Last night on Real Housewives of New Jersey, we were reminded of why Danielle Staub is basically the worst – and that she’s truly in her element while on stage with men gyrating all over her. Since that’s exactly what the ladies served up for her bachelorette party, we got to see the many faces of Danielle go from full on rage to frightening glee all within a 30 minute timeframe. Even though Margaret Josephs was the ambassador of Danielle’s dreams, all she had to show for it at the end of the episode was a huge party planning bill and a chewing out.
Margaret was also put in charge of buying penis straws and dildos for Danielle’s big night. So we find her in the store looking for the “classy” items Danielle would approve of. Ahh…’twill be a night to remember! They shall celebrate Danielle’s last night of freedom in style before her marriage to Marty Caffrey, which will last approximately 4 seconds before restraining orders and divorce papers are filed. But who’s counting?
If the Real Housewives of New Jersey haven’t been banned from the fly-over states, it’s a corn shucking miracle! Poor Oklahoma is still dealing with the weaves and wackiness from last week’s episode as the ladies head off to a tense dinner. Margaret Josephs is happy to hear that Teresa Giudice and Melissa Gorga seemed to have smoothed over their argument…although Tre is unaware of how riled up Joe Gorga is after hearing Melissa’s rehash of the nasty breakfast. At the restaurant, Jennifer Aydin is talking about her ginormous house. She has to have an extra “wife” to cook and clean her seven bedroom house. She even has cameras in every room and she does random bag checks before the nanny heads out for the evening. Jackie Goldschneider finds it frighteningly hilarious that Jennifer trusts the nanny with her children but not with her collection of Chanel.
To change the subject, Margaret enlists the ladies in a game of two truths and a lie. Her statements: she used to fool around with her high school gym teacher, she’s only done cocaine once, and her ex-husband used to lock her in a closet when she made him angry. The women are surprised to hear her lie was the gym teacher. They can’t imagine feisty Margaret putting up with that in her marriage. No one believes Dolores Catania when she states she had sex with her ex-husband/roommate Frank Catania last week. Jennifer goes for shock value with tales of playing the submissive to her bestie’s dominatrix, getting a butt lift, and pooping herself in traffic. She was lying about the butt lift. Jennifer was wild before she met her ultra-conservative husband.
At Melissa Gorga’s house, Jackie Goldschneidershows up and talks about how hard it is to be parents of twins. Jackie writes about parenting and her husband works in finance. Melissa talks about her improved relationship with Teresa Guidice. Foreshadowing much?
Well, maybe I have some outside confirmation of that aside from the episode itself. The social media posts and interview quotes make it clear that these three are on the same page this season. At least for the most part. The same can’t be said for Jackie and other cast members. She stayed out of the drama during her first episode, but it’s coming. Of course.
Danielle was talking to anyone who would listen about Dolores Catania’s ex-husband/current roomie Frank Catania getting disbarred. Danielle’s bridesmaids Margaret Josephs and Teresa Giudice seemed overwhelmed by her wedding planning demands. Not much happened, but the are laying the groundwork for future drama. Plus they threw two new girls in the mix, which has to really sting for Danielle. This is her second season as a “Friend of the Housewives,” yet Jackie Goldschneiderand Jennifer Aydin are full-time cast members.
Teresa and Dina are still close, but she has made it very clear that she cannot stand OG cast members Jacqueline and Caroline. Even Teresa’s sister-in-law Melissa Gorga has issues with Jacqueline, although she is open to a Caroline comeback. Someone else who wants Caroline to return to the reality TV show is Dolores Catania. Not only that, but she wants Jacqueline back in the picture as well. Season 9 has already wrapped up filming, but bringing back the two OG’s sounds like a guarantee for drama for Season 10.
For the most part, the story lines for the next Real Housewives of New Jersey have been kept under wraps, but some things have leaked, of course. Teresa Giudice has pulled a Tamra Judge. Before you jump to a bunch of conclusions about what that may mean, all I’m saying is that she just competed in a bodybuilding competition.
Teresa had her brother Joe Gorga and sister-in-law Melissa Gorgaon hand for support. Teresa’s costar Dolores Catania was also there since her son Frankie competed, which means more shirtless Frankie scenes to bless the fandom.