How many terrible groups of charter guests does it take to make not one, but two crew members cry? This week on Below Deck, the answer is just one. You guys! I cannot reiterate enough what monsters these guests are. And it’s only the first charter of the season! We’ve barely left the dock and chaos has completely taken over My Seanna. And I blame it almost entirely on Charley Walters and his band of vile friends. Well, if you can even call them “friends.” But let’s not ahead of ourselves.
Need I remind you, this is also the third time Bravo has let Charley onto this show. Two seasons ago, he and his gaggle of mean girl gays were the ones who forced Josiah Carter into a gold speedo. And reminded him of the gay bullies who terrorized him after he came out. Which, let me tell you, is sadly all too real in the hateful world of gay-on-gay social circles. (They also got chewed out by Captain Lee Rosbach that season for dangerously operating the jet skis without a kill switch, and putting their lives in danger.)
Ahoy, yachties! Welcome to Season 8 of Below Deck, where the Stud of the Sea himself — Captain Lee Rosbach — is ready to take back the Caribbean. Wait. Captain? Captain Lee, are you there? Cap? The captain is not on the boat, people. I repeat: the captain is not on the boat.
This is what returning bosun Eddie Lucas discovers thirty seconds into the premiere when he boards My Seanna with his well-worn Cotopaxi backpack and is greeted by….no one. The gorgeous motor yacht we first met back in Season 6 is empty. And after making a quick call, Eddie discovers why: Captain Lee is in the hospital. But it’s not for a broken heart over Kate Chastain‘s exit from the series like you probably thought. No, turns out the invincible old sea dog slipped in the shower and smashed several ribs. We’re talking badly enough to be admitted to Mount St. John’s Medical Centre in Antigua.
Ah yes, the Stud of the Sea is once again floating on the waters of the Caribbean. Below Deck is back and Captain Lee Rosbach is bringing an old friend with him. I can’t be the only one happy to see Captain Lee at the helm of My Seanna. Especially after the messy and mildly traumatic season Captain Sandy Yawn brought us on Below Deck Mediterranean. Thank goodness the two captains lead with very different methods and we aren’t likely to see Lee saying someone is secretly gay on a Cameo.
There’s a new cast, but you might recognize one or two faces. Season 8 promises to bring crew dissention, wasted guests, and Captain Lee’s expertise as a wordsmith. How can you not reflect on some of his wiser quotes like, “We’ve gone through more deckhands than a condom salesman in a whorehouse.” Certainly didn’t get inspo like that from Sandy… Grab your life vests, the new Season 8 trailer has officially dropped.