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Last night on Real Housewives of New Jersey, we were reminded of why Danielle Staub is basically the worst – and that she’s truly in her element while on stage with men gyrating all over her. Since that’s exactly what the ladies served up for her bachelorette party, we got to see the many faces of Danielle go from full on rage to frightening glee all within a 30 minute timeframe. Even though Margaret Josephs was the ambassador of Danielle’s dreams, all she had to show for it at the end of the episode was a huge party planning bill and a chewing out.

Margaret was also put in charge of buying penis straws and dildos for Danielle’s big night. So we find her in the store looking for the “classy” items Danielle would approve of. Ahh…’twill be a night to remember! They shall celebrate Danielle’s last night of freedom in style before her marriage to Marty Caffrey, which will last approximately 4 seconds before restraining orders and divorce papers are filed. But who’s counting?

Real Housewives Of New Jersey Recap: Bathrooms And Bull

If the Real Housewives of New Jersey haven’t been banned from the fly-over states, it’s a corn shucking miracle! Poor Oklahoma is still dealing with the weaves and wackiness from last week’s episode as the ladies head off to a tense dinner. Margaret Josephs is happy to hear that Teresa Giudice and Melissa Gorga seemed to have smoothed over their argument…although Tre is unaware of how riled up Joe Gorga is after hearing Melissa’s rehash of the nasty breakfast. At the restaurant, Jennifer Aydin is talking about her ginormous house. She has to have an extra “wife” to cook and clean her seven bedroom house. She even has cameras in every room and she does random bag checks before the nanny heads out for the evening. Jackie Goldschneider finds it frighteningly hilarious that Jennifer trusts the nanny with her children but not with her collection of Chanel.

To change the subject, Margaret enlists the ladies in a game of two truths and a lie. Her statements: she used to fool around with her high school gym teacher, she’s only done cocaine once, and her ex-husband used to lock her in a closet when she made him angry. The women are surprised to hear her lie was the gym teacher. They can’t imagine feisty Margaret putting up with that in her marriage. No one believes Dolores Catania when she states she had sex with her ex-husband/roommate Frank Catania last week. Jennifer goes for shock value with tales of playing the submissive to her bestie’s dominatrix, getting a butt lift, and pooping herself in traffic. She was lying about the butt lift. Jennifer was wild before she met her ultra-conservative husband.

Real Housewives of New Jersey Recap: Danielle Hits Below the Belt and Has a Tantrum — In Other Words, It’s Another Day

On last night’s Real Housewives of New JerseyMargaret Josephs and Joe Beningo  go to a tattoo parlor. Joe wants to get their wedding anniversary tattooed around his finger.

At Melissa Gorga’s house, Jackie Goldschneider shows up and talks about how hard it is to be parents of twins. Jackie writes about parenting and her husband works in finance.  Melissa talks about her improved relationship with Teresa Guidice. Foreshadowing much?

Jackie Goldschneider Shares Her First Impressions Of The New Jersey Housewives

Real Housewives of New Jersey viewers “met” Jackie Goldschneider during the Season 9 premiere episode. Margaret Josephs introduced Jackie to the cast. She got along with Melissa Gorga right away. It was clear immediately that Jackie, Margaret, and Melissa will end up as a trio this season.

Well, maybe I have some outside confirmation of that aside from the episode itself. The social media posts and interview quotes make it clear that these three are on the same page this season. At least for the most part. The same can’t be said for Jackie and other cast members. She stayed out of the drama during her first episode, but it’s coming. Of course.

Danielle Staub Favors Jennifer Aydin Over Jackie Goldschneider

Even though Danielle Staub is not a full-time cast member on Real Housewives of New Jersey, she always brings it. During the Season 9 premiere episode, there was some major foreshadowing for drama.

Danielle was talking to anyone who would listen about Dolores Catania’s ex-husband/current roomie Frank Catania getting disbarred. Danielle’s bridesmaids Margaret Josephs and Teresa Giudice seemed overwhelmed by her wedding planning demands. Not much happened, but the are laying the groundwork for future drama. Plus they threw two new girls in the mix, which has to really sting for Danielle. This is her second season as a “Friend of the Housewives,” yet Jackie Goldschneider and Jennifer Aydin are full-time cast members.

Dolores Catania Says It Would Be “World War III” If Caroline Manzo & Jacqueline Laurita Return To Real Housewives Of New Jersey For Season 10

Real Housewives of New Jersey has always had a strong emphasis on family. The relationships between the early cast members of this show run deep and there is a lot of genuine animosity along with some strong love. At the beginning of the series, Teresa Giudice was considered family by Caroline Manzo, Dina Manzo, and their sister-in-law Jacqueline Laurita.

Teresa and Dina are still close, but she has made it very clear that she cannot stand OG cast members Jacqueline and Caroline. Even Teresa’s sister-in-law Melissa Gorga has issues with Jacqueline, although she is open to a Caroline comeback. Someone else who wants Caroline to return to the reality TV show is Dolores Catania. Not only that, but she wants Jacqueline back in the picture as well. Season 9 has already wrapped up filming, but bringing back the two OG’s sounds like a guarantee for drama for Season 10.

Instagram Roundup:

After years of hating on Lala Kent for her private jet access, all of the female cast members from Vanderpump Rules caved and took her up on the offer to take a trip in the PJ. Yes, you read that right: ALL of the female cast members from Vanderpump Rules were on the same trip. Stassi Schroeder, Brittany Cartwright, Scheana Marie, Ariana Madix, Kristen Doute,  and Katie Maloney all went on a girls trip- which was hopefully filmed for the show and chock full of some drama.

Other reality TV stars enjoyed the best of what the summer  weather has to offer. Teen Mom cast member Leah Messer took her three daughters to the beach. Real Housewives of Orange County alum Heather Dubrow enjoyed some pool time with her daughters. New Jersey Housewife Teresa Giudice played on the beach with her youngest daughter Audriana Giudice.

Teresa Giudice & Dolores Catania’s Son Frankie Competed In A Bodybuilding Competition

 

For the most part, the story lines for the next Real Housewives of New Jersey have been kept under wraps, but some things have leaked, of course. Teresa Giudice has pulled a Tamra Judge. Before you jump to a bunch of conclusions about what that may mean, all I’m saying is that she just competed in a bodybuilding competition.

Teresa had her brother Joe Gorga and sister-in-law Melissa Gorga on hand for support. Teresa’s costar Dolores Catania was also there since her son Frankie competed, which means more shirtless Frankie scenes to bless the fandom.