Comscore

John Blizzard

Kyle Richards

Lord this season of Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills is making me reach for the CBD oil faster than Teddi Mellencamp Arroyave can turn on a friend and spin on a bike!

It all ends badly, but we start out lovely by watching Denise Richards and Aaron Phypers open their wedding presents. I wished we could’ve seen them unwrap the tequila from Dorit Kemsleybut alas Dorit  probably ‘conveniently forgot’ the wedding gift, just like she conveniently forgets to tell her so-called close friend that she gave her dog away to a woman she kinda knows, or doesn’t know, or is an associate of PK’s or is you know, a shelter named A Very Lovely Random Woman.

Denise Richards & Aaron Phypers

On last night’s Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills episode Denise Richards got married under the paparazzi while Lisa Vanderpump got divorced from the rest of the cast over the paparazzi. You know, just another day in LA!

Of course, this season of Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills is about a dog while having nothing to do with a dog. It’s about so much more than that, obviously, but the prevailing thing is that I can’t rally behind the unraveling of something which attempts to paint Dorit Kemsley (who’s one step away from taking her phony accent and tacky clothes to debtors prison) as the victim. She’s not, no matter how many times Dorit asks, “Mirror, Mirror on the wall: whose the most victimized of them all?” Obviously, the mirror always answers Lucy, but Dorit routinely pretends not to hear things she doesn’t understand or like.

Denise Richards

Tonight Denise Richards marries Aaron Phypers on Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills, and since they planned the wedding in like 10 days (or more specifically 48 hours) there’s obviously some drama!

The biggest drama being whether or not this wedding will actually ever happen. Denise is so late half the women leave — which was probably not what the producers wanted. They probably hopped all the downtown by the open bar would lead to plenty of hysterics and a revival of Teddi Mellencamp Arroyave whipping out text messages from a toddler to accuse Lisa Vanderpump of manipulation. Yes – still talking about Lucy In The Shelter With Microchips! (#BeatlesReference) 

Dorit Kemsley

Season 9 of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills has really gone to the dogs, or one dog in particular — Lucy Lucy Apple Juice! If only Lucy could talk —  oh the tales she could tell. Dorit Kemsley and her husband, PK Kemsley, adopted Lucy from Vanderpump Dogs. Animal lover, and swan enthusiast, Lisa Vanderpump started this center, and she doesn’t take kindly to anyone mistreating animals.

After claiming that Lucy bit her children and her husband PK, Dorit dropped Lucy at a shelter rehomed Lucy. But in the contract from Vanderpump Dogs, the adopter is supposed to return the dog to the organization, or else pay a fee. Guess what? Dorit and PK didn’t pay the $5,000 fee. That isn’t surprising due to the financial hot water that the couple is in. Lucy ended up in a shelter. Thankfully she was traced back to LVP’s organization because of her microchip. And Dorit had previously returned another dog to Vanderpump Dogs. She should have known the terms of the adoption contract. You should read things before you sign them, Dorit. So, “puppy gate” has been the main story on RHOBH so far.

Teddi Mellencamp Arroyave

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star Teddi Mellencamp Arroyave is down right vicious this season. Last year she was all “aw shucks.” In her second season, she has turned into a petty mean girl. Don’t let us down next year, Denise Richards!

At Camille Grammer’s birthday party, Teddi cornered anyone who would listen to her version of puppygate. When Lisa Vanderpump approached her, Teddi’s claws came out. She snidely apologized to Lisa for not carrying out her plan. She also ranted that she owned up to her part and Lisa will continue not owning up because that’s her M.O. And Teddi still has more to say about Lisa.

Teddi Mellencamp Arroyave Says Lisa Vanderpump & Dorit Kemsley Drama Is “About Making Your Friends Look Bad” NOT About The Failed Dog Adoption

Last season, Lisa Vanderpump referred to Teddi Mellencamp Arroyave as her “little Teddi bear.” After this Real Housewives of Beverly Hills season, LVP will never say that again. Teddi (and allegedly Lisa) was in on a scheme to expose Dorit Kemsley for a failed dog adoption.

Now, Teddi is coming out guns blazing against the RHOBH OG. Is Teddi going to make it out alive? LVP is playing chess while these other Housewives play checkers. Plus, she has a very avid fanbase. This is going to be a major uphill battle.

Kyle Richards

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star Kyle Richards keeps insisting that she doesn’t want to take sides between Lisa Vanderpump and Teddi Mellencamp Arroyave. She must have forgotten that actions speak louder than words. 

Kyle repeatedly tried to get Lisa to talk about puppygate even when she didn’t want to. She also manipulated advised Teddi to think of what Lisa’s next move would be. It’s pretty clear that Kyle has picked a side and it’s not her best friend Lisa’s. And if Lisa won’t talk about puppygate, Kyle will.

Teddi Mellencamp Arroyave - Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills

Teddi Mellencamp Arroyave may be on her second season as a Housewife, but she’s making some rookie mistakes. Going up against Lisa Vanderpump is a daunting task. No matter how manipulative LVP may be, that’s not enough to turn the majority against her. No one can take down Lisa. No matter how many people have tried. Have any of them actually succeeded? Nope.

She arguably has the most loyal fans out of all the Real Housewives. She also has some very loyal employees. Between the LVP loyalists and John Blizzard, Teddi is up against a lot. Or at least that’s the case on social media. Get ready for more “textesses,” as so many Bravolebrities like to say. Why can’t anyone on this network correctly pronounce the word “texts”? Anyway, I’ve digressed. Let’s get to the latest piece of evidence in the never-ending dog drama.