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Jack Stirrup

Below Deck Mediterranean Recap: The White Gloves Are Off

Not a day goes by on Below Deck Mediterranean without kitchen issues, bad weather and Captain Sandy Yawn throwing a “Sandtrum” – aka, a Sandy tantrum – about something, then getting over it 2 seconds later to direct her wrath at someone else.

Sandy has 2 speeds: hugs and snugs – I love you like bananas, ice cream, and motor yacht docking –  or screams and yells. After a season of flying under the radar, Joao Franco and Hannah Ferrier both finally found themselves in Sandy’s crosshairs. Meanwhile, Travis Michalzik got all the love a Sandy can offer. You know it’s the end of the season when the chief stew and the bosun are in trouble!

High winds are rocking the Mediterranean as fall approaches, which is why it’s a bad idea to book your motor yacht vacation during discount season – especially if you’re prone to seasickness as guest Deana is. She’s literally crawling on the floor, moaning like her entrails are being ripped out. Hannah escorts her upstairs and gently rubs the inside of her wrists to help regain equilibrium. It’s not quite a taint, but Hannah jokes that she assumed her hand job days are over. Are they ever? Especially if one hopes to net a 65-year-old millionaire!

.Hannah Ferrier Below Deck Mediterranean

As the charter season comes to an end on Below Deck Mediterranean tensions are high as fatigue and apathy sets in, causing Captain Sandy Yawn to yell at Hannah Ferrier for being lazy.

Hannah has spent all season bragging about her dream team of stews, whom she gets along with so well. Unfortunately, Hannah is doing too much of being a friend and not enough being a leader.

Captain Sandy has noticed the quality slipping. Especially compared to the lengths chef Ben Robinson is going to impress the guests at their White Party final supper. 

Below Deck Mediterranean Travis Michalzik

The latest group of charter guests to booze cruise through the Med shamelessly ogled the deck crew.  The sexual comments and liquor kept flowing with these ladies on Below Deck Mediterranean.  Captain Sandy Yawn even had to rescue Jack Stirrup from a herd of thirsty ladies that infiltrated the bridge.  Whether Jack wanted assistance or not is another story.

Travis Michalzik set his sights on one charter guest that he nicknamed “Blondie,” aka Natalie.  When the group departed, Travis slipped Blondie a piece of paper.  If Natalie had seen Travis after an off night, passed out and reeking of alcohol, we could guess what happened to that piece of paper.  But since Travis was his polished and charming self at the time, it does raise the question; did Natalie ever contact Travis?

Below Deck Mediterranean Travis Michalzik

In the last dregs of the summer season, the Sirocco continues to slowly circle France and Below Deck Mediterranean chugs on.

I couldn’t even be bothered to remember the names of the charter guests. I’ll just call them “Alcohol Now,” which is the t-shirt the primary was wearing when he boarded the boat. The primaries own some sort of luxury puppy palace. So, explain to me, again, how that makes you rich? Even if your only clients are Lisa Vanderpump and Kameron Westcott things aren’t adding up. But here they are and here we are, watching it all unfold; boringly. I assume the one woman who is allergic to everything under the sun (except alcohol and silicone – clearly) is going to have some sort of attack after accidentally consuming something Ben Robinson accidentally served her.

Either because the specialty plate went to the wrong person when one of the stews (you know it will be Anastasia Surmava) was distracted, or because Ben was so anxious about the burners and the size of the galley that he misread the preference sheet again and prepared something she cannot eat. Anyway the episode ends with this woman literally crawling out of her cabin and collapsing on the floor. Exciting to say the least (to be fair they were sailing through a squall).

Below Deck Mediterranean Captain Sandy Yawn

As the countdown to the conclusion of this charter season approaches things are becoming more stressful and dramatic by the day on Below Deck Mediterranean. All this chaos also coincides with the end of the summer summer, meaning increasingly volatile weather in the Mediterranean.

Tonight Ben Robinson struggles to regain his yachtie skills while battling a too small galley and dysfunctional components which is impacting his ability to get the food out in a timely manner. Meanwhile, Hannah Ferrier is struggling to connect with Ben and deal with his temperamental moods that demand too much of Anastasia Surmava‘s time. 

There Will NOT Be A Below Deck Mediterranean Season 4 Reunion

Season 4 of Below Deck Mediterranean has come through week after week. Mila Kolomeitseva was ousted as chef after some sad tacos and a some baking soda-flavored cake. And let’s not forget those homophobic comments that she hasn’t publicly addressed.

Anastasia Surmava filled in as chef, but it didn’t work out. Captain Sandy Yawn gave Anastasia her third stew spot back and unfairly fired June Foster. This prompted Colin Macy-O’Toole to put his own job on the line for June. And, we were all saved when Chef Ben Robinson returned to the Below Deck franchise. This isn’t even half of the drama that went down during Season 4. The reunion episode needs to be three parts. At least.

Below Deck Mediterranean Colin Macy-O'Toole Captain Sandy Yawn

Last night’s Below Deck Mediterranean was a mess! Messier than Travis Michalzik after making out with his girlfriend, vodka!

First, there are the guests who are so distracted by bragging about who has the biggest menopausal sex drive they forget to eat their dinner until it gets cold, then the primary tattles to Captain Sandy Yawn. Instead of assessing the situation (‘ass’ being the operative prefix!) Captain Sandy hightails it down to the galley to complain to Ben Robinson, who promptly shoves his finger into the pan of risotto and proclaims it hot. PIPING. As hot as Ben’s rage and regret that he once again sold his soul to Bravo: the pirates of dignity.

Below Deck Mediterranean Colin Macy-O'Toole

I hope everyone is enjoying a fantastic and relaxing Labor Day and what better way to end a holiday than with a brand new episode of Below Deck Mediterranean!

The Med is heating waaaay up with a boat full of very fresh and flirtatious (re: sexually harassing) guests who cannot keep their hands off the male members of the Sirocco crew. In fact a few of the ladies get a bit too close to Jack Stirrup for their own good!