Will lying to a charter guest come back to haunt you? That’s the question on Ashling Lorger‘s mind as we set sail on another week of Below Deck. At the end of last week’s episode, the stew cut off the alcohol for the primary’s two sons. And now she’s worried she’s going to pay for it. In the form of putting the entire crew’s tip in jeopardy. One one hand, they tried to jump into the tender and almost went for a swim. On the other, one of the boys threw an alcohol-fueled tantrum at two in the morning. But what are the chances he’ll even remember the night before after half a bottle of Hennessy?
Turns out, chances are high. The next morning, the first thing he does is complain to anyone who will listen about the mean stew who lied about the hot tub and sent him to bed. Including Francesca Rubi, who’s baffled that Ashling would do anything to anger a rich, spoiled charter guest. However, when she hears Ashling’s side of the story, she naturally sides with her bestie. The teenager conveniently failed to mention trying to drunkenly board the tender. Or going out on the swim platform. Over breakfast, his parents also laugh off his complaining, and the issue is essentially dead in the water. Phew. Tip crisis averted.
Never sleep in a guest cabin. That was the takeaway from last week’s episode of Below Deck. Though if you think Francesca Rubi is done berating Elizabeth Frankini over it, you thought wrong. In fact, this week’s Below Deck picks up smack dab in the middle of their cliffhanger argument. In the crew mess. In front of all their other co-workers. Now, call me crazy, but that’s not the most professional way of handling workplace conflict. Right?
Yes, Elizabeth was wrong. But she’s also the one who has to extract herself from the situation and go cry in her room. She also finds a solution by calling her energy healer Godfrey for support. And a major cleansing. Which apparently involves virtually lifting away her “first, second, third and fourth dimensional gray, black, dark matter.” This is the perfect time for Captain Lee Rosbach to walk in on the conversation. He has no idea what’s going on, but shrugs it off with a “different strokes for different folks” mentality. C’est la vie, energy healing!
Something fishy is going on with Below Deck Mediterranean and with each episode we see the further unraveling of Anastasia Surmava and Travis Michalzik. Anastasia is reminding me of one of those Tudor princesses forced upon a throne she is woefully unprepared to reign; the pawn of warring factions seeking the easiest and most disposable means of domination. Anastasia is a sitting duck … and if she doesn’t watch out she might find herself served (undercooked) for dinner!
I do not understand where these sudden temperature issues have arrived from? Anastasia was doing OK the first couple charters. She assumed the mantle of chef, but now the girl needs to acquaint herself with Mila’s microwave! Or possibly have Captain Sandy Yawn invest in plate domes? Anastasia believes the problem is not with her cooking (No! Never her fault!), but in the 130 feet it takes to migrate food from the sweatshop galley – a literal hovel of doom where chefs go in like lions and out like sobbing mental patients – to the table. Um, how does 130 feet freeze rice?
Oh Below Deck Mediterranean – sailing through some of the most beautiful scenery in the world with some of the most hideous people! Johnny Damon‘s wife needs to literally take several seats. Preferably on a yacht she actually owns.
I don’t know what is going on with this boat, but the constantly twisted up anchor seems to be a metaphor for the crew as well. Anastasia Surmava is now officially WAAAAY too big for her britches, but her britches are probably a thong bikini bottoms, so… Last week Anastasia was panicking over a unicorn cake. Now, she’s marching into the Michelin Star Service Station – without her chef’s coat! – to announce that she’s here to pick up her stars. Everything Anastasia served last night was a disappointment and the guests – bless their grimy, probably sexually unsatisfied hearts – were right to complain to Captain Sandy Yawn.
Chefs of the Below Deck: If we can make it at home using a Pinterest recipe we do not want to eat it on a yacht!!
On last night’s Below Deck Mediterranean the cracks started to show with an overworked crew and an under qualified chef!
The episode opened with June Foster literally fleeing the dinner table to puke in a trashcan. I thought Bravo was setting us up for some enormous reveal. June is pregnant! Hannah Ferrier fed her a bad oyster! Jackie Seigel‘s ring had poison in it (and who tried to poison Jackie!?)! June had an allergic reaction to spray tan! The thought of dating Colin Macy-O’Toole made June gag.
But re: June and Colin getting together. Have you ever seen two such American smiles? They both have a full set of gator chompers. Teeth so white and straight and perfectly stylized by precision American orthodonistry that a full set of false teeth would just pop out of June’s uterus.
I can’t figure out who is crazier on Below Deck Mediterranean: new third stew June Foster or billionaire charter guest Jackie Siegel. These two are two urchins in a reef who live in their own worlds – it’s probably better that they stay there instead of permeating ours.
The trek to picnic at Eze continues. Up a mountain, down a mountain, up a mountain, down a mountain, up an inflatable slide, down an inflatable… Oh wait, haha! That’s only for half the crew! The rest of the crew is on a particularly odious Amazing Race challenge featuring deck chairs and how many can be carried at once without a leg being broken (the chair’s or the human’s – doesn’t matter!).
Joao Franco and the rest of the team at Eze finally get everything to the top (with Jackie is whining for food like a petulant child) that there’s no cutlery and no one is answering the radio because Captain Sandy Yawn has them all frolicking in the water under the auspice of crew training. Or producers just wanted another opportunity to showcase Anastasia Surmava in a thong bikini.
Last night’s Below Deck Mediterranean was a delight, let me tell you! When the Queen of Versailles comes on board everything must be top notch. Let the commoners eat leftover cake. Literally.
Sirocco is a ship of change and fools. The number one fool being Joao Franco who could only keep his dark side hidden for so long. All those tears he cried to Captain Sandy Yawn about being a changed man were swiftly undone by a few errant shots of vodka. Jezabob returns and comes out swinging! YUCK.
First Joao starts with Anastasia Surmava. In Joao’s esteemed opinion beacuse Anastasia is not a 7-star chef she had no business accepting the promotion. OK, exactly what is a 7-star chef and what type of professional of this caliber would be working on a reality TV charter yacht for people like Jackie Siegel? [Crickets]
Lots of exciting happenings tonight on Below Deck Mediterranean – from the infamous charter guests to a new stewardess joining the crew of the Sirocco!
With Anastasia Surmava promoted to chef Captain Sandy Yawn has scoured the world (or Monster.com) for a new third stew who’s available to start mid-season. Sandy hires June Foster sight unseen – and lets hope the globe-trotter originally from Arizona doesn’t make too many waves because Hannah Ferrier is not happy to have changes to her interior crew!