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France

Joao Franco

Below Deck Mediterranean star, Joao Franco is no stranger to perilous situations. As he became close with Brooke Laughton last season, Joao opened up about his difficult childhood in Zimbabwe. He described having a gun held to his head during a robbery in which his mother was also attacked.

Joao lives in Florida now, as many yachties do in between charter seasons.  Life there has not been free of drama.  Last year, Joao was out partying with Below Deck bosun Ross Inia when the latter was arrested.  Joao managed to avoid trouble since Ross’s arrest in December 2018, but that all changed recently.

Camille Grammer Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills

At long last this season of Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills has come to an end. After how stagnant the last few seasons have been change finally happened when Lisa Vanderpump left the show. Love LVP, or hate her, and she’s certainly manipulative, but are Teddi Mellencamp Arroyave and Dorit Kemsley really victims? Big. Fat. Unaccountable. NO.

That was truly one of the most boring season finales I’ve ever witnessed, and I realized I don’t actually like any of these women. I also wonder what they’re going to do next season when scapegoats LVP and Camille Grammer don’t come back. We all know the producers are going to demand and insist that the women turn on one of their bosom buddies. Good thing all their bosoms are fake!

My theory is that Denise Richards will elevate herself into the New Brandi Glanville. Nu-Ville? Like Nu Villean. And we all know Kyle Richards is going to be upping her anxiety meds due to panic attacks that Lisa Rinna will try to wrench the crown off her helicopter hair whip in a coup to be the queen bee of RHOBH. Kyle is allergic to bees, you guys!

Captain Sandy Yawn - Below Deck Mediterranean

This season on Below Deck Mediterranean, the drama has been all about the food. As in, food that was not up to charter guest standards–or even high school cafeteria standards. At least until third stew Anastasia Surmava took over the galley and upgraded the charter dining experience to Applebee’s level. The original chef, Mila Kolomeitseva, served up grub that fell somewhere between Banquet frozen meals and Spam Casserole on the culinary scale–and that is being generous.

As fine cuisine is one of the most important parts of the charter guest experience, it was surprising to see Captain Sandy Yawn give Mila chance after chance before throwing her permanently overboard. Captain Sandy’s hesitation to fire Mila left many viewers scratching their heads, wondering, what was she thinking?

Joao Franco Below Deck Mediterranean

On last night’s Below Deck Mediterranean the topsy-turvy crew continued to churn out amazing results, but the cracks started showing in the most delightful way when an overworked Joao Franco let his facade slip.

Even Captain Sandy Yawn is starting to crack. And in her exhaustion Sandy starts making ridiculous demands like moving the boat 15 inches to provide better scenery for the background of guest Ashley Brinton‘s music video.

Curled up on the deck of the Sirocco, like the guts of a sea monster, is the anchor chain. Colin Macy-O’Toole was distracted trying to do the work of 2 deckhands, after being woken up in the middle of the night, and somehow the anchor got twisted and knotted up. Just like a third stew became a chef, and the lead deckhand became basically a lunch lady doling out fruit cups and crispy chicken sandwiches to the crew.

Jack Stirrup - Below Deck Mediterranean

The crew continues to be strained on tonight’s Below Deck Mediterranean and that means tempers are flaring as everyone juggles extra duties to make up their shortage of chef!

Luckily Anastasia Surmava, with the help of Travis Michalzik, is killing it in the kitchen! The guests are thrilled, and Captain Sandy Yawn is ready to relax. Now if only the pesky anchors and the deck crews controlling them would cooperate!

Chef Mila is fired on Below Deck Mediterranean

It’s all happening on, Below Deck Mediterranean! It’s all happening! By that I mean all the foods are shedding their processed confines, their cellophane packaging, and their cringing horror at letting Mila Kolomeitseva be the death of them, because she was fired. Oh, sorry, not to sound like Aesha Scott, but I blew my wad too soon by releasing this spoiler in the very first sentence. Cause premature information!

Anyway, after flunking another charter and serving the guests barely edible food (even with Anastasia Surmava taking over half of dinner) Mila begs Captain Sandy Yawn for another chance to redeem herself. Mila promises to stay up all night watching cooking vids on YouTube, for things like, um, searing salmon, or dicing onions, or the delicate art of Betty Crocker cake mix, but Sandy can’t risk another charter going down in flames over microwaved steaks. 

Captain Sandy Yawn - Below Deck Mediterranean

Tonight on Below Deck Mediterranean there’s a crew shakeup that will leave everyone reeling (I don’t think I need to bother with a spoiler alert since this is so obvious!)

After another disastrous charter from chef Mila Kolomeitseva, the time has come for Captain Sandy Yawn to do something drastic. With less than 24 hours before the new guests come on board Anastasia Surmava is thrown into the frying pan. Literally. Can she hack it? Or is it Mila 2.0?

Dorit Kemsley Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills

Last night the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills finally got the bloody confrontation they’ve been snarling for all season, but more importantly someone finally called Dorit Kemsley out on being a fraudster!

Lisa Vanderpump unhelpfully extracted herself from this mess, then Camille Grammer‘s house burned down so the planned confrontation in France was ruined, and these women have been floundering for what to do. It’s not like they can just go live interesting lives with earnest drama. No, they have to pretend their lives are perfect, and have a target for phony argument. They tried with Erika Jayne last week, but Erika took a cue from LVP and simply dismissed them, but back in Beverly Hills there is still Camille….

I hate to be a meanie pants, but was there anything more delightfully Camille Grammer than learning that Camille Grammer is actually close friends with someone PK Kemsley owes over a million dollars to? In a way it came at a rather disappointing time, as the last couple episodes I’ve actually kind of enjoyed Dorit, and not even in a ‘what a terribly amazing imbecile of a character’ she is kind of way, but sincerely.