It’s only Episode 3 of Below Deck and everyone’s ready for it to be over. The first charter, of course, not the entire season! We’ve suffered through two weeks with these horrendously high-maintenance guests and it’s time to get them off the boat. So thankfully, although this week picks up right at the end of the fight over James Hough, it all fizzles quicker than Francesca Rubi letting the air out of a balloon. In fact, the only thing not deflating looks to be James’ chances with Francesca? Because surprisingly, the chief stew doesn’t entirely turn down the junior deckhand’s flirtatious banter. But maybe that’s just a sign that this first, terrible charter has made everyone on board crazy.
The next morning, the charter draws to a blessedly quick close. One that’s made even quicker by the fact that Captain Lee Rosbach opts to pull anchor and head for the dock early on account of the rain. So after a streamlined breakfast of French toast by Rachel Hargrove and a particularly tight docking, it’s time for guest departure. Oh, but one more thing! Because of course there’s one more thing. Primary guest (from hell) Charley can’t help but be a bit condescending in his goodbye, but follows it up with a giant tip — $25,000 to be exact. Which is huge, especially considering the crew was literally expecting no tip at all. But does giving a giant tip truly make up for being a terrible scourge on charter crews everywhere? I guess that’s just the world of yachting…
How many terrible groups of charter guests does it take to make not one, but two crew members cry? This week on Below Deck, the answer is just one. You guys! I cannot reiterate enough what monsters these guests are. And it’s only the first charter of the season! We’ve barely left the dock and chaos has completely taken over My Seanna. And I blame it almost entirely on Charley Walters and his band of vile friends. Well, if you can even call them “friends.” But let’s not ahead of ourselves.
Need I remind you, this is also the third time Bravo has let Charley onto this show. Two seasons ago, he and his gaggle of mean girl gays were the ones who forced Josiah Carter into a gold speedo. And reminded him of the gay bullies who terrorized him after he came out. Which, let me tell you, is sadly all too real in the hateful world of gay-on-gay social circles. (They also got chewed out by Captain Lee Rosbach that season for dangerously operating the jet skis without a kill switch, and putting their lives in danger.)
Ahoy, yachties! Welcome to Season 8 of Below Deck, where the Stud of the Sea himself — Captain Lee Rosbach — is ready to take back the Caribbean. Wait. Captain? Captain Lee, are you there? Cap? The captain is not on the boat, people. I repeat: the captain is not on the boat.
This is what returning bosun Eddie Lucas discovers thirty seconds into the premiere when he boards My Seanna with his well-worn Cotopaxi backpack and is greeted by….no one. The gorgeous motor yacht we first met back in Season 6 is empty. And after making a quick call, Eddie discovers why: Captain Lee is in the hospital. But it’s not for a broken heart over Kate Chastain‘s exit from the series like you probably thought. No, turns out the invincible old sea dog slipped in the shower and smashed several ribs. We’re talking badly enough to be admitted to Mount St. John’s Medical Centre in Antigua.
Ah yes, the Stud of the Sea is once again floating on the waters of the Caribbean. Below Deck is back and Captain Lee Rosbach is bringing an old friend with him. I can’t be the only one happy to see Captain Lee at the helm of My Seanna. Especially after the messy and mildly traumatic season Captain Sandy Yawn brought us on Below Deck Mediterranean. Thank goodness the two captains lead with very different methods and we aren’t likely to see Lee saying someone is secretly gay on a Cameo.
There’s a new cast, but you might recognize one or two faces. Season 8 promises to bring crew dissention, wasted guests, and Captain Lee’s expertise as a wordsmith. How can you not reflect on some of his wiser quotes like, “We’ve gone through more deckhands than a condom salesman in a whorehouse.” Certainly didn’t get inspo like that from Sandy… Grab your life vests, the new Season 8 trailer has officially dropped.