Last night’s Vanderpump Rules was the prequel to the season finale, which means the bulk of the episode was spent finally FINALLY giving Scheana Marie some attention and something to do besides machine gun laughing at her own jokes. Of course Scheana wasted all this prime real estate on
Marina del Rey whining about Adam Spott and going on a fake date to make him jealous which obviously backfired like a rusty pickup in a PCH traffic jam!
The other half of the episode was dedicated to Brittany Cartwright‘s family visiting from Kentucky for wedding dress shopping and giving Jax Taylor the third degree. If Jax gets out of this marriage alive he’s leaving with a rat tail, less than half of his savings, and a ripped plaid shirt wrapped around a cold beer can that he’s holding to his temple. Don’t fuck with no redneck daddies! (I’m from West Virginia so I know full well how this goes!)
Tonight Vanderpump Rules inches ever farther away from the ridiculous show about drunken bartenders that we fell in love with as we celebrate Jax Taylor and Brittany Cartwright‘s engagement.
Luckily Jax is still just as big of an a-hole as ever! With Brittany’s enormous Kentucky family in town to celebrate
mashed potatoes their engagement party, Jax constantly feels on the defense and accidentally insults Brittany’s father and brothers. Even though Jax is convinced he’s changed, he’s still deep in the throes of Number One Guy Complex and his delusions all come crashing through the surface when he’s confronted by Brittany’s father and brothers, who still don’t trust him after he cheated last year.
I think we all know the ladies of Vanderpump Rules don’t always take kindly to the introduction of new “friends”. With the exception of Brittany Cartwright. But I think that’s because the ladies feel dating Jax Taylor is punishment enough.
One of the latest newcomers, Billie Lee, has fallen into the crosshairs of former queen bee Stassi Schroeder. (I say former because I feel the ladies have outgrown the hierarchy of their threesome) And in true Stassi fashion, she is not mincing words.
Remember when Vanderpump Rules kind of revolved around the crazy antics of Kristen Doute being obsessed with her ex? No, I’m not talking about her current obsession with James Kennedy. I am referring to her former (?) obsession with Tom Sandoval. She made the life of Ariana Madix, Tom, and even her friends a living hell. I fondly recall her uttering borderline insane things like, wishing Ariana would get hit by a Mack truck (but not die, just become horribly maimed). After
Jax Taylor word on the street told her Tom had been unfaithful to Ariana on a boys’ trip to Miami, she stalked located a random female with some unfortunate facial fillers and brought her to SUR to have a face to face showdown with Tom. At one point she even cornered a grieving Ariana at SUR and called her the c-word, and those are the things on the low end of Kristen’s psychosis.
But time heals all wounds, I guess. Though in proper society, you don’t come back from some of those things. Fortunately for most of the cast, Kristen has gone on to terrorize other people in her life. Tom and Ariana seem to have forgiven Kristen for her personal attacks, insane displays of emotion, and drunken hysterics. Now we are witnessing the birth of a brand new relationship, Kristen and Ariana’s friendship. Without context, it seems rather…odd. And that’s putting it nicely. But how did any of this go down? Was it all a dream? Did we just imagine Krazy Kritter’s 19 personalities wreaking havoc on society? Ariana shared the scoop on how such an unlikely duo joined forces and became “friends”.
Last night’s Vanderpump Rules was all about redemption. In a Hollywood kinda way.
Stassi Schroeder is in peril. After years of having bad boyfriends and being able to blame, project and justify her own bad behavior as their fault for having worse behavior, she is now dating the man of her dreams and needs a bad girlfriend detox. Enter Beau Clark: someone who does everything Stassi demands of him, entertains her endlessly, cedes to her tantrums, and accepts that even when Stassi is wearing a mini skirt, she wears the pants. Basically she’s a queen dating the court jester.
But winter is coming and that winter is Stassi’s demand for unwavering sycophancy and the lashing of her evil tongue when Beau doesn’t capitulate. Last time it ended in eczema and tears, but what if someday Beau decides he can no longer take being a battered boyfriend, aka the future subject of a Lifetime Movie?
They could very easily change the name of Vanderpump Rules to Everybody Hates James. Oh, just kidding, the cast doesn’t want him to get any more attention than he already does. Ironically, the constant James Kennedy bashing just gets him more attention.
After getting disinvited from the cast trip to Mexico, James and his girlfriend Raquel Leviss invited cast members to a puppy pawty. Yes, that’s actually how they spelled it. It was actually a puppy shower, for a dog that’s already been born. Jax Taylor and Brittany Cartwright rejected Raquel’s invite to her face. And it was so awkward. Poor Raquel. No one wants to
film with her go to her party.
Tonight Vanderpump Rules returns and even though
winter no one is coming, Raquel Leviss goes ahead with hosting a puppy shower for James Kennedy‘s sad puppy dog eyes. Just kidding – it’s actually for their dog, Graham.
God this show is getting so asinine. I mean… the plotline for tonight includes a puppy shower for the C-Team, then Stassi Schroeder getting a bad girlfriend exorcism from a witch who’s less WeHo and more Wiccan. Katie Maloney joins Stassi in this and since Katie doesn’t believe she needs any self-improvement in any way, you know this is some BS nonsense!
It’s very clear that (most of) the Vanderpump Rules cast members don’t want James Kennedy on the show. However, it just doesn’t make much sense when you think about the bigger picture. The other cast members are settling down. They’re in long term relationships, opening up bars, and actually behaving themselves. Well, they’re not behaving all of the time, but it’s fair to say that they’ve all matured. Normally, that would be a great thing, but for a reality TV show? Not so much. The show just isn’t as good as it used to be.
They need James and the controversy that he brings merely for existing. Most of it was the Everybody Hates James Kennedy Show, with a majority of the cast members refusing to hang out with James or invite him to events. This has to suck for Raquel Leviss. She acquired the chance to laxative tea and subscription boxes on Instagram, but she’s barely a part of the show. She’s not a full-time cast member and they’re trying to phase her man out of the show. Her aspiring career as a social media influencer is slipping away before her eyes.