Greece

Below Deck Sailing Yacht Recap: Sweet Dreams

5 months

Well the day has finally arrived when Jenna MacGillivray and Adam Glick pushed things too far on Below Deck Sailing Yacht. Karma, my friends, is blowing in the winds!

I just cannot even with the sheer ridiculousness of Jenna and Adam. Here is Jenna abandoning her job to the underlings – literally leaving a third stew with little serving experience to manage a table full of guests – while she goes and has a conversation with Adam about the wall he has built around himself to keep out love. IT HAS BEEN SIX WEEKS.

I get it — being on yacht time is like being in a time warp where the normal rules don’t exist. I mean, we’ve had people demanding tickets to Prague and all sorts of hootenanny over yachtmances, but Jenna takes the case!

Below Deck Sailing Yacht,Recaps

Below Deck Sailing Yacht Recap: Whistle While You Work

5 months

It’s official – Adam Glick is a bad omen. There he was whistling, whistling, whistling…. all throughout the entire episode of Below Deck Sailing Yacht, and everywhere he blew a tune bad luck soon followed.

Georgia Grobler is secretly in love with Paget Berry, one half of an incestuous set of twins, but in order to keep the on-board harmony Georgia is forced to succumb to a date with Chris Miller, a sunny side up egg in a carton of hard boiled.

Jenna MacGillivray just wants Adam to love her, however the more she begs the more he rolls up the windows on his trusty traveling van and puts up a “No Emotional Vacancies” sign. Madison Stalker just wants to be understood, and appreciated, and loved, and accepted and all the things one will not find in the storage hull of a super yacht. Captain Glenn Shephard just wants to have the perfect sail, but in his quest for an uncomplicated voyage he finds himself throttled by the wind.

Below Deck Sailing Yacht,Recaps

Below Deck Sailing Yacht Recap: It’s Not About The Flowers!

5 months

Last night’s Below Deck Sailing Yacht was a battle for the most annoying egos. Starting with charter guest Lyndi, whose voice had a fabricated squeakiness I assume she thinks is cute and charming, but actually sounds like a five-year-old in Suzuki violin lessons. Then there was Adam Glick. Someone please just drop him in a barren wasteland, far from any females for the remainder of his days.

Lyndi is on this trip with her boyfriend Jesse, who she decidedly does not love. Maybe she did love him until she tasted Adam… Adam’s food that is. It’s probably that Lyndi mostly eschews calories, so being around the decadence of Adam’s cooking which contain *gasp* fat grams has her in a state of arousal.

After arguing with Jesse at dinner because she won’t stop openly hitting on Adam, Lyndi and her pal sneak down to the galley to harass him. Jenna MacGillivray is standing right there, watching as these OC wannabe Barbies throw themselves at him. Adam always seems like he smells like grease and fish – uck.

Below Deck Sailing Yacht,Recaps

Below Deck Sailing Yacht Recap: Out With The Old…

5 months

Last night on Below Deck Sailing Yacht we lost one crew member and gained a new one. I stand by my stance that Parker McCown is appalling. He has no respect for authority, plus his over-confidence and arrogance is so typical white male privilege. He’s like Gordon Gekko of the high seas.

In a meeting with Captain Glenn Shephard and Paget Berry about whether or not he should be fired, Parker yells at the Captain, argues that he’s being stressed out, then decides to flip this whole firing thing into him resigning because that’s how positive people handle problems. Plus he doesn’t like to be around people who don’t love him. Parker does realize he was gonna be fired anyway, right?

Parker’s real problem is that he doesn’t want to work. He wants to blow all his tip money proposing to the ex-girlfriend, Kati, who dumped him a couple months ago because she wanted to sleep with other guys, then begged him back when she saw a free trip to Greece and the opportunity to be on TV.

Below Deck Sailing Yacht,Recaps

Below Deck Sailing Yacht Recap: The Problem With Parker

6 months

Oh, the men on Below Deck strike again. This franchise is cursed by toxic, ridiculous men, isn’t it? And Below Deck Sailing Yacht proves to be no exception! Last night’s chief offenders where Adam Glick (duh) and Parker McCown who has the emotional reserves of a toddler and the coping skills of a drunk frat boy being told the keg is empty.

Well, at least the charter guests were lovely! Both to look at and interact with. Maisa, the primary, is a scout for Playboy Slovenia which sounds like the type of job one has as a glorified yacht girl turned trophy wife. Still Maisa was polite and charming. Most of the guests this season have been great – and even those who sucked as people were at least good tippers. Maybe sail boats put people in better moods than motor yachts?

Adam has his manties in a twist because it turns out that Jenna MacGillivray and Georgia Grobler have a shared ex-boyfriend named Johan. Jenna dated him for a couple months and finds this random connection hilarious. Her current boyfriend Adam — not so much. Adam literally rips Georgia a new one for making a joke about it. Georiga is visibly shaken as she tells Jenna about Adam’s reaction.

Below Deck Sailing Yacht,Recaps

Below Deck Sailing Yacht Recap: Two Can Play That Game!

6 months

Relationships went bang and fizzled on last night’s Below Deck Sailing Yacht. The good news is Jenna MacGillivray finally got her wish to f–ck Adam Glick! Cue a marching band to play in their honor. The bad news is Jenna also f–ked Georgia Grobler‘s ex-boyfriend, Johan. Yo, Johan, wherever you are we need a Below Deck cameo immediately! Identify yourself.

Also this is a cautionary tale of why you do not stalk ancient instagram photos of your ex. A) You might accidentally ‘like’ one of his 3,000 year old photos, thus outing yourself as a stalker. B) You might discover that your ex is also the ex of your current boss. Tres Awkward! Especially when current boss is now dating your other current boss, who is none too happy about the spit you swaped with previous companions.

And oh man is Georiga swapping the spit this episode!

Below Deck Sailing Yacht,Recaps

Real Housewives Of Atlanta Recap: Working Girls

6 months

On last night’s Real Housewives of Atlanta, the ladies struggled to find balance in their various friendships as they opened up about painful pasts and future realities.

Suddenly Gregg and NeNe Leakes are in love. Is it because he now has a job being part of the American Cancer Society as an ambassador? Whatever the case, NeNe is just thrilled to see Gregg. She tells him this great tale of revisionist history about what happened in Greece.

NeNe was just this poor innocent bystander, trying to be kind and compassionate when “KEN” would not stop picking at her. NeNe conveniently leaves out the part of the story where she spit on Kenya Moore. Also she threw the popcorn cause girls gotta eat. According to Gregg, NeNe has extended so many olive branches to Kenya Moore that she practically gave her a whole orchard.

Real Housewives of Atlanta,Recaps

Cynthia Bailey Says She is NeNe Leakes’ “Girl” & Marlo Hampton Is NeNe’s “Side Chick”

6 months

I’m not gonna lie, it blows my mind that Cynthia Bailey has been a Real Housewives of Atlanta cast member for this long. Minus the times when she’s beefing with NeNe Leakes, the woman usually has zero storyline. Her thirst to get engaged and her “annual” events that only happen one time have really worn thin.

Yeah, the woman has knockout confessional looks, but that’s about it. What does Cynthia really bring to this show? Other than some slight delusion, I mean. Listen, I know I’m hating right now, but I do not actually dislike Cynthia. There’s no reason to, but it just truly baffles me that Cynthia is holding a peach and Marlo Hampton never has. Marlo brings it in every single scene. She’s always turning up and turning it out. And then there’s Cynthia, quietly collecting her Bravo paycheck. Yawn.

Real Housewives of Atlanta

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