Jasmine Arteaga Sorge

It’s time for Little Women: LA to take their giant barrel of issues up north – to Alaska! But when the trip Terra Jole arranged suddenly includes her nemesis, Christy McGinity Gibel – per Tonya Banks’ invitation – Terra decides to make everyone’s life miserable. So, business as usual!

But first we begin at Briana Renee and Matt Ericson [Grundhoffer’s] house, where they’re fretting over baby Maverick’s sleep issues. He doesn’t have sleep apnea, but he does need extra oxygen at night – which is tough to do with a clunky mask. Luckily, Briana’s anxiety has lessened. But now she feels bullied by the girls, who almost all piled on her about her – um – funky smell. (Gah! Again, are we really witnessing this nightmare on TV?!?!) Briana says that Terra is the main bully, but the others aren’t far behind. Only Jasmine Sorge has her back. Matt flexes his douchiness muscles, begging Briana to let him “unleash” on them. “Take the handcuffs off me and let me tell them how it is!” he demands. Briana dumbly shrugs, secretly loving the idea of a Big Matt Attack.

On this week’s Little Women: LA it’s time for the ladies to attack each other in a mud pit. Which seems a fitting metaphor for their storylines friendships, no? While Terra Jole continues to wave her book releases in everyone’s faces, Briana Renee finds herself pretty much forced to challenge Terra on the name of her book, thanks to Jasmine Sorge’s oddly incessant instigation. She also finds herself accused of poor hygiene again, which I still cannot believe is being put on BLAST on national TV (!!!). But guess who gives absolutely zero f–ks about Terra and her precious book releases? Christy McGinity Gibel, that’s who. She’s had enough of Terra’s messy meddling, so she refuses flat out to sign a release – now or ever. Boom.

Back at the nail salon, Elena Gant and Jasmine are still bickering about why Jasmine is trying to fight Briana’s battles. Yeah, Jasmine, why are you suddenly Briana’s dragon? The irony of Briana wanting to claim the “fierce” title, but relying on others to do the claiming for her is not lost on us. Also not lost on us is the fact that Elena and Jasmine can barely get through this totally manufactured fight without giggling and smirking the entire time. They make up in the end, agreeing to disagree. Because the network requires it Jasmine is the children’s godmother, after all.

Guess who now owns the word “fierce?” (Well, besides the year 2005.) Terra Jole owns it, dammit! And she makes Briana Renee’s head spin when she reveals on this week’s Little Women: LA that she’s using it in her upcoming book title. That’s right, ladies and gentlemen. We are now witness to an argument about who is and is not fierce. Wait – can we abstain from the vote? Or redefine “fierce” as: Without boundaries, self awareness, or the maturity of a fifth grader? Because then, I will gladly get on board.

But last week’s mess still looms large over the group, as Christy McGinity Gibel gets wind of Terra showing her video all around town. As a result, Christy firmly draws a line in the sand, stating that she will not now, nor EVER, sign that book release Terra was waving in front of her face. So Terra will just have to rely on everyone else’s dirt to fill the pages of her “tell-all.” Hmm. It would seem Briana and Matt Ericson [Grundhoffer] could provide sufficient content for a trilogy, so my guess is that she’ll be all set, right?

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Remember a certain video Kim Kardashian leaked back in the day to launch her dubious career? Well apparently, Christy McGinity Gibel made one of those videos too! Except with way less skin, no sex, and a decidedly lower market value. So when Terra Jole decides to bizarrely out this old footage of Christy on this week’s Little Women: LA, Christy is offended – and rightly so, especially when Terra vaguely presents it as some sort of threat if Christy doesn’t sign her book release. Meanwhile, Tonya Banks is not having the best luck, as her dog is stolen, which, on top of the massive meltdown Jasmine Sorge recently had on her, does not make for a great week in Little Boss’s world.

With Penny turning two, Terra and Joe Gnoffo are planning a big party. At home, they prep decorations as Tonya pops in to tell them her dog, Angel, is gone. She cries foul! Someone’s stolen her, says Tonya. But enough on that, as there’s party drama to discuss – drama between Tonya and Jasmine, that is. Tonya still doesn’t know what to do to make things right after Jasmine screamed in her face at her post-launch party. She apologized, so shouldn’t that be enough? As for Briana Renee’s beef with Tonya not including her in the fashion show, nobody cares.

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