globe-trotter originally from Arizona doesn’t make too many waves because Hannah Ferrier is not happy to have changes to her interior crew!

Ashley Brinton Below Deck

When Ashley Brinton and her family arrived in the French Riviera to film her music video, the Below Deck Mediterranean crew and viewers thought they knew how the story would play out. There have been plenty of “spoiled” rich people on these yachts. The expected lack of awareness coupled with rudeness makes for good TV.

However, that was not the case with Ashley. Sure, she has a leg up on most teens looking to break into the music industry, but she had such a great attitude about everything, and, yes, believe it or not, pristine manners as well. She was so vocal about how grateful she was for every single thing the crew did. They didn’t even mind being in the background of the video or helping with production. Confused deckhand Colin Macy-O’Toole even thought he was a “fluffer” on set, which was so not the accurate description. In an exclusive interview with Reality Tea, Ashley dished on her time with the Below Deck Mediterranean crew, including the behind-the-scenes drama in the kitchen.