It’s hard to believe that Jax Taylor is settling down. His bachelor antics powered the first six seasons of Vanderpump Rules. During the Season 7 premiere episode, Jax proposed to Brittany Cartwright. And, for the most part, he’s been well-behaved this season.
Will that continue when he has his bachelor party? Or will the old Jax return for one last wild time? He will if Lala Kent’s fiance Randall Emmett has a vote. Apparently, he is in charge of the festivities. What about Jax’s best man Tom Sandoval?
Are you guys ready to saddle up and take a ride on the hot mess express? Good because that is what you can expect from the Vanderpump Rules Season 7 reunion. The cast of your guiltiest pleasure had major ups and downs during the season. The ups consisted of Jax Taylor and Brittany Cartwright getting engaged. The downs were watching Lala Kent suffering over the loss of her father and
anything to do with Katie Maloney the constant ganging up on James Kennedy.
We saw Scheana Marie “single” for the first time ever, but somehow she managed to obsess over someone anyway. James’ girlfriend Raquel Leviss was an unnecessary target of the Witches of WeHo, mainly because she is pretty and thin… The poor thing didn’t really do anything to anyone. Kristen Doute was, god I don’t even know. Kristen, what in the fresh hell do you do every single day? Anystupidtshirtline, the reunion is going to treat us with three separate shows to wrap up Season 7.
Homeownership is in the air! The first Vanderpump Rules couple to enter the fray was Tom Sandoval and Ariana Madix. While the rest of the cast upgraded to expensive apartments, Tom and Ariana stayed put in order to save money for a home.
They must have saved a pretty penny too because Ariana and Tom ended up buying a $2 million dollar home. That’s a big step up from a place where you couldn’t run the A/C and microwave at the same time. So who is up next in the crew to buy a home? Surprisingly, it’s half the cast.
Love him or hate him, James Kennedy gave Vanderpump Rules a much needed boost of drama this season. He came in strong when he rapped in front of Brittany Cartwright about Jax Taylor hooking up with Faith Stowers. Then he went one step too far when he fat shamed Katie Maloney. Lisa Vanderpump wanted none of it and fired James from SUR.
Because Lisa has rehired him before, James spent the rest of the season trying to get his job back. He even apologized to Brittany, Jax and Tom Schwartz regarding his behavior. But it wasn’t good enough. Most of the cast turned on him, and he didn’t get his job back. If Lisa gave James so many chances before, why isn’t she giving him one now?
Once upon a time, in a land far, far away a foolish princess sat in her WeHo walkup, and pledged her love to Jax Taylor, a pile of mashed potatoes that sometimes took on human-esque features and pretended to have a heart, but mostly just oozed brown puss. This princess of purgatory is Brittany Cartwright and on last night’s Vanderpump Rules she had an engagement party
This party seemed like it was supposed to be a wedding, until producers decided to drag out the drama by turning it into an engagement party last minute. Like they expected a huge blowout where Brittany’s dad confronted her about what an insipid ass Jax is. Or Jax and the Toms got in a fight with Brittany’s brothers. Instead, the biggest drama was Scheana Marie crying in a corner because Adam Spott rejected her adopt-a-penguin apology gift.
Also Ariana Madix nervously confronted Lisa Vanderpump‘s about treating the Toms like grownups because then, like, maybe they might, like, act, like, one. Or Tom 1 will at least.
Tonight should come as a great relief because… this is THE SEASON FINALE of Vanderpump Rules. And this was a long season where literally nothing exciting happened! Sure we got Jax Taylor and Brittany Cartwright‘s engaaaaaaaaygement and the opening of Tom Tom, but it was mostly tales of almost middle-aged people being in denial about how embarrassingly in denial they are while trying to ostracize James Kennedy for fear he’d usurp their jobs.
Anyway, tonight we finally celebrate Jax and Brittany’s decision to yoke, which means that next comes a spinoff wedding special, or the wedding which won’t happen until NEXT SEASON so we’ll be forced to endure to more of this nonsense next year. Please no!
Season 7 of Vanderpump Rules has been all about the (supposedly) improved Jax Taylor. For the most part, he’s been pretty well-behaved. In related news, this is the least interesting season in the show’s history. As much as people love to hate on Jax, he did always bring some premium entertainment.
It seemed like Jax was back in his old form during the last episode of Vanderpump Rules. He had a conversation with Brittany Cartwright’s dad and her other male family members about how he’s his own “number one.” Of course, he got majorly slammed by the viewers, and seemingly Brittany’s family during that scene. But wait, did it really go down like that? Or was there some tricky editing at hand? Jax blames the editing. Of course.
My guess is when you guys think about “true love”, no one from Vanderpump Rules comes to mind. Perhaps visions of Mike and Carol Brady fill your head or Princess Leia and Han Solo… But I’m definitely not picturing Tom Schwartz getting the verbal beat down from
owner wife, Katie Maloney. Visions of Tom Sandoval and glorified roommate Ariana Madix certainly don’t fit. Shall we talk about marriage-bound Jax Taylor and Brittany Cartwright? No, we better skip them too. Oh, hang on a second, we cannot forget Lala Kent and Randall Emmett. Those two are the epitome of what a REAL relationship looks like. I think we can all agree that Lala would 1,000% be with Rand if he weren’t rich and a Hollywood producer. Because Lala typically goes for men with 19 chins and children from previous relationships. #sorrynotsorry
So who will be next to put a ring on it and start heading down the aisle of permanent togetherness? Even though, Tom 1 and Tom 2 are historically the happiest couple on the show… The Toms do have an idea, but if you ask me it’s more the result of what cast members are left over. Ain’t nobody thinking someone will marry Kristen Doute, like ever. So Stassi, you’re up girlfriend.