Finally! I’ve been waiting all season for something to finally happen on Below Deck. And we finally got an episode filled with drama, nearly from start to finish. We had upheaval in the crew. The coronavirus pandemic started creeping its way into the Caribbean. World War II-era warfare erupted thanks to toxic fumes! And a rogue preference sheet sent one crew member over the edge. Needless to say, it was a lot. And most of all it was great.
Last week’s Below Deck ended on a cliffhanger with Shane Coopersmith getting called into a meeting with Captain Lee Rosbach and Eddie Lucas. And this week, the hapless deckhand lasts about five seconds into the episode. That’s right; the sun has gone down on Sunshine. And strangely, Shane seems utterly blindsided by being fired. Like, he didn’t see this coming at all, you guys. Which is bizarre, considering all the napping. And waking up late. And leaving the laz door open all night. And…et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. Shall I go on?
How do you solve a problem like Shane Coopersmith? Unfortunately for Eddie Lucas, Below Deck is not The Sound of Music. A super yacht is not an Austrian nunnery. And you can’t just ship off the crew’s problem child to nanny for some Caribbean version of the Von Trapp family whose seven children are desperately in need of a new governess. (Though in this analogy, Captain Lee Rosbach would be the crew’s indomitable Mother Abbess. And what any Bravoholic wouldn’t give to hear the Stud of the Sea belt out “Climb Ev’ry Mountain” from aboard the bridge. To push the limits of the analogy even further, what song would our sweet, bright-eyed Sunshine sing as he leaves My Seanna? Why, “I Have Confidence,” of course.)
But like I said, this isn’t The Sound of Music, no matter how many striking similarities in disposition Shane may have to Maria Von Trapp. Which, now that I’m thinking of it, are many. But while Maria eventually grew to inspire countless generations of regional theaters across the world, I don’t think anyone will be writing a Below Deck musical anytime soon. At least not one with the flailing junior deckhand as the hero. Week after week, Shane’s mistakes have been piling up. And it looks like his time aboard My Seanna may finally be coming to a close.
Is anyone out there starting to feel like this season of Below Deck is perpetually stuck in first gear? For the first couple episodes, I chalked it up to a new crew. After all, we didn’t have Kate Chastain as our fearless leader to get things going. Plus, Captain Lee Rosbach spent almost the entire first episode in the hospital. For the first time, our real fearless leader arrived on My Seanna hobbling and, well, fragile. As a result, everything felt hesitant and uncertain. But at a certain point, you expect everyone to get their sea legs under them and get the show moving. Right?
However, that hasn’t really happened yet. As a result, we’re five episodes deep into the season, and everyone’s insecurities are running rampant on this boat. Captain Lee may be recovering, but the only crew member who really jumped in and dealt with her insecurity was Izzy Wouters. And look at her now! All it took was a change from interior to deck crew and she’s thriving on board. Most of the others? Not so much…
Is there anything more obnoxious than a bunch of drunk, entitled college kids? Oh wait, I can think of one thing. A bunch of drunk, entitled college kids…on a yacht. In the Caribbean. Unsupervised. I honestly can’t decide what I’d rather put up with for a charter: these spoiled children or the first group of equally terrible adults. Seriously, whoever’s casting the charter guests for this season is really putting the Below Deck crew through it.
And is it me, or is the season just not…gelling yet? We’re already on the fourth episode, second charter, and something just hasn’t come together yet. We’re also on the fourth episode, second charter and nearly half the crew has broken down in tears already. I mean, is the spirit of Kate Chastain haunting My Seanna? Was the looming threat of the coronavirus ruining the vibes in the Caribbean long before the pandemic shut down production on Bravo shows across the board? I simply can’t put my finger on what’s happening with the vibe of this post-Kate season.
Captain Lee Rosbach is no rookie to the reality TV game. He has built a brand over the years starring as the original Below Deck captain. Not only is he a Bravolebritiy, but he sells merchandise and event bookings on his personal website.
Lee also critiques each crew member on their performance in a weekly blog. It’s pithy and full of Captain Lee-isms. Struggling crew members often get a larger paragraph. This week, James Hough was on Captain Lee’s radar for his lackadaisical attitude and fixation on the opposite sex.
It’s only Episode 3 of Below Deck and everyone’s ready for it to be over. The first charter, of course, not the entire season! We’ve suffered through two weeks with these horrendously high-maintenance guests and it’s time to get them off the boat. So thankfully, although this week picks up right at the end of the fight over James Hough, it all fizzles quicker than Francesca Rubi letting the air out of a balloon. In fact, the only thing not deflating looks to be James’ chances with Francesca? Because surprisingly, the chief stew doesn’t entirely turn down the junior deckhand’s flirtatious banter. But maybe that’s just a sign that this first, terrible charter has made everyone on board crazy.
The next morning, the charter draws to a blessedly quick close. One that’s made even quicker by the fact that Captain Lee Rosbach opts to pull anchor and head for the dock early on account of the rain. So after a streamlined breakfast of French toast by Rachel Hargrove and a particularly tight docking, it’s time for guest departure. Oh, but one more thing! Because of course there’s one more thing. Primary guest (from hell) Charley can’t help but be a bit condescending in his goodbye, but follows it up with a giant tip — $25,000 to be exact. Which is huge, especially considering the crew was literally expecting no tip at all. But does giving a giant tip truly make up for being a terrible scourge on charter crews everywhere? I guess that’s just the world of yachting…
Many Southern Charm fans miss Cameran Eubanks narrating the show. Some people are hating on her for quitting as soon as Kathryn Dennis brought up rumors about her husband Jason Wimberly cheating.
Even so, for the most part, Cam has been relatively unscathed throughout her reality TV career, which started on MTV’s The Real World. On Southern Charm, she spent most of her time commenting on other people’s lives, keeping hers pretty private. But, perhaps, she was waiting to open up until she could share her story on her own terms.
How many terrible groups of charter guests does it take to make not one, but two crew members cry? This week on Below Deck, the answer is just one. You guys! I cannot reiterate enough what monsters these guests are. And it’s only the first charter of the season! We’ve barely left the dock and chaos has completely taken over My Seanna. And I blame it almost entirely on Charley Walters and his band of vile friends. Well, if you can even call them “friends.” But let’s not ahead of ourselves.
Need I remind you, this is also the third time Bravo has let Charley onto this show. Two seasons ago, he and his gaggle of mean girl gays were the ones who forced Josiah Carter into a gold speedo. And reminded him of the gay bullies who terrorized him after he came out. Which, let me tell you, is sadly all too real in the hateful world of gay-on-gay social circles. (They also got chewed out by Captain Lee Rosbach that season for dangerously operating the jet skis without a kill switch, and putting their lives in danger.)